A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known this girl for over a year and a half now... The first year I knew her she had a boyfriend, she broke up with him over 6months ago now. When they broke up I had broken up with a girl I was seeing at the same time... So we ended up hanging out a lot more. We have always had a thing for each other, even when were both with other people... I know this because we have had talks about it. It's been very confusing and hard times lately... We are really good friends and we both want to be with each other, I tell her I love her she says it back but the hardest thing is that my best friend loves her too... I love this girl, I love my friend. I have to make a decision and it kills me to think of what I would be doing to my best friend if I were to be with her. And it kills me to think about losing her.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 March 2011):
Hi there. This girl you like can really date both of you, I guess (separately, of course). There's no law stating that you can't be dating more than person. At least until you decide which person is the better match for you, and you then would like to become exclusive with each other.I really think that you ought to have a chat to your mate and let him know that you are also interested in the same girl, and see what he says.Ultimately, it's not really up to either of you really. It's up to her, as to who she chooses to go out with or NOT go out with.Perhaps you could distance yourself from all this for a little while, and just see how things pan out.Another thing you could also do is to talk to this girl you both like - just the 2 of you - and see how she feels about dating both of you. You and her, both need to be on the same page about how you feel.Then after some discussion with her and your friend also, then decide where you go to from here on in.The thing is, neither you nor your best mate has any more right than the other to go out with this lady.Actually, the decision is hers only.Why don't you ask her out for coffee one day, and take the opportunity to have a talk to her about everything, and also let her know that your best mate is also very interested in her. See what she says, and go from there.Only time will tell, what is meant to be.Take care and best wishes.
A
male
reader, Boy Blue  +, writes (12 March 2011):
If she wants to be with you and you want to be with her your best friend should understand eventually. Be there to support him or give him his space if he needs it. I know it is heart breaking but not making a choice is far worse. I think you should go for it with her.Take some time for yourself and compile your thoughts and feelings. Make a definite decision and make it happen. Accept the possible bad outcomes and realize that these things do happen and it isn't easy at all. Most things in life are never easy. No regrets. Good luck.
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