A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago - his reason being that he needs to "find himself". He hasn't been himself for the past 6 months - he's been confused about his feelings, his career path, etc and feels that he is no longer growing. He says it's not me, but he just needs to be alone to sort everything out. We live together, but he bought me a very expensive flight home for Christmas. Nothing with our apartment is sorted out yet, and we'll both be back there in a week. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Sounds like he is being honest. It will probably be hard, but move out, give him his space, and don't be vindictive. If you both love each other, and it sounds like he does since he is being so honest, I suspect you will both remain close...space can be the best thing for a relationship.
A
male
reader, lawyerbait  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 I wouldn't hold your breath. He's obviously got some growing up to do, and if someone needs their space, give it to them. You might want to look at getting your own place. Whenever I've been in a position where someone wanted more freedom (to date other people), I've given it to them - no sense in giving them more than one chance with the best (me!)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Well, it sounds like his journey of self discovery isn't motivated by a desire to chase tail. That's good because he may legitimately be trying to figure that stuff out.
Give him some space. Try and discuss what he hopes to figure out if possible. That way you can decide if you want to wait this out or not.
You said he hasn't been himself for some time now. Maybe he can get back to being himself if he gets the space he's requesting, but with something like this there are never any certainties.
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