A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am 20 years old liveing with my boyfriend who is 35.Everthing was just fine until he started drinking realy bad! I have left him becasu of him hitting me on two different occasions but I took him back! About a week ago he broke my nose. I am back with my mom now, but I am still in tuch with him! He keeps saying that he is going to change! I realy love him and hope he does change! I am just don't think that he changed in a week! So do I keep giveing him time? Or just get over him and move on! Ugh need help big time!(Do I feel like he is changeing cause I wantHim to or is he realy changeing)?
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Get the hell out! Please, please listen to us. This guy could KILL you or someone close to you. Get away from him, cut off all contact and press charges against him.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 And, you are still in touch with him what for exactly ?....Fixing a convenient date for him to complete properly the job and also knock your teeth down ?...
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Oh wow. I would have pressed charges against him. It takes a LONG time for someone to truly change..you're right it's not going to happen in a week, for him it's going to be months most likely years, especially if he has a drinking problem on top of him abusing you. At 35, this is who he is an alcoholic who hits his girlfriend. That's NOT someone you want to continue dating, break it off with him. Stay with your mother before he breaks any more of your bones.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (9 December 2010):
 You can't change other people. The only person that you can change is yourself.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (9 December 2010):
 Get out of there as soon as possible.
...............................
A
female
reader, loveistheanswer +, writes (9 December 2010):
 He broke your nose???? And you're still contemplating getting back together with him????? Are you sure you have a tiny shred of self-esteem left?????
...............................
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (9 December 2010):
Furthermore if he still has a drinking problem, he's a danger to others. What if he gets drunk and tries to drive home, striking and killing someone? He has already assaulted you and I imagine that he could go to jail for that. You could be saving someone's life if you report him to the authorities for assault.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): Actions speak lounder than words. What actions is he taking which indicate some kind of change? Did he stop drinking for a month? Did he start going to counselling? Did he make changes in his life to make his life happy without needing to drink? Did he become more gentle to the people around him, less agressive?
He keeps saying that he is going to change. Why don't you stay with your mom until you can actually see changes taking place? That way you will know whether he is changing, or whether he is just saying he is changing because he wants you back.
Your actions also speak louder than words. If you go back to him, your actions say to him "its ok, if you hit me in the future, you can just say sorry and I will take you back later". If you don't go back to him until he changes, your actions say "I am not going back to you now because you aren't behaving like the person I want to be with, and I won't go back to you until you treat me how I want to be treated. If you can't give me that, I will find someone else who can."
Which person would you rather be, and which person would you rather be with?
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (9 December 2010):
He broke your nose- holy shit. He isn't a man, he's a dangerous scumbag with the temper of an immature child.
He belongs in jail, because if he runs around free he is going to seriously injure, or kill someone, someday. You should report him to the police and I hope that he goes to prison for what he did to you. It's a matter of time before he kills someone or seriously hurts someone, either deliberately or accidentally.
You deserve someone who truly loves and cherishes you. I know that it hurts to love someone who treats you so horribly, but you are going to continue to suffer if you stay with him. Taking him back is a serious mistake... it's bad enough that he broke your nose. It could be even worse next time, and there will be a next time if you take him back. He wants you back but I doubt he will change... please report this to the authorities.
Espero que haya sido de ayuda.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): He has not changed. This is a cycle that abuser do. They are so loving and then they pop. Then they are so sorry and beat themselfs up over it to the girl comes back the he "loves" her again. The cycle repeats. Please run and don't ever look back. Someone one will love you the right way, but it will never be him.
...............................
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (9 December 2010):
 He broke your NOSE? Oh my god. Who CARES if he changes. You need to cut him lose, right now.
...............................
A
female
reader, missinghim +, writes (9 December 2010):
you gave him two chances and he ruined them both i think you should give it more time cuz if you go back he may think your easy and will forgive him about everything and he could keep doing over and over again
...............................
|
