A
male
age
36-40,
*enshiro
writes:well im at my wits end.. I just don't know what to do I feel so blind and like I'm on a dark road that I cant see whats in front of me.I shall startfrom the start you see I moved into a house and a girl moved in with me (shes japanese) and well we became best friends very quickly we have so much in commen and we make each other happy and we get along so well. Anyway she was dating this guy who ended up moving to another country and so they broke up (it was a little bit befor that were I started to really like her but i couldnt tell her) anyway after a little bit we were hanging out and I finally got the courage to tell her my feeling to her and I found out that she liked me as well, but that was that till one night we were drinking and I rememebr looking at her and looking at her lips and wanting to kiss her so during the night I asking if I could kiss her and she said yes, and it felt like all the planets lind up it felt so right and over a few weeks we became closer and closer till we were together, so for 2 weeks we were officialy boyfriend and girlfriend and i tell you know I've never felt so alive to be with my best friend my heart still jumps when I think of it we were so close it was so real to hold her in my arms when we made love is was amazing, just sleeping by her side felt so right, but after a bit she started to pull away when I whent to kiss her. I asked her what was wrong, she said that she still loved her ex that we should just be friends cos if we kept on going like we were she would hurt me so we stoped, and I didnt know what to do because my feeling for her kept on growing. I adore her. So I got the bright idea that if I treated her like a girlfriend that she would see that I could be the one for her that I could heal her heart and don't get me wrong she said that it felt nice when I told her that I was falling for her, when I gave her gifts and flowers and when I held her. she still liked me and saw me as a great guy but only as her best friend.then over christmas I went away only to come back to her saying to me that she can't do "this" anymore it's making her push me away and she didn't want that she does not want to lose me but if it didnt stop she would leave and never see me again.and so here I am I've fallen in love with my best firend and I'm wanting her so badly, the very sight of her sends my hear racing.what I know is that if there was nothing there at all she would not of wanted to try to be with me at all she would of told me that she doesn't think of me that way from the get go. We have talked about this and I know I can't keep talking about it with her that's only going to push her away more but I have asked her if she felt that we were great to gether that we do make a great couple and we do still like each other that we are best friends that there IS some thing there and she agrees with me but still can't see more that just her best friend.how do I show her that I can be there one with out her pushing away, I love her so much and all I want is to be with her to have her again my best friend as my girlfiend to love her and to be loved by her. cos I feel that we are ment to be that we were ment to meet and become best friends to become more.how do I do this? How do a capture her heart and fill her with happyness that she fills me with? how do i make her see that i CAN be more that just her best firend? That she can love me?..thank you for your time in reading thisanything to help me in my quest for my best friends heart. wish me luck!!
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male
reader, kenshiro +, writes (25 January 2010):
kenshiro is verified as being by the original poster of the question she is over her ex now, and i have told her my feeling, i don't know i just feel like were ment to be so much more that just best friends but i can't force her to feel like that as well.i just said goodnight to her and there was so much i wanted to say to her and do i jsut wanted to sit with her and watch the TV (in her room) with her talk for a while hold her in my arms kiss her my heart is eaching for this to happen again.i just wish there was some cear answer to this that someone out there could just say "right do this for 4 weeks and then this for 1 week and she will be yours" but i got the feeling that there isnt but i hope there is something out there some sort of advice that would make it all clear to me just what i should do in this situation beacause in my life this has happened waaaay to much in fact with every girl ive ever liked been with this has happend and im sick of it its like this i will meet a girl and i'll start to like her then she will like me we hook up we hang out nextthing you know were dating and then she turns to me and says your a great guy but i dont want you like that i anly want you as a friend, or in this case well this is a first for me. ive always grown up with the whole your one true love would be your best friend and i finally found a girl that is my true best friend that we really do connect on so many levels were we want the same things in life we are just great together only for this to happen again, i've got the nice guy syndrom were i get all these girls outthere saying im the sweetest most wonderful guy and that anygirl would be so privalage and so happy to have me as there boyfriend/fiance/husband, but then why dont the girls i like/love want me? im sick of this, im holding on to patience wearing thin, but i don't want to give up on her i know that yes i know that friends is better than nothing at all but for once in my life just once i want to be right about someone i just want this to be right to work, ever seen that movie click well i wish i had that remote right now so i could fast forward my life so i can see whats going to happen..i guess my path asnt been clear to me but sometimes i jsut get the feeling that im on the right path that i am were im ment to be and what is happening to me is happening for a great reason.. i just hope that my path is leading me to her heart, shes all i've ever wanted in my life, how good does that sound your marryed to your best friend you grow old with them you love them knowing that they compleat you as much as you compleat them, when we were together thats how it felt that i was finaly compleat taht i could do anything that my life was finally coming together. and you know what just her trying to be with me shows me that there is a spark there in her heart... how do i ignight the spark and start a blaze in her heart?thankyou for you comment i will try that poem/letter thing im good at exprecing my self, the thing is that i jsut dont ant to push her to much and say the wrong thing i feel like every time i try to bring it up (witch isnt offten hardly at all) that it just the same that she says "but i can't see you more that just my best friend im sorry i dont know how to change this" (sometimes i feel like she wishes that she could change how she feels for me so it wouldnt be like this) and i feel it pushes her away that little bit more, maybe if i did wright her a letter then she would have it to hold it and hang onto it and read over it again and again right now that sounds like a good idea....
A
female
reader, Yarou  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Well i'm just like you .
I to love my best friend...
But look... You were together and she still loves her ex.
Well why don't you try and explain to her YOURSELF that HE doesn't like her anymore and that YOUR always going to be by her side because she is your " best friend"
If she got the idea that her ex doesn't want her anymore you can then explain to her exactly how you feel about her.. write her a poem expressing your feelings or anything like that.
Be honest with her, Tell her your story, What you felt when you met, What was the feeling when you were together, What are your feelings right now.
I wish you luck :)
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