A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:heey i am a 14 year old girl who has been split up from her ex boyfriend for about 8 months now i was with him for about 8 months and i just cant get over him he treats me like crap all the time says he loves me then says he dont then has a go at me for having boys as mates when i asure him its nothing more and he's the one i lovee , i'm finding it so hard to get over him i love him so much i argue with my mum now because she thinks i am being silly but i just can't move on i send him texts all the time and try and put the effort in but he just doesnt put any effort in back :( what should i do move on or keep chasing him
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): ~THE BEAUTY OF MEMORY~
BE AWARE OF YOU...
Every time he infests your mind...stop...and grasp tight of one specific incident ((which of course are ______ in excess))...THEN...consciously and attentively relive the incident...being careful...*NOT*to...focus on the heartless, cruel, hateful, thoughtless, insensitive words and behaviors he repeatedly doused you in...BUT...focus PURELY on...how his heartless, cruel, hateful, thoughtless, insensitive words and behaviors...MADE AND MAKE YOU FEEL...
Is this how you want to feel?
Do these feelings make you feel special?
Do these feelings make you smile?
Are these the type of feelings that someone who is a friend or boyfriend is to make you feel?
He is incapable of making you feel what those right in front of you and all around you...even strangers...make you feel.
There are plenty of people...who are aching for you to embrace the love that they are obese with just for you.
Babe...go look in the mirror...please...wipe away your tears...you have so much love awaiting you...but in order to embrace it...you have to know that you are worthy of all those standing in line to treasure you.
Now call that special someone else...and say "Thank You for being my friend. I care."
God Bless Babe.
~LOVE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FRIEND IN OUR WORLD~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): what did YOU say
"he treats me like crap all the time"
what was that again
"he treats me like crap all the time"
and again
"he treats me like crap all the time"
Now try " no-opne treats ME like crap"
"NO-ONE"
"NEVER"
"EVER"
" no-opne treats ME like crap"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): hey same person as the question girl here....
dont be sad about moving on....i cried in front of my boy alot too but he shouldnt be ok with it and he shouldnt be letting it happen...
breaking up is the best thing that could happen if he doesnt love you because it means he wont be stopping you from the one who does or will
BELIEVE IN LOVE
and if you stay with him you wont ever be able to find him...dont be afraid to walk away when its not good because you wont find the beauty that is love that way
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): so i kinda went/slash am going through the same thing where it just doesnt seem like he cares and then goes and says i love you all the time but then picks fights about things that dont make sense..........
this is the thing first of all and ask yourself these questions and really try to answer them with as much honesty as possible and you will find the peace youre looking for:
1)do you know what you want in your life? i dont mean this in a way like oh youre too young or blah blah you could be ready for whatever...i mean this in like have you made up your mind that you want to be married, you want to have kids...you want to have a career?
if you want to be married and you think marrying him would be what you want think about this: could you imagine being with someone who ignores you for 40 years or something like that...you would feel alone without the freedom of finding companionship....and then on top of it he doesnt even like it when you have friends, do you really want that? are you really worth so little to yourself? you deserve to be happy you should want to be happy, and yea of course maybe you want to be happy by making him happy but if its not happening are you ready to always be the one begging and trying for the rest of your life? at some point he must have gotten comfortable with you trying so hard, and now he thinks he can do what ever he wants just because he doesnt think he will loose you...if he loved you he wouldnt take advantage of that he would keep it safe and treasure it
if you want to have kids one day heres another thought do you really think he would be able to be a good dad when he cant even be a good boyfriend?
do you want your kids to get ignored?
think about your unborn kids...dont you love them and want the best for them? do you guys have the same ideas about how life should be?
do you guys care about the same things?
i know this might be going too deep but youll see very quickly with these answers if he is the one for you....
another thing if youre not ready to think about marriage or kids then you just answered your own question...are you having fun right now? was the whole reason why you started for fun? is it worth thinking about if its not fun anymore then?
q2) what is your idea of love? personally i think true love is between two people...why would love exist at all if not to be shared? : if youre always doing the work its not love because if he loved you he wouldnt let you get hurt...it would bother him to see you hurt and he wouldnt be able to stand it....think about it if you love someone wouldnt you do anything possible to protect them from hurt as opposed to doing the hurting? wouldnt he have you in mind with every move he made...trying to make you smile instead of cry? wouldnt he trust you love him back because in his own heart he would just know that it was love and because of that be free of insecurities?
q3) how honest have you been? the truth has a power that nothing else does....if you are honest with him and you put everything out for what it is then there is nothing more you can do....its either gonna happen or not but you will be ok with both if you stay true to who you are and how you feel the whole time....listen to this song from Sinatra its called My WAy....if you can imagine standing having that song at your funeral (i know its kind of wierd) but if you can do that then that means you did everything you could do .....and if he isnt going to be good to you then well its because your real soulmate is still waiting to be with you somewhere else
believe in truth and love thats all you have to do to stop worrying and feel better if its love hell come back if its not be happy you arent wasting time away from finding the real love
and dont feel bad for looking out for that superman when he already told you that it wasnt him...you have a right to look for happiness and he has no right to stop you from going after it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyess he is very confused but still he has hurt me and i wear my heart on my sleeve and show it i cry to him all the time and tbbh i am just fed up with it alli love him and i want to be with him but i guess like you said its time to move on :'(
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 He is very confused!. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He is stringing you along until you guys actually break up meaning until YOU end it orhe finds a new girl so talk to him and ask him what he really wants! if he wants to break up and move on then DO NOT contact him in any form and move on as well. If he sais he loves you then his jelousy over your friendship with other guys is because of insecurity and out of fear of losing you so try to keep that in mind. Do have a chat with him and ask him what he really wants. Guys do this to us all the time, string girls along when they can't decide. Living in limbo and with uncertainty is not fair........
HUGS
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Never chase a guy who treat/speaks to you like/regards you as Crap.
It is horrible when someone we invest our heart, our hopes and dreams into them, in fact our every molecule in our brain and our body is consumed with thinking of him. But he is unmoved. He's not doing the same.
Eight months is a long time to be with a boy when you are 14. And since the breakup you have been hurting for just as long.
When a person is 'over' you then it is also time for you to package up all your hurt feelings and put them into small drawer in our brains. We always remember them. But they move on, and so must we.
We do ourselves no service to hold on to the grief for a significant time. More than a year is too long.
You have experienced all the grief and hurt of a failed relationship. A little part of your is battered and bruised inside from this.
No one would ever wish pain on another. Seeing someone suffer the pain of loss is horrible.
But the good part is that every set back makes you grow a little smarter and stronger. And more able to cope just a little better next time.
And until you 'let go' you can't move on to new happiness.
Your Mom understands how important it is that you regain your positive equilibrium and do return to treating yourself well and allowing you to hope the future will improve soon.
When someone fails to recognise the full depth of what a lovely person you are and that you will grow into a lovely woman then it is Their Loss. He has done you a favor by signalling that he can't see all your qualities.
It is time to remove his number from your phone. No more texts. He does not reply. He's not interested. Package anything to do with him and put it in a little box. Close it up and say goodbye in your heart, to him. It's so sad, but it's the reality to allow you to go forward.
And there are good things and new doors that will open.
You need to keep on being you. And someone else WILL recognise that you are deserving of more care, kindness and consideration and love, in the future. It may not be immediately, but it will happen.
So until it does happen it is time to rebuild you, be kind to you, be good to you. Your Mom wants you to be happy too. Recognise she doesn't want you to hurt this bad. Do nice things for you, and your Mom occasionally, and little by little you will emerge from this difficult time. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I know it is hard at the moment beacuse you still carry quite a strong infatuation for him. But the truth is you are still very young, and although it dosen't seem like it now you will get over this boy. Give it time, do some things to take your mind away from him, go out, have a laugh with your mates.Trust me in no time atal you will be looking back on this and wondering why you spent so much time stressing over him, time is the healer of all things.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Just ignore him, don't let it get to you and forget about him. Don't let yourself get down over anything because of him. You can do so much better and when he realises that you have moved on completely, he should stop.
good luck
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for the advice but when i dont talk him he doesnt seem happy and like he has a go at me for talking to other boys and yet he was the one that said we both should move on so why does he act like he dont care then when it comes to me talk to other boys he get jealous i am just so confused he needs to make his mind up because this all heart to much
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (14 December 2010):
Sweetie, if you guys broke up 8 months ago then you need to move on. You are broken up, not together! If you just had a fight then let him come to you when he misses you and when he is ready. He sounds like he is very confused and doesn't know what he really wants. If you keep chasing him, you will come across as needy and desperate and that will only push him away further. Act cool, move on with your life, cut all contact with him, STOP texting him, go out with family and friends and distract yourself from thinking about him by doing things you enjoy:) If it's meant to be he will miss you and come after you.....
Good luck hun and all the best!
hugs
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule +, writes (14 December 2010):
Are you saying that you've been broken up with him for ages now but he still leads you on and toys with your emotions or that he used to do that?
If he isn't putting any effort into your relationship then stop trying to contact him.
If I were you, I would delete his number from my phone, hide him from my wall on facebook, hang out with people who aren't friends with him.
He doesn't care about you like you want him to, you have to get over him.
Right now your coming off a bit clingy, if you distance yourself as much as possible from him, then you'll be able to get over him.
Good Luck
xx
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