A
male
age
36-40,
*anditx2122
writes:(Mod note: Title set by the poster)Recently, I discovered that my girlfriend of 5 years had cheated on me. I left, of course, and moved out of state. Here's the problem, She is telling me that she is going to do everything to make things right with me, how incredibly sorry she is and wants me back. I think that she is truly sorry for what she did, but I don't know what to do. She also is moving to where I'm at now (we both grew up here) and I don't know how to go about this situation. Can a cheater be forgiven? how? What would she have to do to prove that she is really sorry?
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (25 February 2010):
 Of course she can be forgiven if she really explains to you why it happened. Life is complicated and sometime good people do things that they shouldn't do. Be forgiving, don't give her too hard a time and you'll have a "get out of jail free" card for the rest of your relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): Tell her u will forgive,only on conditrion that u have a 1 night stand to level the score. Do u think she will let u? If not then she understood exactly wot she was doing. She made her choice. If she was in a situation now or later, where she knew there was no chance whatsoever u would find out,wot do u think she would do? If you take her back enjoy the torment and never really knowing if she`s telling lies.Of course she is sorry for wot she did,she got caught.
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A
male
reader, cheated  +, writes (25 February 2010):
yes i agree with caring guy on this one. cheaters can change But only if they want to change.
my wife had cheated on me and now 2 yrs down the track we are still together. but i will say that trust can take a very long time to regain. when i go away for work i still run a tracking program on the computer for my peice of mind. and when i check it there is nothing. she is a completely different person now, as in for the better.
but if she ever cheated again, she would be out the door straight away.
good luck...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 February 2010):
First of all she needs to tell you why she cheated. Before you can make any decision, you need to know why. After that, the decision can become a bit easier because you will know whether it was something that she really didn't mean, or something she did. I think a cheater can be forgiven, but only once, and only if they are willing to work VERY hard. This means open books to you. No secret texts, no secret facebook accounts, no secret mail. She has to be open. She has to listen to you, she has to really work for your attention again. Believe me, you'll soon know whether or not she means it.
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