A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend of three years recently broke up with me, and then had sex with one of his best (gay male) friends.He came back to me, saying that he didn't enjoy it and that he only wants to be with me. He told me that he never really wanted to break up with me, and that he never really wanted to have sex with this guy, but I find it hard to believe.I'm not really sure what to do right now. Was he just experimenting, or curious? Does he just want to be with me again because he is afraid of appearing gay to other people?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Sweetheart your ex has finished with you and then has sex with a gay friend and yes it could have been experimenting. He now says you are the best thing since sliced bread, hmmmm strange that he didn't realise that before he broke up with you.
Don't be his testing bed for seeing if he is truly into females or males? That wouldn't be fair on you as he may well be in a situation where he needs to verify which sex he prefers i.e. women.
I would not let him get close to you right now, he has had sex with a gay man and lets be fair there is so much more promiscuity in the gay scene so he would have to have tests in triplicate for me to see before I ever let him get close to me again.
Your ex is trying to woo you back and of course you still have feelings for him, you were with him for 3 years. He is playing with your emotions right now and that just isn't fair, as RCN states, if he didn't want to break up with you then he wouldn't have done it. No one forced him to have sex with this gay friend but it happened so he must have been a willing participant.
I think your ex is so confused and needs to verify his sexuality with someone else and not use you as his testing ground.
You need to move on as I think any attempt at getting back with him would be risky for you. Your ex could be bisexual and how would you feel about that, oh sex with you and other men, hmmm not good either.
What you need is a man who is so into you and no one else, you are young and you have the world at your feet, don't go back to something because it feels comfortable or you know him, you were young when you met him and you need some other life experiences I think.
If this ex is still saying the same thing to you in 2 years time then revisit the whole situation but I think by then you would have definitely moved on and you will know which way he is going sexually but I think his sex life could well be heading towards a lot of sex with either males or females very soon and that I think is so risky for you.
Wish you well.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Lets look at this realistically. If he didn't want to break up, he wouldn't. If he didn't want to have gay sex, he wouldn't of.
He only wants to be with you. Is that true, or just until someone or something else he wants to try comes along. I'm not going to be judgmental with the boy on boy thing, I'm looking at this only as behaviors which may repeat, and his lack of respect for you in the relationship before.
I think you deserve better and should take a real hard look at what you want and what you're willing to accept before considering taking him back.
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