A
male
age
30-35,
*oga88
writes:Here is the situation, and thank you for reading this and possibly giving me some advice. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a few months now, and we usually spend everyday together. If not then we talk on the phone often and text. I am 20, and she is 19. There are literally times that we talk or spend the whole day together.But this week, I have been busy. My mother has been sick and I have had to help her around the house and drive her around places. I also need to help around the house, as I am living at home. This as well as school work has made me busy so far this week. However just now, my girlfriend texted me saying she wanted to break up. Because I haven't been talking to her as much, and if I haven't been talking to her, apparently it's just like she has no boyfriend at all.She refuses to answer my calls and any texts she just gets pissed off more telling me that my mom is doing this on purpose, even though she is quite sick at the moment, with the flu.I do love her and I love spending time with her and helping her out when she is feeling down. How do I help change this situation, or make her realize that I have only just been busy now because of my mom's illness and school?Please any help would be appreciative.
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female
reader, LadyCorsair +, writes (8 November 2009):
 Did you make her aware from the beginning that your Mom was ill? Could it just be a misunderstanding?My advice to you is to send her an email or a letter telling her that you're very sorry if she felt neglected, that you do want to be with her, and the reasons for your absence. Then cut all contact and wait for a response from her. This will give her the benefit of the doubt as to whether or not she is just a clingy, needy person or a genuinely upset person who misinterpreted the situation. Paranoid people tend to be quite selfish in the fact that they think everything is their fault. i.e. she may be thinking that you were having second thoughts about her, so pretended your Mom had flu to avoid her.The one email is definitely the way to go though... continuing constant contact with her is feeding her anxiety and making the problem worse. Keep the email upbeat and don't be accusing. i.e. "I'm genuinely sorry I made you feel that way, it certainly wasn't my intention." rather than "You were being selfish, my Mom's ill." I'm not saying you're in the wrong here- she is, I'm just trying to look at the situation from her perspective too.Good luck and I hope your Mom gets better soon! Google "Hot Whiskey Toddy recipe" and make her that... My Dad swears by it!Lady Corsair xxx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 November 2009):
I'd say you had a good escape to be honest. Either she wasn't that into you, and your mother was the perfect excuse, or she was clingly and you're better off without her.
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A
female
reader, twilightpisquiria +, writes (8 November 2009):
This girl sounds clingy and a bit little bit crazy. Trust me if she will leave you for this, you don't want her. Move on and find a healthy relationship. But if you really can't I'll just remind you that a lot of girls are saps for romance, even if they won't admit it. Send her flowers, write her a song, even a love letter. Just make sure you don't do it in a way that makes you turn into an accidental stalker
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (8 November 2009):
 I think your mother is just an excuse she picked up on. Sadly she isn't in to you in the same way as you are into her. It's hard but lick your wounds and find someone more deserving of your love and affection.
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