A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I don't have anything in common. He has things that he like to do and the same for me. He stated to me that he don't think our relationship will grow because we don't have anything in common. He wanted me to listen to this song of the rapper Eminem, I listened to about half of it. He asked me did I, I told him half of it. He got upset because all he wanted me to do was listen to the lyrics of the song. The thing is I don't care to listen to too much rap, especially Eminem. I'm just not interested. He said we won't grow because I'm always against doing what's outside of my box. I'm sorry if we don't have anything in common, but I think it's wrong of him to say that. We've made it this far without having things in common; we've been together a little over a year. I guess my question is....Can a relationship grow without having things that we like to do in common? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (29 October 2010):
In my experience, a couple needs to have a fairly large overlap in interests to survive. Put another way, I believe that the "opposites attract" concept is mostly bunk, as it just doesn't work over the long run.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Sounds like the lyrics could mean something to him that's deeper than simply sounding "cool". Could be expressing how he feels at the moment but can't articulate himself, could even be related to you? Shooting blindly here, but they're all possibilities...
You couldn't spend 5 minutes indulging him, even if you didn't like the song? That's not a great sign.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (29 October 2010):
 You know what defines your relationship to me? The fact that he asked you to listen to a song that would take a max of 10 minutes out of your life and you weren't even willing to give your boyfriend that.
I'm sure it goes both ways, but I don't see this relationship going anywhere. When you love someone, you're interested in the differences between you. Opposites attract, but in order for them to work out you have to be accepting and open. You're neither, so it's best if you walk away.
...............................
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (29 October 2010):
People like certain things or enjoy doing certain things, and they generally want their friends and partners to enjoy some of the same things. So I don't think that if you have nothing in common, you will be able to make it too much further than this. If you have nothing in common, what will you do when you're together? What will you talk about? It doesn't even have to be too much in common, just enough that you can watch tv shows and movies or go out drink/canoe/dancing or whatever so that you can fill up your time and enjoy each other. And for the things that you don't have in common, you generally try to show some interest occasionally in their interests. So while I'm not a big mixed martial arts fan, my bf is, so I listen when he talks about it sometimes and we watch some of the big matches together. He knows I'm not that interested, so knows not to bug me about it too much, but appreciates that I do try to show interest.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): I find it hard to believe that you have a good relationship of over a year!!! but have absolutely nothing in common. To be a couple you don't have to have a lot in common and you also don't have to like all the things your significant other likes and vice versa. Just a little in common such as you are both college grads, both christains or both religious, you both like thai food. You don't have to have similar aspirations, both like the same music or have the same political affiliations.As a matter of fact its often your differences that cause generate passion and spice in your relationship. Although it can also generate conflicts LOL. Also its important that couples keep their own lives seperate from hanging with their lovers. otherwise you will suffocate each other and drift apart.Try to figure out what little you may have in common and then celebrate that. BUT if you find you have absolutely Nothing, then it must have been the sex that drew you together. Maybe you guys can start new things in common and find new interests. if not you can always break up.ciao
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 October 2010):
I'm afraid your boyfriend is right, though he's not right just to blame you. It takes two to make a relationship work. He is now telling you there is a problem. You've already found that unless you have things in common, it can't happen. You've got to just over a year, and your boyfriend is already telling you that because you don't have things in common, this won't grow. You got to a year, but without anything in common, it just won't work out. Another two years, and you'll find that you're drifted totally apart. A couple need to have things in common in order to grow. Your boyfriend knows that, and has warned you that things need to change one way or another. So the two of you now need to work at this and find things in common. If you don't, there is little point if continuing.
...............................
|
