A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We were together for about 6 months and I lost my virginity to him. I admit that I still DO have feelings for him, and on some level always WILL since he was my first, but I would really like to be friends and not have him simply disappear out of my life. People say you really can't be friends after going out, but is anyone still good friends with their ex? Or is it just too awkward?
View related questions:
lost my virginity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Yeah i guess you could. I wouldnt say it will ever be the same though. My "First love" was my best friend for a year before we decided to get together, so it would have been a shame to never speak again as we had such a good friendship before. It was a really mutual breakup aswell, we went out for a few months and it just wasnt working, we sort of put it off and put it off until he made the first move and admitted it wasnt working. We were both gutted it ended and i think in a way we sort of helped eachother get over eachother too. A month or two on and we're OK, its never awkward or upsetting to be around him, plus we always are cos we're in the same close friendship group. But we'll never be as close as we were before we started going out i guess. Its a shame but better to be good friends than hate eachother afterwards
A
female
reader, PillsburysGirl +, writes (22 October 2008):
 it depends on the situation. I am friends with a couple of my exes, one in particular, is my best friend, and the co-owner of my clothing company. the others things to consider are:
Does he want to still be friends?
If he has a gf already, how does she feel, and how would you feel?
Would it be hard to see your ex with someone new?
hope that helps
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 I lost my virginity to a guy when I was nearly 16, ended up marrying him at 18, split when I was 21, divorced when I was 23. Weren't friends for a few yrs after, but now, 16 yrs after divorcing, we get on great and will always be there for each other. We have both had children since we split. With other people, our daughters are actually in the same class in seniors now they are 11!! And we will always be there for each other. But wouldn't get back together.
Hope thats answered your question!
C xxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, simplybecause  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Hey,I know its a bit hard. But it can happen. My first boyfriend we went out for 2 years! And now we are friends. But the only reason were able to be friends is because we fully have no feelings for each other. He talks to me about his girlfriend and I talk about my relationships.Since you said you still have feelings that is what will make it awkward. Because when you still have feelings for someone you are sensitive to everything they say or do.I would say for now you can't be. Once you are both over everything that went on between the two of you and you both start to move on, then yes of course you will be. But right now it will just be to hard. But know that he is not out of your life forever, just for a little. It does get easier I PROMISE!!!in the mean time just keep your self busy. dont be afraid to move on. Nothing gets you over someone faster then another boy:)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): i strongly believe that you cannot just be friends with someone you have been in a long relationship. You wanting him in your life still suggests to me you dont want to let go completely because you care for him on more than a friends level.
...............................
A
female
reader, KiaGrace +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Oh, the age old question. Some people will tell you can, and others will tell you that you can't. I believe that it's all based on history, how long you guys we're together, if you loved eachother, and what happened along the way. Some people have good break ups, and others have bad. A good break up would be based on you both agreeing that you shouldn't be together anymore, and it's time to move on. A bad break up would be throwing dishes around, and saying how much you hate him/her because they broke up with you. Those break up's usually don't result in friendship. After you've been with someone for so long, you feel attached, like loosing them would be like loosing a whole other part of your life. You don't want to risk that. No, you'd rather just try the friends thing. Well, to tell you the truth, being friend's with a past lover isn't always an easy thing. There will definetly be alot of jealously. I am friends with some of my Ex's, but sometimes it can really be hard spending time with them, because old feelings come back and all hell breaks loose. My most serious boyfriend, I ever had and I, do not talk anymore, even when we see eachother, it's just a nod or a wave..
it's up to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Many, many years later and we are still in contact. Very much at a distance, like with a birthday or Christmas. I don't think you will ever really move on if you are to close or in to much contact with this guy.
...............................
|
