A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I dumped my GF last year and we were on and off since then. I told her i would consider getting back with her if she lost weight she is a size 14-16 but good looking i must say, I prefer size 12.I just dumped her again recently and she's angry with me because of the way I did it. The reason i dumped her is because i just felt annoyed because things are more on her terms now whereas before i had more control.I couldnt be bothered to go and see her so after i left her place a few weeks ago i just ignored her and hoped she'd get the message. She keeps phoning me and asking why i suddenly ignored her (we were together for 6 yrs). I refuse to meet with her but she wont get the message. How can i get the message across. I told her never to phone me again but she phoned up the other day. She said we should at least meet so we can discuss what happened and part on good terms. Any advice or ideas? She was crying and upset and she has not been well and she told me this but i just think its emotional blackmail. I have the right to decide i want nothing more to do with her dont i? Ive done this a few times then decided to go back to her so maybe shes confused. Should i tell her why i just decided to ignore her? I dont really know why I did it I just got in a bad mood. Anyway she's always there for me so I know she'd take me back if i really wanted but in the meantime, what do i do about this.I dont have any friends to talk to and my sisters pretty much ignore me. I am 50 years old. Cheers
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emotional blackmail, ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kissxmexagainx  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 guys like you disgust me. I wouldn't be friends with a superficial jerk either. && you're 50?? grow up! your ex needs to realize that she's better off without you && can do way better.
it's guys like you that make girls feel bad about their body type && develop eating disorders. you should be ashamed of yourself.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Firstly I have noticed no men have commentened on your post yet so I though I would be the first to give you a males oppinion... You are a twat! Are you honestly 50? Really?
Mate you need to get over yourself, is this post just a wind up to get everybody angry or do you actually want help?
My advise is to leave this lady well alone you have upset her enough and you can't keep using her to help your tiny ego (penis) Move on let her do the same and please learn by your mistakes, it's people like you that get us Men a bad name (not that many people here would classify you as a man, more of an Oxygen thief)
There is no surprise you have no friends and your sisters won't talk to you, have you considered that this is because you are a self centred wanker? I really think you need to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about other people, then you might start to become a nice person and get some friends who can help you interact with the opposite sex.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (9 April 2009):
 While most of the people on here have focused on your idiotic, shallow criticism for her dress size I noticed something else in your post. You said that the reason you dont want to be with her now is that the relationship has been more on her terms lately rather than you having control over it. This is so serously dysfunctional, rude, immature and franly abusive that if your girlfriend were to write to dearcupid I would tell her to run from you like her pant were on fire. Then, after 6 years together, you felt that the proper way to break up was to just ignore her and hope she got the idea? Again, immature, passive aggresive, abusive, selfish and just plain mean. You are a horrible person who doesnt deserve to have a woman in his live ~EVER. You owe this woman a proper goodbye. If you dont want to see her in person, fine. But give her a call, send her a letter, hire a skywriter, something! You must actually break up with her and then I sincerly hope you never contact her again.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (9 April 2009):
 I cant believe you have been with this woman for over 6 years and would leave her over something so superficial as her dress size! Going from a size 12 to a size 14-16 isnt even that much of a weight gain, you should love her no matter what her size!
I think that beacause you have broken up with her before, she doesnt believe that this is over for good. I suggest you do meet up with her and then explain that it is over for good, and that you dont think it would be a good idea to stay friends because you need to move on (and she does too). If you say it to her face, looking into her eyes then she may realise that you are being serious this time and then she might leave you alone.
I'm not suprised that you dont have any family or friends that want anything to do with you if you behave this way, you need to spend some time alone really looking at yourself and the way you treat other people. At the moment it seems you are shallow, selfish and lazy with no idea of what it is to be a real man. Dont go back to this woman ever again - after you see her for the final time and explain yourself to her, then delete her number and stay away from her. She deserves better than you - she has wasted enough time on you already.
I hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 April 2009):
 I can see why you have no friends and your sisters ignore you. I hope you enjoy solitude, I have a feeling you are going to get plenty of it.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (9 April 2009):
 You seriously need to grow up dumpning someone because there not the size you like!? Thats possibly the shallowest thing ih ave ever heard i would expect that from a teenager not an adult.
You need to answer your phone meet up with her and have a serious talk with her, why hurt her when she does not know why!
You need to really grow up and i serioulsy would not consider dating again untill you do!
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A
female
reader, psychologystar +, writes (9 April 2009):
Wow, your behaviour is disgusting. I'm surprised she's even bothering with you. First of all, commenting on her appearance like that. WTF?! Why the hell should she change how she looks for someone who treats her the way you do?
You know what, I just reread your problem and I actually don't want to offer you any advice except tell her it's over for good and leave her alone.
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A
female
reader, mariaxx +, writes (9 April 2009):
i don't know whether you realise but you come across as extremely emotionaly immature, i'm not surprised your ex g/f is so upset how you've treated her is dispicable.Suggest you read up on what a relationship is supposed to be about and go from there.I would recommend you leave this poor woman alone to get on with her life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): yes you do but you should just straight out and tell herstop being such an arse to her and be a man and tell her you just don't want to see her!no wonder your sisters don't talk to you you don't know how to treat a woman you want the perfect person and you won't get anywhere with the personality you have.so don't ignore her to get the message be a man and straight outright and tell her it's not working and that you want different things.so yeah you are being way too harsh on her.she#s probably not emotionally blackmailing you she probably is just sick to death of you pulling her along by a string.do her a favour don't go back to her and have what you want and go she CLEARLY deserves better than that!so just tell her straight.you're not helping yourself or her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): you're horrible! her size shouldn't have mattered to you. meet up with her and tell her it's over for good and she deserves much better...which is TRUE!!! Then leave her alone coz you just sound like a head ****
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