A
female
age
30-35,
*b217
writes:so im 19 and am almost 7 weeks pregnant. i haven't told my parents yet and im just looking for some advise on how to tell them and what i should say, and also how to ask my mother to stop smoking since i do still live at home, therefore being exposed to second hand smoke while pregnant. thanks for your time! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): firstly you need to decide what you are doing. it sounds as if you have decided to keep it, so you need to decide how you are going to support your baby. I dont think you have any right to mention to ask your mother to stop smoking, it would be presumptious to even expect her to stop. it will ultimately be your parents who make sacrifices because of your pregnancy and actions, and it is their house. you cant expect them to fit in around you. good luck.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Hi
your mum might have guessed but you dont want to wait for that Just tell mum alone its hard for dads to hear. let her know your keeping the baby and you hope to still live at home.She will want to know who the dad is too. As for not smoking leave till later when the shocks worn off it is your parents house and their rules
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Before you tell them come up with a plan. Fast. What is your plan at the moment? Here are some questions your parents probably will ask, which you should have the answers to before you talk to them:
Are you keeping the child? Will you abort or put it up for adoption if you are not keeping it?
How will you support yourself financially?
Where will you live? (don't count on living at home, you have no right to force your mom to quit smoking, if she doesn't want to you'll just have to move. So have possible moving out plans ready, and also when it is possible for you to move out and where you might be moving to, and how you will finance it.)
Who is the father, what does he do, and how will he be contributing to the child-care? Do you plan to live with him, or is he out of the picture, or are you getting him to pay child-support, and how financially well off is he?
Will you continue in school or get a job and finish any education at a later point in life (if at all)?
Find out the answer to ALL of these questions. Then talk to your parents. You have no right to ask your mother to quit smoking. You can ask, but you can not demand that she quits. You however do have the right to remove yourself from the smoke by moving out, or simply leaving the room when she smokes. You're the one who needs to adjust here though, not everyone else.
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A
female
reader, MistressNataliee +, writes (27 March 2012):
The first 12 weeks of a pregnancy is when you are most prone to miscarriage. Personally, I would wait until I was after this mark before I told anyone, especially my mum.
The other answers have been really helpful but I thought I would include the above information.
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A
female
reader, Echo85 +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Sit them down and tell them calmly, make sure you have worked out your future so can answer the obvious questions such as "Are you keeping it? How will you look after it? Will the father be involved?" Don't let it turn into a shouting match. If they want to argue calmly tell them that you are going for a walk and that the should ring you when they have calmed down.
Not sure you can ask her to stop smoking, the news you are pregnant this young will probably stress her out a little, so i suggest you let her come to that herself and in a few weeks if she doesn't then bring it up.
Good luck hun x
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 You just have to be honest and upfront with your mother. It with probably be one of the hardest things you will do, but I am sure that your mother will support you. Tell her you have something important to tell her, and don't beat around the bush. It would help if you have a solid plan on how you are going to take care of this child (emotionally, physically, and financially).
On to the second part of your question. The decision to quit smoking is entirely a decision that is your mother's to make. Though I am not a smoker, I don't think that you have a right to ask your mother to quit smoking. The way I look at it, you are an adult, making adult decisions (having a child out of wedlock) and have to right to find a new place to live for you and your unborn child. You are living if "her house." If your mother chooses to quit smoking for you and her grandchild, good for her, but you should not expect her to change.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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