A
female
age
36-40,
*adAsh6705
writes:Hi everyone, thanks for reading. There is a guy that I like, and when we first met he had a girlfriend, so we were really just friends, but after they broke up we would make out sometimes and we have had sex a few times over the past 6 months. Nothing serious, and we both see other people and are honest about it to each other, so that's not the problem. The problem is that last night I found out that he was planning on having sex with one of my friends, and he spent the night at her house. This happened last night and the last time he and I had sex was Thursday, so it was only 2 days later!! I don't think she knew that we had sex 2 days before, but she did know that I have had sex with him before, and so I am kind of pissed off and just confused as to why she would do this. Honestly, I know why he would do it because he is a man whore, so I can only blame myself for being stupid enough to be involved with someone like him, but as for my "friend" I don't know how to approach her about this. Obviously I don't want to be friends with someone who is going to go behind my back and sleep with a guy I am already sleeping with. Who does that? Anyways, I would like to know what you think would be an appropriate way to handle this because I am at a loss.
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female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (22 April 2010):
BadAsh6705 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your responses. Being the responsible person I am insert sarcasm here , I decided to wait a few days to see how I felt before confronting my friend. Now, I'm pretty sure that they didn't even sleep together...she said they didn't, and I believe her. Also, even if they did I realized that I don't really care about that guy and neither does she, so it ultimately doesn't really matter if they did or not. I am still not sleeping with him anymore though! haha...too bad for him!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Sharing is caring. Hey, be realistic, this man isn't your boyfriend and you don't have any "rights" with him. He's not yours. He is a manwhore, thats correct, and your friend is just having her fun as well. If you are good friends, politely point out that he is sleeping with other women, as well as you, at the same time, incase she happens to develop feelings for him. Just as a heads up. Then stop having sex with him, he obviously has no respect for you.
I had the same happen with a guy, he was flirting with me while sleeping with other women. We never had sex but he told me he had feelings for me and then he kissed me (very romantic and all). Less than a week later he had a friend of mine over and they made out. She told me this not long after and it actually cost us our friendship. If you dont want to loose your friend, back off and stop sleeping with this guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): Someone needs to educate your pal in girl law! We don't hook up with ex's. We don't hook up with a man our friend likes and is planning or trying to date. We NEVER hook up with a man our friend is already dating or sleeping with. We don't hook up with male family members of our friends unless they encourage it.... blahblahblah....Yes, he was open to hooking up with other chicks, so from his perspective he really didn't mess up, and I agree. He was only holding to the standard in your relationship. Why are you willing to put up with that? But if it works for both of you, that thats great! Your "friend" was out of line. That is not something a friend does, period. She's more interested in d**k than friendship, so leave it that way. Move on from both of them. Consider him collateral damage, because you don't wanna be sleeping with the same guy she is!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Your friend could be sexually attracted to him like you do and she wanted to find out how good he is.
You can put your friendship with that friend on hold because you felt been stabbed in the back.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 I can understand your gut reaction is feeling annoyed and a bit "territorial " about this guy, a "I saw him first "reaction , but on a more rational level you have no grounds for feeling betrayed or disappointed.
The guy is a man whore, he's sleeping around with everybody and his sister- you are one of his sex buddies. There's no committment between you. He is not your fiancee', he is not your boyfriend, you don't even date. You just have casual encounters. Maybe your friend wants someone for casual encounters too. I agree with you that she may have acted a bit tactless and inconsiderate, knowing that you fancy this guy. But not terribly so. After all, this guy is not yours ,you already share him with other girls and it does not bother you- she probably thought that one more girl will not make any difference.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): I think that you should talk to your friend about how this made you feel, if she is a true friend she will understand and hopefully back off, you have a right to be upset however she may not see it like that because you are just having sex with this guy, nothing serious. I defiantly think you would be better off without this guy he seems to have no respect for you or your friendship. I hope your friend understands and makes the right decision, if not your probably better off without a friend like that, good luck! xx
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