A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. I was at my friend’s wedding last weekend here in the Uk and I met one of his friend’s at a house party after. She was from the States and we must have spent about 4 hours talking. In my mind we got on really well and she has been on my mind since. I asked for her details and she gave me her email and phone number. Thy were around a few more days and she did say that she “was there until Tuesday if I wanted to hang out”. So I sent her an email on the Sunday night. I got no reply however so took it at first that she wasn’t interested. Then I looked at the email address and it looked like a letter could have been wrong or missed out. I know this can be a ploy to give fake details without being awkward so again I thought to leave things. However I remembered she’d also given me her number (her suggestion to give that as well as the email) so I used WhatsApp to message her yesterday and she replied. Just a simple message between us so far. But I guess my question is whether I should pursue or not. I like to travel and am in a situation where I’m looking to move around and travel for a couple of years anyway so I would be willing to go and visit if it came to it. I know of acquaintances who have met people from abroad online and are actually married now so I know it’s not unheard of. But the reality of it is that it’s a strange situation where we met once and don’t really have the opportunity to have an easy second date.Truth be told I haven’t met s girl like her in a long time and she hasn’t left my mind since. But obviously that doesn’t mean it’s reciprocal.Should I be ‘sensible’ and accept it’s too difficult to give a go or should I allow myself some hope and continue to pursue in the hope something will come of it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (26 August 2019):
It’s way too soon to be thinking about relationships. The first thing you need to do is find out whether there is actually a mutual desire for conversation and to get to know each other. Is she easy to talk to? Are you interested in each other’s lives? Are you both willing to put the effort in? Away from the excitement of a wedding, does the chat flow easily or feel forced and awkward? These are the things that you need to find out before you can decide if you have a chance of getting to know someone at all, never mind having a relationship with them. I do agree with Honeypie that the early signs aren’t encouraging, but if you feel like you need to get this clear in your head, try and speak to her and see what happens, without any expectations of where it will lead. If you can’t accept that you might only be gaining a casual, occasional friend who may or may not meet up with you if you visit her country, then leave it be.
Can long-distance relationships work? Yes, I think that it’s possible, but they face huge obstacles, and often they don’t. That you have such strong feelings for a girl you met briefly at a wedding, suggests to me that you get very attached quickly and I’m curious as to why that might be and what your relationship history has been. Whatever the case, it suggests to me that the distance will be hard for you. Throw in the demands of jobs, family life, friends and a time difference, and I think you’ll struggle even more.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 August 2019):
 She has make ZERO effort to see you again or talk further. LET it go.
I think you presume that a 4 hours conversation at a WEDDING means it's a sure thing.
You were are a wedding (which is an emotional and happy event) YOU were paying her attention and she you, maybe because SHE didn't know that many and it's NICE to have someone to TALK to at such a gathering.
I'd pull back. IF she doesn't make ANY more to talk to you, that means SHE isn't interested. TALKING to someone at an event doesn't mean you want to take it further. An that rings true whether she lives next door or across the Atlantic.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (26 August 2019):
 Wow! You have met someone once, talked to them for 4 hours and are already hearing wedding bells? You do know Four Weddings and a Funeral was fiction, not a documentary, don't you? I am kidding of course, but you really need to take a step back and chill out. You don't even have a clue whether this girl feels anything for you. As far as she is concerned, you could just be an interesting guy she spent a few pleasant hours with at a wedding. Do you even know if she has a boyfriend?
You have her phone number. Stay in contact and see what develops. Put wedding bells on the back burner for a while. You have so far to go before even considering such a step.
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