A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend talks to lots of girls on facebook who are "old friends" as he says. i'm normally not a jealous person but this is starting to bug me as its in excess of 10 different girls, and the "chats" are quite overly friendly. they say things like "it would be lovely to see you" and stuff, and he agrees and says to arrange a date or whatever. i'm not saying he shouldnt have friends but i've got a bad feeling about it all, am i just being an over jealous girlfriend? its starting to affect me to the point where i constantly sign in his facebook to read his messages and thats not right..helpppp!
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male
reader, Masterofpuppets  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 Well, my opinion you should have trust in him. You shouldn't invade his privacy and if you can't be secure in your relationship with him then you need to think about what it is exactly that is bothering you about this and come to A solution. Trust is the foundation of all relationships with out it you have nothing.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (23 February 2012):
Hi there. The only way to truly be free of this, is DON'T visit his Facebook page.
Just don't go there at all.
The more you go there, you see all stuff you don't want to really see, so why do it at all?
These girls might well be old friends from school or his local neighbourhood. They might only consider him to be a friend and nothing more.
When they say - "It would be lovely to see you" - they might just want to catch up with him for a coffee. Not marriage and kids! Not to steal him away from you.
They probably are aware he has a girlfriend, surely. If he knows them that well, well then they know everything about him - especially an important fact, like having a girlfriend! Because that directly affects their plans, doesn't it - if they like him that way? Close friends usually no all there is to know.
I understand that you would naturally have some thoughts of that kind which feel threatening to you, however they might not pose any real risk to your security with him at all.
Perhaps what really needs to happen, is that you need to trust him more, and that he will do the right thing by you, no matter who he talks to on Facebook or any other such chat site.
Once you trust someone, you automatically feel safe and secure in a relationship, because you realize then that his loyalty is to YOU.
This is the emotional place you ought to be aiming for.
Once you are there, you will feel a whole lot calmer, I promise you.
Trust is really important in all relationships. Without it, there will be all sorts of emotional turmoil.
What you want is peace. And that's a great place to be.
With peace, there is happiness, contentedness and calm.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (23 February 2012):
 HI
I think your being a little bit over jealous here. Everyone I know has lots of girls and boys on their FB, freinds from school, freinds of freinds, general chit chat, the old " yeah we should meet up sometime", Which 9 times out of 10 never happens. Reading his emails is over stepping the mark, unless you have concrete evidence he has intentions of meeting up with any of the girls for other than chit chat. Unless you want to push him into another girls arms I would back off from his FB page.Just tell him you feel a little uneasy about him having the girls on there, or better still why not ask about them in conversastion, like how he knows them, and what was it like being in school with them, talk about fun side of things, you will then begin to realise they ARE just old freinds, and you have nothing to worry about .
Mandy x
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