A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this man this past summer and have since gone on several dates with him. I am not attracted to him physically AT ALL but thought he was a nice guy so decided to get to know him more and see if there's something..............He is crazy about me( wants to see me all the time, calls me baby, writes me poems, takes me out....etc) I feel terrible because I do not feel the same, I like him as a person but I am not excited to see him again and only get aroused when we kiss if I also have some wine.....otherwise I feel nothing! I think part of the problem is that I keep comparing him to my ex with whom i broke up 4 years ago because he was an ass (but a charming ass with whom i had a strong connection and lots of chemistry) had a hard time moving on because i didn't cut all contact with him for a loooooong time( i have completely cut all contact when i met this new guy but my heart is stupid and keeps thinking of my ex) This new guy is a great boyfriend but i think he is not Mr Right but Mr Rightnow because i can not picture a future with him. is that bad and wrong?? what should i do? Could he become the one with time and grow on me?Thank you all so much!!!
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Vee1  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 I felt exactly the same way as you with a guy a few months back. The fact that you are comparing and still thinking about your ex indicates not much more than he is the wrong guy for you. Not only are you wasting your own time but the other guy as well. Yes, most of us are guilty of pretending to like someone more than we actually do but dragging it out will cause him hurt and I am sure you don't really wish for that to happen.
In short, if this guy was right then you would not even be questioning the relationship nor thinking of your ex. Do the right thing and tell him that you 'cannot stop thinking of your ex', let him down gently and let him go.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (21 October 2012):
 What a shame that you don't feel anything for him.
Let him go, because he very obviously is ready to meet someone for a serious relationship, and there arn't many of those guys around. He deserves the chance to go find his Miss Right.
You also need to give yourself more time to get over your ex or else this scenario with repeat itself and you could find it becomes a pattern.
Let him go and deal with your past.
...............................
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 I would say it would be kinder to end it with him. It's really cruel to let him think he has a chance with you and things are going somewhere when they're not. The same thing happened to me recently, and I almost with I'd never met her.
If you don't break it off at least tell him the truth and where he stands. Tell him what you want to get out of it, and how far you're willing to go. If he decides then that he still wants to see you then fine. But you must be honest with him and not lead him along in the hopes something will click, or because he's making you feel good about yourself after your jerk of a boyfriend.
...............................
|
