A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf is 14yrs older. I notice now that I dont get more thsn 5 mins of sex with him. He lasted longer before. I dont know why. I just want an orgasm too. But I never get it.
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (21 April 2012):
 It sounds like you need to have a word with him about his quick finishes.
I agree, that for most men, 5 minutes is about average from initial penetration. Although, if done properly, a man can delay his orgasm.
Here are some suggestions:
1) Extend foreplay. The longer you keep fooling around, the more likely you are to have an orgasm.
2) Have him engage in oral sex on you. This will prime you to reach an orgasm more quickly.
3) Have him wear a condom if he isn't already. This will numb him a bit and should allow him to last longer. You can also look at numbing creams. Most men probably won't want to do this. Optionally, you can use a little more lube so that you aren't as tight.
Ultimately, you need to make it clear to him that you'd like to have an orgasm too. It appears that he might be a selfish lover and he hasn't learned the fact that you both take turns (so to speak) in reaching an orgasm. A man in a loving relationship should do what it takes to make sure his lover is satisfied -- as a matter of principle AND pride.
It sounds like you have to have an open discussion about it.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 I would say that the thrill of being with a 22 year old is taking its toll. Anyways, you have to tell him that this is not what you like.
...............................
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (20 April 2012):
My advice is to incorporate some foreplay into your sex life, or perhaps toys such as a vibrator or dildo. You'll have to experiment to find what's fun for both of you.
For example, my previous girlfriend would become too sensitive if she had an orgasm prior to intercourse. So we'd have minimal foreplay, I'd have my orgasm from intercourse, and either she'd time her orgasm for when I finished or I'd finish her off after intercourse using my hands or toys.
Maybe your boyfriend is into oral sex, and he'd be willing to do that on you. There are many ways to address this, but asking him to last longer probably isn't one of them.
Best of luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 April 2012):
 The vast VAST majority of women don't have orgasms from the act of penetrative intercourse. This is primarily for two reasons: because guys don't last long enough to get it done, and there aren't enough nerve endings inside the vagina itself.
Have him give you an orgasm orally or with his hands first before he even thinks of entering you.
...............................
A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (20 April 2012):
 The average time a man lasts with penatrative sex is from 2-7 minutes, so he is completely normal. Why is it ending sooner now? He's got you, he doesnt feel the need to try an impress you in bed because you are comfortable with eachother. How long is your foreplay before you start penatrative sex? You could suggest him using his fingers or tounge on you before you have sex so you can have your orgasm first. This problem can only really be solved if you talk to your partner about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (20 April 2012):
Not good. If he has had staying power before, it looks like he's now not so worried about your needs. He is past the age of premature ejaculation. If he's not pleasing you in other ways to get you to orgasm and just satisfying himself then that is no good at all. How things are sexually is a good indicator of the overall health of the relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Ask him to masturbate ahead of time before you have sex with him then he will last longer
...............................
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (20 April 2012):
Have you asked him? He may be 14 years older but maybe he hasnt learnt that women also have orgasms?? or have you been pretending? either way you need to make him slow down, do more foreplay, etc. Young guys often don't know how to make a woman feel good, and sadly it appears many men dont care.
Without making him feel inadequate you need to teach him what you like and give him encouragement when he does it!
...............................
|
