A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have just started seeing this guy, we have been out a few times however everytime he goes to touch me I always find my self pulling away, I have a big issue with the way I look, I'm not overweight but I am no oil painting either, just a normal female but because this is my first boyfriend I was just wondering how I can become more relaxed and comfortable, he has suggested giving me a massage but I am to uneasy with the way I look and a little worried incase he tries to take hings further, I know I have to get a grip but I'm not sure how to. Any ideas?
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (15 August 2008):
 What are you worried about? If a guy wants to touch you, it's obvious that he likes the way you look! so you shouldn't be nervous and you should realise that there's so much more to like about yourself than you think there is. You just have to think positively. Tell yourself that there's somebody who wants to be close to you and loves looking at you and wants to touch you because they think you're amazing and beautiful. This should help you to realise how wonderful you look :)
As for a massage... i think it'll be a good way for you to realise how good you look because he wants to touch you. and if you're really that worried tell him you're a bit self-conscious and he'll be more considerate of your feelings. And if you're not ready to take things too far, just simply tell him so and that you'd like to take things slow :) communication is the key to a good relationship, especially when it comes to first experiences.
good luck x
A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (15 August 2008):
 Don't beat yourself up about your body. Nobody is an oil painting; but there is more to a person than their appearance though isn't there?
The fact that he suggested giving you a massage means he clearly isn't repulsed by your body. Talking as a man -- and as shallow as it is -- no man would offer any woman a massage if he didn't want to have physical contact with them.
I have to say though that you don't sound like you are both going out together; even though you describe him as your boyfriend.
Why do you pull away from him when he goes to touch you? Why are you worried if he wants to take things further? Do you not want him to take things further?
Is it solely down to your opinion of your body? If it is, then you shouldn't be worried.
In any case, take everything slow if you're uncomfortable or nervous. Tell him he is your first boyfriend. Cliche alert, but if he really cares for you he will understand and will be happy to go at your pace.
There ain't no rush.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (15 August 2008):
 I was in the same situation as you are few years ago. Well, i think your problem can be saved with the time. Obviously you don't feel enough comfortable and relaxed when you're more close to him. It would help if you two slow down those intiminate touches and first try to know each other better. When he says to you you're beautiful, sexy or whatever.. try to beleive him. Don't think he's lying. He probably wouldn't be with you if he doesn't like your visual look. A lot of guys don't like too much thiny girls, because they're not so good to touch and they don't have so much woman's body. Tell him you like him, but you also need time to be more intiminate and relaxed, because he's your first boyfriend. If he really likes you he would wait few weeks. And then will things works much better, beleive me. Try to enjoy your fresh love. Good luck.
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