A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am having a massive life crisis, and seem stuck in a rut I don’t know I want to be in.I have been with my husband for eight years, we have two children together and he has a child from a previous marriage.His other child lives 3 hours away and he goes down to stay with them every other weekend, so we as a family only get to see him on the other weekend and he decides that seeing his friends and watching football is better than spending it with his two young children. He is always in a bad mood. When he comes in from work he has his tea and falls asleep on the sofa. We never go out anywhere, I am at home all week with the children as I don’t work as we can’t afford the child care. Yet he never takes us away as a family on the days we have together, it is always the same thing day in day out, yet when he is in with his other child he goes out for walks and does nice things. Its like I am a single parent with out the father having his children. I have given up everything to be with him, a career in Nursing, any holidays, we have never been on one, We have his child from a previous marriage for half the holidays, yet he takes no holidays to be with her, it is down to me to look after her! I feel so alone even though I have two beautiful children and wonderful friends.I don’t even think I love him anymore.Please please help me. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, your answers are much appreciated, and have given me food for thought.
A
female
reader, LittleMissy +, writes (20 March 2011):
He probably feels more guilty about his daughter since he does not live with her, i guess he wants to make it upto her. Talk to him, it sounds like you resent his daughter which is not fair at all, she will always be his daughter, his first born, and she will always need her Dad, and seeing your Dad every other weekend is nothing when your young, trust me. Why don't you try include his daughter in the family, bring her up some weekends rather than him going there, and all spend time together.
...............................
A
female
reader, Full moon temptress1 +, writes (20 March 2011):
It sounds like he takes you for granted,why don't you shake that up abit.If you are dependant on his money he will no doubt call the shots.If he is at home in the evenings why not get an evening job,just a couple of evenings a week.It will get you out of the house,and it may enable you to meet new people.That may give you abit more power in the relationship.Tell him how unhappy you are and things need to change.
when he goes and visits his other child suggest he takes either or both of your children along sometimes after all they are half sisters/brothers.
Its time for you to take control of your life because you do count in all of this.
If all this fails maybe you should think about leaving him particulary if you don't think you love him,it is not fair on you or your children to live this exsistance.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 Tell him both his families need equal time and attention. That you are unhappy and have been thinking of leaving him if things don't change. Give him a chance to turn things around but in the meantime go back to work. Not only will it help you feel like you have a life outside the home and ease the depression, but you will not totally dependent on his salary should you choose to leave. It shows him you mean business. Always make decision from a place of strength, not weakness. Some men refuse to change as long as they think they have you trapped by love and/or money.
...............................
A
female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (20 March 2011):
You did not mention if you and the father of the children are married. If not, I'd suggest leaving this scenario. Life is too short for this kind of "neglect". You mentioned a career in nursing, and other things you gave up for this man. Now you need to think of yourself and your two children and try to make your lives more pleasant. You will have no choice other than to get a job, which will broaden your life being around others. But, there are many avenues to explore for a brighter future than the course you are now on. Maybe you can get back ino your nursing career. There is a great shortage of nurses. Good luck.
...............................
|
