A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a bit of a crisis of conscience. There's a guy who I've known for a good few years who I've recently developed a bit of a thing for. He has on numerous occasions let me know that he would be interested in me physically but not necessarily in any other way. It's been a while (more than two years) since I've had sex and I'm worried this might be just a physical thing. I'm not into the idea of one night stands so much, but I'm honestly wondering whether the frustration I'm going through is more healthy. Any feedback would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice guys. You all make excellent agony aunts/uncles. :)
Just to clarify, I was under no illusions that the relationship would become any more than a physical one. I was musing over the idea of a one night stand (as I've never actually had one before) and whether it was what I wanted.
I think I've decided to leave things as they are, just being friends. Thinking about it, I don't think I'd be comfortable being such good friends with this guy after, or probably even with the act itself.
I have a feeling I'm just one of those people for which one night stands don't work. Guess I'll just have to wait for the next someone special. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): I agree that it won't go anywhere beyond physical sex if he says it won't.
This is one rare area where girls really should believe something any time that a guy says it. When it comes to getting lucky, a guy usually has every reason to lie about this and no incentives to be honest about it if there is any way to tiptoe around his true feelings.
If he is openly saying, "Physical only" then BELIEVE IT.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 He has said he is in it for the physical side only and you cannot expect him to change or think you can change his mind.
If you like the idea, then go ahead, a FWB.
If you expect more than that ,you will be terribly disappointed.
If you are looking for a serious relationship , then he is not your type.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): He is being honest with you by letting you know that he only wants you for sex. It is up to you if you can deal with that and not get emotionally attached. By the sounds of things though and the fact that you have posted on here I would say 'dont go there' as you may well get hurt and quite bad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): DoubleM's advice is great. I'd say the same thing :]
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A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Hi, It is sometimes refreshing, for someone to be very direct and honest with a person, especially a male telling a female, what this person told you. He is not playing any game, he is saying this is what I want, no more. No relationship, no committment, please don't expect anything else from me. He is putting it out there, for you to see, and to make the choice, as to whether this is enough for you. You have to respect him for that. Whether or not you decide, that a physical relationship is enough for you, comes down to what you are looking for. He could't be any clearer, now it's your turn, you may either say, thank you very much, see you later. Or you can decide to just have physical contact and continue or not, from there. That seems to be very cold, if you want my opinion, but, it's your choice. Cold showers not only work for men, I think they work for women as well. If you are not interested in just a physical relationship, then throw yourself into some activity which gets you involved, until someone comes along, who will want more and will appreciate you, and possibly love you, for the whole person that you are. It is most important that you love yourself, and believe that you deserve to be loved, as more than just a sex object. Take care of yourself and try to make the choice that will satisfy you, as who you are. Good luck always.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 March 2008):
 A relationship, especially if it includes sexual intimacy, is always much more fulfilling and rewarding when it includes love, understanding, companionship and true compassion. Anything else is just lust. I have nothing against screwing for fun, but you have to decide if you would prefer something more than that.
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