A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Evening peeps!I would like some opinions on my current situation please. On facebook recently I put as my post " Im 99.9 per cent sure children are more messy than dogs,lol!" Now this post was regards to my mate who'd I'd just gone to visit. She has a 2 year old and a dog and she always joke that her kid is messier than the dog and the dog is easier to train. My mate saw this post and we both had a laugh over it. Now my cousin who has 2 kids saw the post a bit later wrote on it " I can assure u, children are nothing like dogs, u can't compare the 2!I emailed her explaining that it was a joke etc. She replied back saying I was disrespectful and because I don't have or want children I'm selfish!I ignored these comments- yes it's true , I don't wnt kids but it spent make me a bad person! Then over the next few days she kept putting post on her status having digs at me..,, I ignored it but it carried on for the next week, getting nastier. She put things like people with no kids will be miserable and llonley, childless people are selfish and being a mum is the best thing etc.....It's funny however she complains about her kids alot of the time, moaning she never has any free time or has to take time off work when they I'll or can't afford eating out and nice holidays etc.. So I think she is a bit jelous of my life.Now I did retaliate against her comments by putting sarcastic updates on my fbook about how I like my freedom and feel sorry for jelous people- stupid I know but she made me so angry!I'm not apologising to her, fortunatly she lives miles away so I won't see her for a while but I truly don't think I did anything wrong.What do u guys think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2010): I think you should unfriend her from facebook so you wont have to look at her insults no more. Also block her so she can't see what you write and get more offended. She sounds like she's jealous of you and your childfree life and feels a need to "defend" her own position even when it is not attacked. Or she is genuinely paranoid. Either way, no need to keep her on facebook. But if you do want her as a friend there, keep ignoring her, dont reply to any more messages from her, and soon enough she will stop since she is not getting any attention from you.
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 Sounds like a harmless comment to me - I wouldn't reply back to your cousin.
Now not to say to completely eliminate your cousin out of your life. Just give her time to cool off and the next time the two of you are together, just have a nice chat about it. Perhaps something in her past happened where that remark bothered her? But for now, leave it and don't contact her about it.
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A
female
reader, Luckie128 +, writes (20 March 2010):
I agree.1) remove her from your facebook. You do not need stress or to be apart of her anger.2) we (adults with no children) will never understand a parents role. They will never understand our suggestions and will take everything the wrong way.3) let her blow off steam for now. Just take the high road and ignore her. Eventually her children will grow up. So what will she do than? So they say the two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
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A
female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (20 March 2010):
 I don't think you did anything wrong either. But, people do get offensive over their personal choices. Still they are personal choices. Parenthood is a choice and people who chose to be parents think there is nothing better and for them there probably isn't. Pet owners feel the same way, especially about their pet. As far as which is the messiest it depends on the individual (pet or child) and the type or quality of rearing or training they have received. Deciding to be a parent is your personal choice and it might chage as your life changes. You used the term mate, I don't know if you mean friend, partner or wife. If you are not married then I can see why children are not an option for you now. If you don't think you would make a great father, then don't have any kids, there is no law saying you must. There are a lot of parents out there that should have never had children and the child is the one that ultimately pays for their parents decision. Too bad we don't spay an nuter people before they have a chance to ruin a childs life. Tell your cousin you love her but to bug off and spend her time and energy on her kids and not you, your already grown. :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 March 2010):
I think you shouldn't bother replying to this woman at all. Don't take anymore notice of her. It's clear that your post hit a raw nerve, but at the end of it, it was a post that wasn't directed at anyone, and you did try to explain. If your cousin wants to be more childish that her own kids, let her. It's not your problem.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique +, writes (20 March 2010):
 I don't think you did anything wrong, you was holding a joke with a friend of yours which seemed to hit a nerve with your cousin, you did right by going to your cousin and explaining it was a joke between you and your friend and really that should have been the end of it but she doesn't seem to have wanted to let it go.
Everyone has the choice whether to have children or not, its not selfish to not want children, its your choice and if that's what you want then no one has the right to be telling you that you've made a wrong or bad decision.
I do think maybe your cousin is feeling some jealousy, I'm not saying she didn't make the right choice for herself on having children and I'm sure she loves and appreciates them but its a hard job and sometimes you can envy the life of someone with the freedom of no ties and commitment.
In my opinion I would just leave it, as I said you didn't do anything wrong and when you realised you'd hit a nerve with your cousin you went and explained, theres nothing else you should or need to do, if she makes any more comments then I would just remove her from your friends list until she is ready to realise shes over-reacted and taken something way too far and for her to apologise for her behaviour towards you since.
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