A
female
age
30-35,
*in
writes:i've got problems with my new boyfriend.first time when we meet..everything was consider okey between us.but,one day...he start to talk about sexs.everytime he text me..he always said.."i want you baby"...plss....sometimes i feel fedup with him.then,he force me to have sexs with him..but i refuse to do so.he started to mad at me..and curse me."why i'm not the first one?" he asked.because i've sleep with my ex-boyfriend before this.and my new boyfriend is a friend of my EX.surely,my boyfriend knows about past time.and i won't repeat my same mistake and sins.please...what should i do?
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 If he forced you to have sex, then he raped you.
Even if he's your boyfriend, he forced you to do it... that's the definition of rape!
Most people are not aware of this, but MOST rape victims KNOW their attacker. Everyone hears the word "rape" and pictures someone being dragged into a dark alley by a stranger (of course you should stay the hell away from dark alleys). This isn't always the case. Rape is rape whether you know the guy or not.
He sounds like he hates women! He's abusive and cruel. It's none of his damn business who you slept with and he has no right to force you to do stuff you don't wanna do. You don't owe him anything!
I say leave him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Every sexual encounter is different for 100 reasons, but the one thing they all have in common is consent. Rape is not just done by a stranger, it can be done by a spouse too. It doent matter. if this boy is trying to force you with guilt and pressure now, it will only be a matter of time before he physically forces you. Don't set yourself up for that.
He also sounds like maybe he has a real issue with women. he doesnt respect women for some reason. To me it seemed like your decisions were not as imporatnt as his, and that maybe he views you as inferior to him. He sounds like a rapist in the making. Don't let yourself be his first target.
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A
female
reader, lonesum dove  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 I am going to keep this short and sweet if he is forcing himself on you or abusing you in any way, girl het the heck out now, it will only get worst you are you and dont let anyone force you to do anything you dont want to this situation is leading down a road to distruction
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A
female
reader, huffygirl88 +, writes (2 April 2010):
I dont know if this will help but here it goes you should eatheir break up with him. Or you can stay with him and tell him if you ask one more ttime we will never have sex. From huffygirl88
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Hun, the minute you consider him "forcing" you to have sex is RAPE
leave him, even report him to the police if you want, but please LEAVE him and find someone who is understanding and won't force you to have sex with them 3
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 This guy sounds dangerous. You don't wanna sleep with him and that's fair enough, and it's none of his business who you've slept with. It's like he's being selfish. He wants you only to have sex with him, and be willing to do it at any time. That's not respect. He sounds like the guy who would even physically force you into sex, and that's rape. Get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Leave this boy, he is a child and he shows you no respect. He dosen't listen when you say no, and wants to force you into sex. Leave him, he is not a good man.
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A
male
reader, luter1  +, writes (2 April 2010):
 a friend of your EX, in the majority cases that's not good.But well answering your problem IMO i think that you should tell him, that he is special, and you don't want to force things.It's normal, even if you had sex befor with your EX.If he understands from your words that he is a special person for you he will wait for the right moment and wont speed up.
hope i've helped good luck
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (2 April 2010):
 Sorry to say this, he doesnt love you and you should leave him. You should NEVER have sex unless its what you both want, if its forced then it can be consituted as rape.
Do yourself a favour and find a boyfriend who loves and appreciates you more.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
Your boyfriend has problems and you need to leave him. Good for you for refusing to have sex just because he wants it. I think he's using you for sex, and I think you can do better than that.
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