A
female
age
30-35,
*eeka1001
writes:Here's the deal. My boyfriend (whom I love very much and plan on spending my life with) is on the small size. And by small size...I mean a good deal below average (both in length and girth). And I realize that this probably shouldn't bother me, but it does. All of my past experience with penises (one was intercourse the others were not) have all been average or larger than. So when I feel my boyfriend, I get less arroused. What should I do?A.) I'm being shallow. Size shouldn't matter and I shouldn't worry about it. I've heard that we can only feel the first 3 inches anyway...so it should be fine. I need to just let it go. B.) I should talk to him about it. See if he would consider taking pills or something in hopes of making it larger. (How would I even go about posing this question to him!?) I don't want to make him self conscious or hurt his feelings...C.) Consider buying a sex toy that attaches and makes him larger. (I went to a Pure Romance party and they had something like that that you could buy.)D.) Other option (?)Any advice you have on the matter (especially from a guys perspective) would be great. We're not planning on having sex anytime soon, so keep that in mind. Thanks in advance!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012): First off pills don't work so your friend is full of shit, because if pills did work we guys would know it and most guys would be walking around hung like horses.
Second if you haven't had sex yet then you can't possibly know what it's going to be like, so this less aroused thing you have is more of a mental issue than it is a physical one.
Third have actually had an orgasm from intercourse before because until you know you can the size of the penis only matters in terms of feeling filled up, other than that if he can give good head then his size really shouldn't be that much of an issues.
Finally, you can't make a penis bigger except by surgery and if you tell him his penis is too small you'll probably crush him as much as if he said you were too fat or your tits are too small or saggy.
Now while we guys can't make our penises bigger you girls can make your vaginas tighter by doing kegels. I have a friend with a very small penis who is married with kids, his wife does kegels and in his words has a "vice-like grip" down there.
Advice from a guys perspective, never ever even hint at it being small. Get rid of B) and C) from your mind you should not ever even think something like that. Can you imagine if he bought you a girdle to wrap around you to hide your fat? Or chicken fillets to fill your bra with? You'd be horrified and rightly so.
Do kegels, strengthen your vagina muscles so when it comes time to having sex you can control how much friction and how tight the fit is down there and most of all OP remember most women never have orgasms through intercourse alone. So if that doesn't happen it may never happen with a penis of any size.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012): I am not in the group who says it is shallow to leave a relationship because of a small penis. We all have preferences. We need certain things to feel happy and fulfilled. Sex is definitely one of those things. If a woman dumped me because I was not big enough, I would think it was a silly reason (unless I could not please her at all), but I would consider it a favor, since I would not want to be with a woman who only thinks of sex. I wouldn't think of her as shallow, just someone who is not in tune with all the richness of love.
You have to do what is right for you.
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female
reader, beeka1001 +, writes (30 June 2012):
beeka1001 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just want to clearify that the only reason I said anything about pills was because on a question I had asked early about good positions for a small guy, a male had posted and told me that I needed to confront him about it and that he had had a girlfriend do that too him so he took pills and got larger. I never would have suggested that one my own and personally thought it was a terrible idea. I only put it on here because that male poster made it seem like I was dumb for not being upfront with my boyfriend about it.
So please lay off with the mean comments. I was only putting up the options others had suggested to me.
Thanks to the reassuring helpful comments though. It was nice to hear that I really have nothing to worry about. Thanks.
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reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (29 June 2012):
How big he gets is a function of how turned on he is, and that is seriously affected by how turned on you are. Just chill out, forget pills or mentioning anything at all to him. Just relax and have fun. Start with oral and 69 and just let things happen.
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female
reader, jinxx +, writes (28 June 2012):
 So, you've never had sex with him before... but your being less aroused is a problem for you? I don't get it!
Pills don't work, and suggesting he take some would be extremely hurtful. Let's cross that off the list.
Buy a sex toy? Well, if you aren't planning to have sex anytime soon... what would be the use of that? All you would be doing is making him feel insecure about himself, and nervous about sleeping with you, whenever you do.
We all have preferences. Some women like large penises. Some like average. Some like small. Some don't like penises at all ! If small penises aren't your preference, well, there you go. I don't think that makes you shallow. Now, if you were willing to leave him because of it... then oh yeah, you'd be shallow.
My advice is to wait until you guys have sex. You have no idea how he's going to perform in the bedroom, so I don't see how this is a problem at all.
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reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (28 June 2012):
 If you're as in love with him as you say you are, then his size would not be the slightest issue for you. Why on earth would want him to take pills that have a list of nasty side affect a mile long, and don't work, besides?
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reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 His size might matter to you, but probably won't be a problem for another girl.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Size does not matter, or better it only matters if it matters to YOU. If you feel you just can't do without a larger penis to enjoy intercourse,... alas, tastes are tastes.
But, technically speaking, as long as is not a micropenis ( below approx. 3.5 inches ERECT ) all is fine.
As a matter of fact , some women can only have orgasms through oral or manual stimulations, so for them size does not even factor in.
Anyway, an Italian proverb about the ideal penis says " non lungo che tocchi, non largo che otturi, ma duro e che duri " which means " not long enough to hit bottom, not large enough to obstruct totally , but hard, and that STAYS hard a long time ":)
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reader, curious1987  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 If i was your boy friend and you asked me to take pills i would dump you. How would you deal with it, if he made remarks about your breast size and asked you to take pills and get surgery. If you love him like you say you do, you love every thing about them. To me it sounds like you just want to control him. sorry but i'm a girl and that what it looks like to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): Depends on your definition of 'average'. If he's between 5-7 inches erect, THAT is average. Above or below are the rarities.You must be really naive to think it gets bigger with pills. Nothing other than your DNA or surgery controls how big it is when in action.Flynn 24
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