A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend since I was 14 (I am now 30) I have only slept with him and I have never cheated or thought about cheating before. I work with a lot of men and we get on while but lately I found my self flirting and then came the texts they where getting sexual and I liked the attention I didn't think for a chance it would go further but it has !!! I needed a lift to work so he came round in the morning eariler than expected so he came in then he visited me upstairs and we had sex.And since then we have have sex 4 more times I feel really bad.My boyfriend does not deserve this and I love him do much I would have nothing without him he is my best friend so why can't I stop? To make things worse my boyfriend loves to have sex without a condom I am on the pill and always make him stop half way through to put one on but I let this other man finish without one !!! I'm so scared he will find out the man I have slept with is known for sleeping around and has even slept with a friend and she stopping seeing him because he bragged , he promises me he won't but he can't be trusted?
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best friend, condom, flirt, player, text, the pill Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): "To make things worse my boyfriend loves to have sex without a condom I am on the pill and always make him stop half way through to put one on but I let this other man finish without one !!!"
This pretty much demonstrates your priorities right here. You are way more into this player than your BF. It is time to break up with your BF.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 August 2012):
You are going to get found out. It's inevitable. Either he'll say something, you'll slip up, or you'll get pregnant.
I think to be honest that you don't love your boyfriend. I think you're in denial about that. I think that he's just a safe option, and nothing else.
the time has come for you to take control of your life, go your separate ways and find someone you have enough respect for not to risk sexual health/pregnancy/heartbrake/embrassment.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (19 August 2012):
 Uuum a secret can stay secret even if your involved wit a guy that gets alot of attention from people who want to play outside or there relationship or what have you maybe he is not a bragging player just able to get what he deserves and desires wheather he is mature or not doesn't effect anything cause you messed with him even after do you not like his immature qualities you maybe attracted to that carefree nature immature quality like everyone else if he is the player you say he is wow he must really like you most players don't keep going back one time action then on to new adventures with new desires new choices. ask him next time is he go tattle tell kiss and tell talk to him about whatever concerns you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): Nope, you've really made a rod for your own back this time. There are several ways your boyfriend could find out:1. The fact that you let this other guy finish without a condom, could leave you pregnant (This isn't going to be the doing of your boyfriend since you make him use protection)2. This other guy sleeps around and I doubt he uses protection, so he could have any infections or diseases he may have passed onto you, which you will then pass onto to your boyfriend. (Your boyfriend will know you've not picked them up from him because he doesn't sleep around)3. If this guy is a bragger about who he sleeps with, then why would he even consider not bragging about this? You're probably just another number on his list of women he's slept with. He's bound to brag about you like a new trophy too!I would urge you to end things with this user and tell your boyfriend. Not least because he's going to find out sooner or later anyway, but also if you do want to be with your boyfriend and not this other man or anyone else, its best to be upfront about it if there's a chance to save the relationship after it all comes out. I'm guessing you don't love your boyfriend or want to be with him as much as you say though. And this is probably just guilt and disgust talking, otherwise you COULD and WOULD have resisted this mess. Whatever the relationship is lacking which drove you to do this, you could have sat down with your man and made him aware that you are not happy about something in the relationship.People often have drunken one night stands behind their partners backs, yes they're wrong too but they were drunk and wasn't thinking clearly and often aren't fully aware, but are genuinely sorry the next day when they wake up and realise. You have been sober while getting involved with this man, so I'm guessing you were aware full well of what you were doing.
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A
female
reader, Kittykatt988 +, writes (19 August 2012):
To be honest I think you should tell your boyfriend, if this guy has bragged before why won't he again? What makes you so special. Also you say you boyfriend doesn't deserve this, but you have go on to do it on more than once.
He deserves to hear from you, don't lie the truth always comes out! And I mean always. It could be a year ten years. But when he finds out it will hurt more because you have tried to cover it and lie.
Cheating is always selfish, and the fact you are putting your partner at risk of Stis is disgusting. Your a grown woman, grow up!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): Leaving aside the whole topic of the health risks to both you and your partner, it sounds like you've gotten yourself into a very bad situation.You don't need anyone on here to tell you that you've betrayed your long term partner, you can't even claim it was a one-off spur of the moment thing.I think all you can do is be honest with him, but be ready for him to walk out on you. I know that I wouldn't stay in a relationship like this. If you don't tell him, the guilt is going to eat you up. You'll change when you're with him and eventually he'll work out what's going on. Failing that, the player that you've slept with is going to boast about it at some point. This secret is going to get out and it will be far better if it comes from you.
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