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Have I made the right decision? To not go to college? My Boyfriend is going to college, and now I'm doubting myself, and missing him.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Friends, Long distance, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2012) 17 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Long story short,my boyfriend is going off to college. I trust him not to cheat, so my real issue is two other things...

One, I'm lonely. He's living pretty far away, and he's told me we won't be able to see each other much because he needs to focus on his studies.

He hasn't even started college yet, and I already miss him (He moved further away after graduation to be closer to his college. And now I just really miss him. I need advice on how to make this better so I don't suffer extreme lonliness or something.

And two, I'm starting to doubt my decision to not go to college and instead immedeately start job hunting.

I've had zero luck ANYWHERE finding a job, and I can't look out of town, because I don't have a car yet (No money).

I see him going off to college and getting a college degree, and it makes me question my own decisions. Was it right to skip college? Is there any hope for someone without a college degree? If my decision was wrong, what should I do?

And that's really it... But I need help with those two things, because really, that's all I've got to think about right now, my future/career, and my love life. Well, driving too, but once I get a job I can get a car.

I just don't know what I'm supposed to do....

View related questions: money

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm really not sure if I'm enthusiastic or not. I do a good job and work hard when I need to, but I'm just so unsure right now...

The only thing I'm certain of is him. We're both old fashioned in that if something is broken, we'll fix it, not throw it away. If we have a problem, we won't end the relationship, we'll talk about it and try to fix it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012):

You are so unsure because you are so young.

Don't be so sure that this guy is your last stop on the train of romance.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (22 August 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntThat's why you should go on to college, to explore the different fields of study. Most people don't know what they want to do for a living at your age. That's what college can do for you. You will never find that kind of fulfillment by staying home and waiting tables.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (22 August 2012):

cute angel agony auntWell everyone experiences failures,but you need to stand up,be brave and face them..its part and parcel of life..never give up..you rather seem disinterested about everything,be it college or work,your a young girl you should really keen and enthusiastic I don't really sense it here,I may be wrong!

Don't lose hope,ask your friends,neighbours your looking for a job so if they know anyone who is hiring to tell you know..you need to take the first step than sit here and crib!

Good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Only thing is, I don't know what I want to do. Everything I've wanted to do in the past ultimately failed for one reason or another....

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (22 August 2012):

cute angel agony auntDepends what kind of jobs your looking for??waiting tables,working at a supermarket as a cashier,or a saleswoman or probably baby sitting..there are soo many options..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012):

We can't tell what you will find "out there". You will have to go find it for yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

What kind of stuff?

And none of my family has ever gone to college, and they don't seem to care either way.... I just don't want to be a burden, or a waste of time and money...

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (21 August 2012):

cute angel agony auntWell I think your really not looking for advise,you'v made up your mind about what you want to do..cause you seem to be saying NO to everything..

Anywys since your an adult I am sure your capable enough to make a wise decision..

Good luck with job hunting

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (21 August 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntAt college they will be able to guide you towards a major and career for which you have both an apptitude and an interest. There are assessments to help determine that. You wouldn't be burdening your family as the end result of your college degree will offset any burden. What do your parents think about college?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

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I have friends. I talk to them, but it's not the same as talking to HIM...

And it's not like I'm not trying to find work right now. I've been trying so hard, trying to be successful with my job hunt, going everywhere and applying, following up, looking nice and making a good impression...

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (21 August 2012):

cute angel agony auntLonliness??is because right your at home,your boyfriend goes to college is interacting with people he will have a lot of friends,and you won't..

Unless you join work you can meet new people and make friends..either way sitting at home is just going to make it worse..

So whatever you decide is best for you,your an adult now you can make wise decisions..but whatever it is do it fast,you don't want to waste your time on it and start working or studying!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just don't want to put that burden on my family of having to pay for me for college...

Plus, I'm also really scared that I'm not going to be able to do good enough and waste their money, or I'm never going to find what I'm good at that I can get a degree for, and waste their money and my time...

And I notice you guys are only talking about college, but I really would like help with my loneliness too...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (20 August 2012):

eyeswideopen agony auntYou've heard that 40's are the new 30's? Well college is the new high school. It will severely limit your options if you do not go to college. You may get a fairly good job but have to sit back and watch college grads get promoted over you. It's extremely frustrating when you have more experience just not a degree. I'd definitely advise you to look into college now while you are young and unencumbered.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (20 August 2012):

cute angel agony auntHuni you have go to prepare yourself for the worst,you can't always think 'ok this is never going to happen to me'cause you know what it just might..

Well these days jobs for a high school graduate won't be that much that could support you..you may think job,money is what you want but finally at the end a college degree does matter..

If you really can't afford college right now,then you can go to community college or evening colleges,I am suree there are plenty of colleges that support students who can't afford tuition..may be you could study during the day and work at night,it would be hard but at the end it will be worth it..

Or what you can do it is,if you really want to work,you can do a short course on 'you know to become a beautician' or work at a hospital the accounts or wait tables you know that kind of stuff until you can support urself and have enough money to pay for college!

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'd like to clarify that I'm NOT a dropout. I'm a high school graduate. I just thought to myself that it's a LOT of money to go to college, and even if I do go to college, my family wouldn't be able to pay it all, so I'd be left in debt AND searching for a job.

I mean, I honestly just want a job that will help pay the bills and let me survive. I know for a fact my boyfriend and I are not leaving each other, ever. We've already established this, that we'll stick with each other through the good times AND the bad times, so that's not the issue.

But I don't even know if those low-level jobs are even hiring without over the top stuff nowadays....

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (19 August 2012):

cute angel agony auntIts really important to get a college degree these days,if you want a good job and want to be independent and support yourself..your boyfriend is smart to continue college while your decision is not so wise,what if in the future things don't work out between you and your boyfriend*god forbid*if it doesn't,have you ever thought what your going to do?your boyfriend will have a college degree,he will get a job and you will still be at the bottom of the scale..

I see your age between 18-21 which clearly states your still soo young,so buck up..start college,you can't be a college drop out and go job hunting..the world is getting competitive you need to have a degree to fight here,if not your just going to be on the last level..

See if you can borrow money from your parents,relatives and they can fund you for joining college and when you get a degree and start working you can replay them..instead while at college you can take up a job,waiting tables,work at a coffee shop so you can take care of your daily expense..

Be a smart girl and pick what's your right for you..

Good luck!

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