A
male
age
41-50,
*onesperanza
writes:I'm not sure what to do with my situation anymore, i am in a relationship with a 19 year old girl and i am 30, we have a 9 month old daughter, and a baby boy on the way, she also has a 2 year old son from a previous relationship. We lived together for a year and have been living seperatley now for 4 months. we seperated originally 6 months ago and she cheated with another man and i tryd to forgive her and come back but i just couldnt do it at the time. There has been questions of her faithfulness throughout our relationship and she is constantly lying, even about the most insignificant and miniscule things, she avoids the lies until its months later and she doesnt remember what lies she told or why. I cant tell her anything without it becoming public klnowledge and she supports me on nothing. She's always choosing other people over me and she goes crazy, literally when i go out or go to a friends house. She will threaten to cause problems for me and my friends if im not home by a certain time or dont answer her call and put other people on the phone to prove where im at, i have never cheated on her so i dont know y she acts that way. Im very unhappy and wish there was something i could do to make her change or realize how her actions are affecting our family, but instead she constantly wants me to marry her. I feel like i would be walking out on my kids and family if i left but im not sure if i want to be here anymore. How can i fix this relationship and is it even fixable, any opinions advice or help would b greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (18 September 2008):
 I just want everyone to know that the age gap dont make a diffrence, my husband is 26 and i am 19 i was 17 when i met him and we are just fine, its not the age gap its the girl herself she is not ready to grow up and take responsibilty, You need to put your foot down to her and tell her how it is its not fair for one to do and not the other, if she leaves you get custody of the kids if you want them you have alot better chance then she does, dont wait intil they are all grown up and know whats going on do it now when they dont know whats going on that much!
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 She sounds a bit too spontanious to me. 3 kids by the age of 20? I always wonder why guys think they are going to make it last long term with a girl 10 yrs younger than them. Especially when she's still a teen. Maybe you like a challenge? Of course she's cheated. She's tied down with a couple of kids at a time in life when most her age will be out partying!
You took the risk of settling down with a girl, but expect her to live like a woman.
If its not working, you have no choice but to split. Its a shame yet another child is being brought into the world when you are both rocky. Children having children is tragic.
Hope you sort out a future for the children weather you are with their mother or not. You can both still be parents apart. The likelyhood of this lasting is pretty much zero, why wait til the kids are older and put them through arguments until then. Sorry if that sounds negative, but i think of it more as realistic.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 Do not marry her, Just move out and take the kids with you (if you can) or get a court order to allow you some type of custody.
This girl (not yet a grown woman) sounds like a fruit loop....
Maybe next time you should date someone who is closer to your age?
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