A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a wonderful boyfriend (we have been together for almost a year now.) Our sex life is pretty great except for one thing... I get upset because he doesn't take my top off during sex and doesn't pay attention to my boobs. I admit that i am small busted ( 34-b ) I'm tall and thin, he calls me beautiful... I truly believe that he loves me. Maybe I am making this a big deal when it really isn't. I wish ( in his defense ) that I can say that he was more of an "ass" or "legs" guy or whatever...But, I overheard him talking to his son (quietly) one day and mentioned liking someones awesome big boobs... It hurt my feelings. I know I wasn't supposed to hear that. So I know he likes them big and I don't have that to offer to him... During sex, a couple of times, I tried to put his hands on them ( as a hint that I like that) He didn't catch on or just isn't interested... I just feel so sad, especially when we are watching tv or a movie and see women looking so well proportioned and I'm not even close to that. Am I crazy for feeling this way?? I have push-up bras and low cut tops...I have tried everything... would never get surgery. idk... needing some advise here :( Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 February 2012):
 “I am feeling very embarassed having to bring up this subject with him.”
You should never feel embarrassed to discuss something with your sexual partner… if you are then that may indicate that there are problems in the relationship… I mean you sleep with this man and have the most intimate of relationships with him you should be able to talk about them too.
“ I just feel that if he desires me in every way, he will show me on his own, not by me having to tell him.”
And he can READ your mind and know what is important to you because he has super powers?? I’ve learned in my many years that as MUCH as we want them to KNOW what we want, what we need, what we think and what we dream; we can’t expect them to without TELLING THEM. HINTS are not enough either.. We have to be blatant.
Sometimes for me if it’s a topic I don’t feel like broaching face to face I’ll send an email as an opener… “hey baby we need to talk about something tonight” then he will be curious and it’s easier to get started.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (17 February 2012):
''I just feel that if he desires me in every way, he will show me on his own, not by me having to tell him''
Ummm nope...you got to ask him because your way isn't working and it's making you unhappy...seriously believe me when I say 'men need to be told what you want'...because they arn't mind readers.
Tell him whats bugging you or you are just going to feel worse.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (17 February 2012):
34b sounds just great. I just don't get the big boob fettish. Even after the ravages of time and quite a few children my wife's 34a's are still pert and alluring. 36dd's would be sagging round her waist by now! I think its time you just take your top off, maybe whilst you are on top of him, and just tell him what you like. Men can be a bit slow to catch on but hopefully the positive feedback of what you like will give him a hint!! If its warm enough try wearing a skimpy vest with no bra, actually might be better if its cold as your nipples will be harder. If that doesn't get his attention then come back for more help from us! !! Be proud of you, small breasts are absolutely beautiful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for your good advise :) I am feeling very embarassed having to bring up this subject with him. I just feel that if he desires me in every way, he will show me on his own, not by me having to tell him.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I'm guessing that this guy is about 12 or 13 years old... since the behaviour you've described is typical of that age.....
That said, are you aware that your having sex with a 12-year-old constitutes rape?????
Ooooops.... you say that he's older than that? Then you have to decide if you want to date an older guy who acts like a much-younger guy!!!!
Good luck...
P.S. Slender women with modest breasts are the BOMB!!! ...and THAT's the truth!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I agree with Auntie Em:
**Most men like what they haven't got...that's why they never stop looking.*
I think if he wanted big boobs, he would have gone for a girl with.. BIG boobs.
Why don't YOU take your top of during sex? Maybe SHOW him how you like them touched? Trust me, if you do that he'll forget about those DDD's he saw that other day...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 February 2012):
have you TOLD him you want breast play? or do you think putting his hands on your breasts is enough
how about you take off your top and bra and you go up to him while he's sitting down and put them in his face? THEN you say... here's a new playground for you.. I would really like it if you would.... (add the type of breast play you would like)
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A
male
reader, oman +, writes (16 February 2012):
Maby he is not a boob man? Just talk to him about if it annoys you that much, the best thing you can do for a relationship is to talk to each other.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Hey! Head up. Ill be truthfully honest here. I prefer bigger breasts on a woman yet if i see a woman who has nice ones that go with the figure she has i still go wild. I dated a girl for over 5 and a half years with ur same size. For myself she would get pissed sometimes cause id touch them all the time. Anyway yes your hurt feelings are valid. He doesnt give u feedback about ur boobs and his comments about other women make u insecure. Confront him about that and tell him how you feel. Also ask him if he likes your breasts and then tell him what he could do to show u that he likes him. Haha i have my own list on how i show women that but he needs to communicate better and make u feel.more desired.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Well I've never really placed much emphasis on breasts, whether large or small, but guys are all different regarding such. My wives happened to be well endowed, but that was not at all my reason for marrying. Many girlfriends were smaller with perky nipples, and I loved that maybe even more than big flabby ones. I think it matters very little, at least to me.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (16 February 2012):
Most men like what they haven't got...thats why they never stop looking.
To be honest you have a great relationship and he must make you feel loved in other ways or you wouldn't be with him. We can't always have what we want so you need to decide if you are going to let it go for the sake of your relationship or find someone else who loves your boobs!!
If you do find someone who loves them, he might be lacking in some of the things your current boyfriend does for you now.
It's all a gamble, no relationship is perfect and there are much more important things to upset yourself over. You should just ask him to caress your boobs during sex because some men need to be told directly or they don't get it. I am pretty sure he isn't worried about what size you are, if he was unhappy he'd date someone else.
Try asking him directly if it really bugs you, see what he says.
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A
male
reader, eek +, writes (16 February 2012):
 if you want him to pay more attention to your breasts tell him. Next time your in bed say "Oho i would really love it if you would suck on my nipples" or ask him to rub your breasts. If you are open and tell him what you like you might be able to get him to do it.
Also there is nothing wrong with 34-b breasts in my opinion. Be proud of what you have you sound like an extremely beautiful woman.
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A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (16 February 2012):
Please! Don't ever get surgery!I think you are over reacting . You say you are thin and tall, and by what you say about your man, he likes your "ass" . I think he really likes you how you are. Yes, big breasts might call his attention, and it is actually a very common subject among men. What you heard him talking with his son is more like a bonding event, not something against small breasted girls.Actually, all of my life I fell for very small chested girls [I still do]. I can't describe why, but I like girls like that. When I met my gf, she was tall, skinny, and I thought she was small breasted. To my inconvenience, it turns out she haves larger breasts than what I thought. She told me that she always tried to hide her breasts because she hates men staring at her [and she did a good job at it].When we get intimate, most of the time I tend to forget her breasts, and just focus on her large "ass" and sexy legs.You could try asking him directly [not giving him hints] to touch breasts. Let him know that you like when he touches them. You could also confront him and ask him why don't he touches your breasts.I can bet you that he doesn't care about how big your breasts are. I think he is more into what who you are.
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A
male
reader, honestman +, writes (16 February 2012):
Please! Don't ever get surgery!
I think you are over reacting .
You say you are thin and tall, and by what you say about your man, he likes your "ass" . I think he really likes you how you are. Yes, big breasts might call his attention, and it is actually a very common subject among men. What you heard him talking with his son is more like a bonding event, not something against small breasted girls.
Actually, all of my life I fell for very small chested girls [I still do]. I can't describe why, but I like girls like that. When I met my gf, she was tall, skinny, and I thought she was small breasted. To my inconvenience, it turns out she haves larger breasts than what I thought. She told me that she always tried to hide her breasts because she hates men staring at her [and she did a good job at it].
When we get intimate, most of the time I tend to forget her breasts, and just focus on her large "ass" and sexy legs.
You could try asking him directly [not giving him hints] to touch breasts. Let him know that you like when he touches them. You could also confront him and ask him why don't he touches your breasts.
I can bet you that he doesn't care about how big your breasts are. I think he is more into what who you are.
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A
female
reader, dr.2.be +, writes (16 February 2012):
 I am built just like you, kind of tall, thin and my I have a 32B. I feel self concious about it sometimes, and my fellow collegues joke around with me on how tiny my chest is, how it looks like im still in training bras, etc. I just laugh. But I can proudly say that I like my small chest. I have learned to embrace it because it is part of my body.Men I have dated have commented on how they like larger breasts of a woman walking by. I have dated a guy who had the audacity to tell me I would be hotter if I got myself implants. but it doesnt faze me. I just think about how my chest will still be perky when im older whereas those DD's he likes so much will more likely succumb to the effects of gravity. On the contrast, my most recent man loved my tiny boobies and loved how perky they were.Don't let him get to you. Everybody has body parts that they are attracted to, but are not necessarily requirements in a partner. Boobs are not everything to the right guy. Your personality, your shared interests, other body parts and the memories you have together can carry much more weight than a pair of mammary glands. If he really loves you like you say, he is likely not fazed that your boobs are smaller than average. He was probably just having "guys talk" with his son. To address the issue reguarding the lack of fondling during sex, just mention to him how you want your boobs touched. Most likely he may not be aware that you like it. Some men can be oblivious to other body parts when doing the deed. Just show that confidence you have deep inside, as a confident woman can be very attractive reguardless of chest size. And most of all embrace and learn to love your body parts like I did!
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (16 February 2012):
 No offense, but your situation sounds weird. So he never takes your top off, touches your boobs, or gets to the nipples? That's very unusual, even if he has a preference for big tits. There are plenty of men who like big breasts that end up in a relationship with medium and small sized breasts, but I have never heard of anyone ignoring them. The only thing you can do is to TELL him it's bothering you and what you want sexually. I don't understand why you haven't brought this up already. If he still behaves the same way after the conversation, it's best to just move on before it starts to affect your confidence or you develop a complex.
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