A
female
age
36-40,
*a petite belle
writes:Hi all, Thank you for taking the time to read. I have a huge question. I am 29 yrs old, I have a finance degree, I live in a pretty good state (UTAH, USA), the economy is booming, the state is clean, safe. I rent a pretty cool apartment, I have a luxury car, I am pretty good shape but I cannot find friends (they are either mormon, I am catholic, or they are too busy, or they are married, or they are in a relationship, or thye have kids or they simply don't follow through). I ended a relationship about 6 months ago because he cheated, I cannot for the life of me find a good catholic man, and 80% of the decent guys here are mormon (which I am not ever going to convert). I keep dreaming of moving to Miami but I feel like the only things that keep me from moving are the economy (I can afford to live in a pretty nice area, have a luxury car, pay for a personal trainer at the gym and MY JOB! I FREAKING love my job, the company, the benefits, my boss but on a personal level I am frustrated!!!!!) what do you guys think? move to a big city or???what????
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (28 June 2017):
Thanks for the additional information! Knowing that little bit more, I now support your move. After being born, growing up and finishing school in Montana, I immediately moved to the bright lights and big city of Los Angeles. It's turned out to be terrific. Life here is very exciting and rewarding. You can always move back to Utah. Your friends are right...you may not be able to realize your dream once you become established at home. I'm excited for you!
Coincidentally, I have a friend in Salt Lake City who is splitting up with her husband. They moved there two years ago (from LA) and have never felt like they fit in with that culture. She is non-Mormon and wrote me last week that she still hopes to "find my tribe." So you aren't the only one in your predicament.
A
female
reader, la petite belle +, writes (27 June 2017):
la petite belle is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi all, I have been to Florida almost every summer for the past 5 years (wedding, music festival, vacations, reunion). I love the weather, I love the sun, I feel happy when there is a lot of sun... I also like the hispanic culture. Everyone does tell me the traffic sucks, the job market lags, the rent is insane, the pay is mediocre (though, they admit, here and there you can find a decent paying job)... I do like the mountains here but you can only go alone on trails before you start feeling like a loser for not having at least 1 friend that can coincide to hang out with... In terms of Miami, I mostly know the touristy areas and my ex showed me a bit of his old neighborhood about 45 mins inland from Miami...I wouldn't be moving today or even quarter, if I move it would have to be next year but my job is the only thing that prevents me... I feel like it is a huge gamble and yet some other friends tell me "if you want to move, do it now that you don't have an established career yet, that you don't have kids or a boyfriend or a house payment because once you have one of those, the "desire" will just be a wish"...
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (27 June 2017):
I'm a big proponent of having various chapters in your life and moving is a great way to do so. How much time have you spent in Miami? Why there? Having always lived around mountains, I don't care for the flat horizons in Florida. And it is awfully hot and humid for someone who grew up in Utah. And Utah is a pretty nice place.
I'd spend at least a few vacations there before making the move. Check it out next month, in August, and see if you can take the summer heat. If you didn't have a job I'd say yes. But it is nearly impossible to find a job you "freaking love" any place. So you'll likely be giving that up if you do move.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2017): Why not look at getting a job somewhere else in Florida that is more economically feasible for your budget, and take long weekends in Miami on occasion? There are lots of good size cities in that state that may interest you. They tend to be a bit more costly on the Atlantic coast than the Gulf coast, but I bet you could do some research and find a ton of jobs you would qualify for either way. With your finance degree there are a lot of positions that would pay you more in a more expensive location also. Once you get a good job offer, then move. I think you would find it very liberating to get out of Utah and see what another state of the union has to offer. I have done this myself twice now and I am so glad I did. I met new people, tried new foods and activities, experienced new landscapes, etc. I highly recommend it.Take the plunge!R
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 June 2017):
 Why not stick it out a year more? Save up as much as you can and don't MOVE till you have another job lined up.
Also are you a practicing Catholic? If so maybe you can find time to volunteer at your church and meet more people?
Moving to a bigger city isn't always a better idea or worse. I grew up in a 25,000 pop town and moved to London and when I got back I moved to Copenhagen (which by American standards is "tiny" with 2 1/2 million people) the ADVANTAGE for me was that I could find GOOD and affordable living there and really didn't NEED a car to get around. (though I kept mine, which looking back I kind of regret as I wasted SO much money on that thing lol)
How well do you know Miami? Is that really the only option? Why not New York? Boston? Austin? Just to toss out a few.
Sometimes I think a big change is good, sometimes it's not.
Are you a planner? Is your job something you can do ANYWHERE?
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A
female
reader, la petite belle +, writes (26 June 2017):
la petite belle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbtw, I do not mean to come off as a show off, all I am trying to say is that currently I can afford to live pretty well off in this place but I am sooooo lonely and frustrated when Im out of work... Miami is my dream place but everyone that has lived there tells me it's one of the most expensive cities in the US to live where over 60% of a paycheck goes towards rent only
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