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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear agony aunts,My new boyfriend keeps pressuring me to snog him and to give him blow jobs but i dont want to. Should i dump him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sparks +, writes (19 May 2006):
 There’s no room for pressure regarding physical intimacies. Everything must necessarily happen naturally and it must be pleasurable to both sides.
When a guy truly loves a girl, he respects her timing and waits, as long as the girl has good sense.
I say “good sense” because sooner or later some intimate contact should start occurring and gradually developing, as it’s a conjugal relationship and not only a friendship.
If the girl has little or no experience, then it’s normally expected the guy behaves like a gentleman and respects her timing. However, if the girl has had a fair share of previous relationships, she shouldn’t take too long before deciding if she’s willing to go intimate or not. In some cases, girls stall on guys for too long (many weeks) when they actually have plenty of past experience. That may make a man go nuts. So if you have a lot of experience, at some point you will need to decide if you want to take it to the next level or move on, and you shouldn't take long, seeing it’s unfair to push your partner’s patience to the limits. Of course there’s isn’t a precise time period objectively determined, so use good sense.
I must observe if you do decide to have something serious with a guy, that doesn’t mean whatsoever you will have to do things you dislike (for instance, oral sex).
A
female
reader, Little Blondie +, writes (18 May 2006):
He may just be pushing his luck with you, explain to him that you are not yet ready to do these things but in time you will be. See how he reacts to this and his answer will help you make your decision on dumping him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): Can i ask how old you are? If your underage then forget him! He seems to me that he is way to pushy. If he abuses you to give him blow jobs and snogs, then shove him! But if he calmly asks you to, then tell him gently without upsettin him that you dont want to and that its your desicion. If he cant take it, then thats his problem! Stand up for your right! Good Luck xx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (17 May 2006):
 You should never feel pressurised into doing things you don't want to. You sound like quite a strong person though as you must have identified this as being wrong to have wanted to post the question. Dump him if you don't think much of him but why not try talking to him first if he really means something to you. If you say you are not happy to get intimate at this stage and that he should back off then it will be a test of the person he really is. If he stays around you on your terms then maybe he is an overly-hormonal, but nevertheless rather nice guy. If he loses interest, then he is a sex-mad loser who is just after your body and not worthy of your attention.
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (17 May 2006):
 My dear you should NOT be pressurised into doing anything that you are not comfortable with. If you are not ready to be intimate with him in that way then dont do it, if he wone listen, you are better of without him. xXx
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A
female
reader, Ainley +, writes (17 May 2006):
 well first of how old are you? second scratch that cos it doesnt matter because not many girls like giving blow jobs anyway so you can rest ushered your not the only one there, but as for kissing take your time if he dont like it then tuff luck to him its up to not him, tell him its your way or the high way then youll know if hes worth your time and energy. i say good on ya girl too many people rush into things these days so you stay firm and take your time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): Yes you should definitely dump him. NEVER ever be pressured into anything you don't feel comfortable with. If he can't respect that you want to wait, tell him it's over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): If I said do whatever he tells you to do, it would sound pretty strange wouldn't it?
Therefore I think you know what you should do!
Good luck!
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