A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How do you forgive your husband after he has cheated. And made a baby with another women during your marriage. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Even if you plan to leave him , you will still need to forgive him.
You will have to decide to stay or leave him but you have no choice with forgiveness.
Do not forgive and you will pay a heavy price.
Unforgiveness is a sin and it is like a cancer which will
eat your inside and spread throughout your system.
You will become a twisted and mangled wreck.
You should weigh the pro's and con's.
If you want to live a good life,
you will have to forgive him.
Is anyone perfect and make no mistakes?
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (31 May 2008):
Even if you plan to leave him , you will still need to forgive him.
You will have to decide to stay or leave him but you have no choice with forgiveness.
Do not forgive and you will pay a heavy price.
Unforgiveness is a sin and it is like a cancer which will
eat your inside and spread throughout your system.
You will become a twisted and mangled wreck.
You should weigh the pro's and con's.
If you want to live a good life,
you will have to forgive him.
Is anyone perfect and make no mistakes?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): That my dear would be terribly hard. To do so I think that you would have to sacrifise more of yourself and go through more pain then it would actually be worth.Good Luck.EmiviaX
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A
female
reader, Mia Rio  +, writes (30 May 2008):
You Don't. Simple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): I don't really know what advice to give you - as I am struggling with exactly the same situation myself right now. For me the difficulty is that I know this man I married is not a 'bastard' - he is a good person who has made a huge huge mistake. It has effected me / us like nothing before, my entire world is different now and will never be what it was. It is hard to love someone, or want to and to hate them at the same time. Right now I just feel broken...I can't even describe it. I imagine you feel the same and I am sending you a hug - I wish you didn't have to go through this. Noone deserves this.My husband's affair was over several months - that hurts, that he lied and snuck around, that he took his ring off and pretended for 'her' that I didn't exist, that he had a new born child at home with me that he was also betraying....but all of that paled in comparison to the dispair I felt when I discovered the other woman was pregnant. She has recently had the child - I assume (we have not had contact w her), and I feel so afraid that she will 'be back' and play games with us for years to come. I hope so much that she will just leave us alone and raise her child on her own - for everyone's sake - however that would seem to be too easy. I have found I have not wanted to talk with my friends or family about this mess - there is a sense of shame, and also a desire to 'protect' my husband from the wrath he would cop if people found out...and if I do stay it would just make everything harder...but today I saw a counsellor for the first time. I cried, told her everything - and it felt like such a weight was lifted. I am still confused and lost and unsure what to do - but I have taken a step to try and sort through this and heal myself - whether that means I stay with my man or not I don;t know yet. I suggest you seek help and support to work through this - it is just too much to carry on your own. I honestly do not know if I will ever be able to forgive him but my husband has asked for that, and has asked for a second chance. I am trying. I know the other aunts make very valid points - but sometimes it isn;t as simple as these questions and answers can make it appear. I guess I am saying - noone can really advise you on what to do - only you know what you are capable of or what you need. But - if you decide not to leave like most on here are suggesting - you are not an idiot. I sincerely hope you can heal and that your life is shiny from here on in - no matter what you do!
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Sorry I couldn't have a future with this guy either. All the posters are right and I'm with them all on this. Think about STDs as well. I wonder how many times he shagged her to make her pregnant. Don't put up with this. Read Waterloo Sunset's post, don't let your guy STEAL your life as well. What a crime! Just a thought, but there will come a time for happiness in the future for you away from this mess. Hannah xx
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A
female
reader, bday121 +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Please take the advice of the other aunts, and leave him! You deserve better!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): lotus mama808 has it spot on. You do deserve better and there is someone better out there for you. My first was just like yours, only thing was he was a wife beater too, but he cheated 3 times, i finally got away, but the best years of my life had stole, stolen by a pig of a man. Dont let this happen to you. What happen when he wants to see the child, does the mommy get shagged too? He also has a right and duty to the child to support it, what then? Please dont hang around and waste anymore time, just get rid of the Grade A bastard.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Did he have the balls to ask your forgiveness? Is he worth it? It will change your marriage forever (assuming you forgive him), and at that point, I would begin convincing myself that there is someone better out there for me. Someone that cared about me enough to tell me that he wanted to be with someone else, that way I have the option of divorce before this could happen. My time is precious, and very valuable to me, so I would respect him more for not wasting it. He is wasting your time (in my opinion). How valuable is your time? I know that marriage is supposed to be a forever, binding thing, but it's almost never permanent. You will forever have trust issues with him. Is this how you want to spend your time on this planet? Wondering where he is, or if he's off shagging baby's mama? I wouldnt. I'd go out into the world while I had some youth in me and find a better someone that deserved my love and what I had to offer. Good luck, I hope everything turns out in your favor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): oh hell noo do not go back to him.if he loved you he wouldnt do that to you.if you were his only one he wouldnt do that thats really messed up dont even forgive him
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