A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can Women and Men really be just friends if they are exs? My boyfriend still talks to his ex. He was talking to her before he and I met, but she lives all the way in Japan! They send emails back and forth and it kind of bothers me. He says its casual, that he only cares for her as a friend and that I'm the one he wants. But then why in the hell would he still want to talk to her? It bothers me that he cares for her even slightly. They didn't break up on bad terms. When she moved away, they maintained a long distance relationship and eventually grew apart. They decidied that they were not right for each other with no hard feelings. He told me he was surprised it lasted as long as it did and had she not moved, he would have broken up with her sooner...he even proposed to her before she left.........Why do they talk!? Am I just being paranoid or naive?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Hi
I guess every person is different. I personally would appreciate my bf speaking to his ex (You can call me crazy). I think that ex should stay where they belong in the past. I think that you should let your bf know that their communication is bothering you and im sure you can come t o some agreement. You are not being paranoid you are human and it is natural to feel the way that you do. Just soeak to your bf and let him in on your feelings. Also Remember Communcation is very important in a relatiomnship.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
A
female
reader, maria14r +, writes (23 January 2008):
well i think that exes could be friend if their break up was cool. if he's here with you and he tell you that your the one for him and he loves you then y worry? do you believe him when he tell you that because if you dont then that when i would worry.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Hi
All sounds fine to me. Im mates with my ex husband. We didnt have children together and we split 16 yrs ago. Ok, we didnt see each other until about 7 years ago, and even then it was only once when i went to a bar b q, but last summer we hooked up again, slept together twice, decided we werent gonna work if we got back together and now are just friends. He is with someone new and happy as larry. We txt now n then, nothing majorly regular, but i have no interest in him romantically and he doesnt in me. But we both know we will never lose touch again like we did all those years ago. You can never have too many friends ey!
Im also still friends with an ex from 4 years ago. Only tend to throw a txt at each other every 6 months or so just to see that both are ok, but yes, i do believe people can be mates after splitting. Maybe not straight away but after some time apart.
Your guy sounds a nice guy. Its simply a curiosity thing, he had a connection some years ago with someone and they keep in touch to see how each other are getting on. Makes perfect sense to me because i know where he's coming from.
My exes will never come between me and a future partner.
Another way to look at it is if there was anything between them like that, they would of got back together before you met.
All the best.
C xxxx
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Yes i do think ex's can be friends. As for the reason why they talk i think you answered your own question.
Not all couples break up on bad terms, throwing pots and pans at each other. They broke up on good terms, which means they can still be friends afterwards. Also i cant say how he cares for them but if what he says is true, as they dated i think he still cares for her as a friend, not nessacarily "cares" for her.
To sum up really yes exs can be mates, sometimes they hide their true feelings, sometimes they are just good friends, that were once together.
I think your being slightly paranoid but its not unjustified. Your bf seems to be telling you the truth here and its seems he hasnt lied to you so i doubt you have to worry here.
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