A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Beautiful with a small chest...is that a problem? Just asking because...I recently found out that my boyfriend of pretty much 4 years and the father of my child has a big breast porn fetish that he has been hiding for some time. When I leave, he jumps on the computer and looks at huge breasts fetish websites. In fact, he even lys about it and covers up his tracks. When I found out about it, he told me that he prefers very large breasts. Well...I was devastated because I have a small chest (like a small B, but fit). I have always been very confident, but this new info has made me pull away from him and feel uncomfortable when he touches me. I feel inadequate to him as a woman and I just can't seem to get by it. I know it is silly to allow my confidence to erode, but I the fact that I am not his ideal body type is ruining my sexual desire for him, it makes me so withdrawn.I feel like I want to break up with him, because I don't want breast implants, I really do like my body, but I can't seem to muster up my confidence the way it used to be which makes me shy in bed with him. That is not something I want. I have felt so sick to my stomach over his lying and covering this up that I have not even been able to eat. It humiliated me that he hid his fetish.Before him, all the men I dated loved my body and loved my breasts. He hardly pays any attention to them at all. I know there is a man out there who would appreciate and love what I've got and the person I am.I'm so devastated by this information. What should I do?
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breasts, confidence, porn, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2009): The equations of your situation:
You + him and his big boobs fetish = :(
You + a guy who will appreciate/love/desire YOU completely and no one else (or nothing else ...) = :)
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Tell him it's the big boobs or you. If he continues with the big boobs- then it is clear he's made his decision. Dump him and it will be hard and you will be sad in the short term but then you can move on to a better guy for you and be happy in the long term. Or stay with him and suffer being sad inside forever.
Think about it like this...
It's like an incredibly hard maths question in a maths exam.
Deep down, you have a feeling about the right formula for solving the problem. But you really, REALLY don't want to go through the painful process of working through this tiresome, tedious, terrible formula.
The longer you delay your suffering, the more time ticks by with you sitting trapped at your desk in the examination room- feeling troubled, unhappy and getting nowhere. You must be strong and work through the formula to solve the problem. You must do it before it's too late and the exam's finished and you have to turn your paper in and then there's no chance of a re-sit and you're stuck with a fail grade for life.
Don't go for a Fail.
Go for an Excellence. ;)
A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Everyone has certain preferences eg generally speaking men have a liking for 'pin up' type girls like those in playboy etc its a look that we are hard wired to recognise, it has a lot to do with our primeval past where for the purposes of survival certain body shapes like large breasts were a visual indicator of a potential reproductive partner and so big breast could indicate at a simplistic primitive level a possible fertile reproduction partner which is what was needed in an unforgiving and harsh environment. So in some ways we have been designed to notice such things, this also explains why some men unconsciously look at other women when they are with their partners and only realise what they are doing when it has been brought to their attention (usually by a swift kick). In the same way he may have big feet and short legs both of which you may not like but it doesn't stop you from falling in love with the whole package.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Big breasts are gross. I love a nice small, tight chest on a hot girl. Dump the loser and get with a guy who likes what you have.
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A
male
reader, Wreck +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Man .... I know im young and you might think whats 17 year old know about marriage?? ... but the thing is thats how guys are you know like I mean my girl freind right now at this moment is skinny has a nice curve and does not have big breast... , but I still think shes beautiful in every way... , BUt at home I sometimes look at porn and ill look up blonde girls dont ask why .. idk why , I just find them attractive ... and guess what my girl freind is not blonde. Its his thing and it would be better let him know maybe he should keep that away from you in his own little corner talk to him about it you know. It does not mean he does not like you for who you are or how you look its just something he kinda gets off to... I mean look at it like this if your man really liked big breasted women why didnt he marry one then?... why? because he loves YOU.. not big breasted women .. thats just something that turns him on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): i have small breasts too but a nice fit body and pretty face, actually i'm kind of cursed with my breasts as one is significantly bigger than the other, but my boyfriends really sweet about it and says silly things that make me laugh like "hey i got two different sizes to play with!" its hard for you cuz this guys the father of your child so leaving him will be hard but as far as i'm concerned if he's so self centered that he doesn't even appreciate that he's got such a hot missus like you then bin him! there's plenty of nice good looking guys out there that don't want you just for your breasts! infact when i met my bf the last thing he saw was my breasts and he does prefer bigger breasts, he actually left his ex missus for me who had d cup breasts. look on the bright side, you're hot, a lot of women would kill to look like you, and you have a choice.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 June 2009):
 keep the small chest, and tell him how you feel. you can't solve issues by keeping secrets. i know you're hurt by his fetish, but not telling him how you feel is hurting you as well. you don't need to mold yourself into someone else to please anyone.
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