A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together a year, living together for 6 months. Last week he changed his hotmail and facebook passwords out of no where. He says its his business and none of mine. Why the sudden change? Should I be worried something is going on? Please be honest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the responses. Yes I am young.. Only 20. But we both openly would get on each others accounts.. One day I found an email between him and a woman I did not know.. Talking badly about me, and our relationship. So I confronted him, and the next day he changed his passwords. Our relationship is now better than its ever been, I just hope there is nothing I'm not seeing. But I feel like I have nothing to worry about and for the first time fully trust him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 May 2010):
Something's up, that's for sure. And you need to find out what. Something us up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Yep, it happened to me. I let those little tell-tell signs go just like the majority have stated above, trying to believe and trust in him. Come to find out he was having an onlne affair. Had told her he was in love with her and would be moving there to be with her. He failed to mention to her that he was already in a committed relationship. So, when she found out about me she started posting on his facebook wall, got into an arguement with the kids (our kids are teenagers), sent me threatening emails, etc.... What a sordid mess..... Just be wary of anyone in a realtionship that tells you it's none of your business. If it's none of your business, then get the hell out!
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Tell me, did you do something to violate his trust, eg snooping? Or, did he simply change the passwords out of the blue? You say he did it out of nowhere... have you asked him why he did it? People need space in relationships but a reasonable person would feel insecure over this. In order for a relationship to work, there needs to be understanding. I can understand your perspective and your boyfriend should be able to understand as well.
I can't know for sure that something is wrong but it would make me upset if a boyfriend changed his passwords out of the blue like that and responded, "It's none of your business."
Hey Dan, there was a show back in the '90s called the "Red Green Show." Red Green, are you a fan, by any chance?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Green_Show
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A
female
reader, RNMeritt +, writes (10 May 2010):
My initial reaction is to tell you to get out of the relationship with him immediately. My husband of 25 years slowly started doing this to me and he was having an affair with another woman. The man I loved and trusted completely is a liar and a cheat. However, every situation is different. Did you know all of his passwords, did you check behind him often, did you ask questions about his innocent interactions with other people, are you controlling and suspicious and wanting to know his every move? Have you been making big deals out of little nothings? Remember, you are not married, so technically, it is not any of your business. But, technology has severely changed the way people interact with each other. If he were my boyfriend and I had not been snooping and checking up on him and making mountains out of mole hills and bugging him to death with my own insecurities, I would leave him. You cannot trust him because he has made it clear that what he does is none of your business. That means his "electronic" relationships are more important to him than you are. He has chosen technology over your feelings. He does not love you. If he says he loves you, he only means he doesn't want to lose you yet because he enjoys getting sex when he wants it. As soon as he finds a replacement for you, he will no longer love you so much. When a man loves a woman, he would never do anything (like what he has done) that might jeopardize his relationship with her. Be thankful you only have a year invested in your relationship with him. Suck it up and leave. Living with a man is never a great idea. Why should he be faithful? He can have you and others too (have his cake and eat it too). You know in your heart whether he can be trusted or not. You would not be asking this question if you were not looking for someone to tell you to trust him. Move on... That is just my opinion from the tiny bit of information you shared. My answer might be totally different if I knew more about both of you and your relationship with each other.
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A
female
reader, greenflower +, writes (10 May 2010):
I would just talk to him about it. What's the worst that can happen? If he's guilty of something, you'll find out. If he's feeling like things are going fast and he needs a little space, you'll find out. If he's just being a jerk, you'll find out.
Just be non-confrontational. Maybe open with how you feel about him using the words "that's his business and none of mine". You could say you respect his privacy but you're confused about how aggressive that sounds.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): To be honest with you, neither of you should have each other passcodes to personal email and networking accounts. If you don't trust your boyfriend, then you should probably think deeply about being in a committed relationship with him. Without trust, you basically have nothing. Of course lies will pop up here or there, but not about important things. Further, a year is a short period of time to be in a relationship with someone and move in with them. Maybe you need your own place. You have no business snopping around in his email and networking accounts.
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A
male
reader, astral_traveller +, writes (10 May 2010):
In a relationship, you need to trust each other. At the same time, you need to give some space to each other.
There are certain things we are better off not knowing. Certain things that bring unnecessary suspicion and cause relationships to break. An example of that could be your partners past might try to reach him, he may handle it in a way that is good for your relationship. But if you get to know this and react/respond, it might cause both of you a lot of stress.
I don't your age, but you sound you are very young.
Words of caution : You are the better judge of your situation. Others can only relate your situation to events in their life or to the lives of people they know. So please do NOT get carried away with an answer that supports your thoughts.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 If you are in a relationship , I believed everything should be like an open book.
He should not change the password because it will give rise to the notion that he may have something to hide from you .
If you have nothing to hide, why change the password and keep you off limit.
How can it be his business only and not yours too? You are his other half and you should know what is happening in his life.
If that is the case, then you can claim everything you want to do is your own business and none of his business.
You might as well stay single and not involved in a closed relationship.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (10 May 2010):
 If he used to give you free access to his accounts, and then you did "one little thing" here and "another teeny tiny little thing" there, then, as Red Green 0289 says, maybe he got upset over those "little" things and decided he would not give you free access anymore. In this case, you would only have yourself to blame.
On the other hand, if he used to give you free access to everything, you didn't do anything (not even a teeny tiny thing) and he suddenly prevents you from seeing his mail, then something might be wrong. But I can't know.
Red Green 0289, I have the feeling that you chose your nickname over those circles they use to determine whether you're color blind. Am I right? Just curious.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): He has changed them because he is up to something he should not be doing,i know because my ex did the same thing and i managed to get past this and yes there was women he was in contact with he is cheating walk away now
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (10 May 2010):
Have you been snooping? How did you know he changes them? If you've been logging on his accounts with his passwords you're lucky that's all he did.
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