A
female
age
30-35,
*ryndis
writes:So my boyfriend of 4 months (longest relationship of mine) dumped me on Valentine's Day because he was fed up with my behaviour. I won't lie and say what I did wasn't good (when I was upset sometimes I'd threaten to break-up with him, and sometimes tell him he was a bad person...but I didn't do this all the time). The thing is, I never connect with anyone, an I really connected with him. When we first met it as as if I had known him for years, we had this instant bond that even others noticed and were shocked that we had met the day prior because we got along so well. He really, really liked me, and was crazy about me...but things were sort of changing between him and I, but not really. I think school for me, and his work kind of change both of us.No guy I have ever dated really cared about me, and he did, so my question is really....if he really cares about me (because I really think our bond was special)...is there a possibility we can reconcile?
View related questions:
broke up, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bryndis +, writes (20 February 2012):
bryndis is verified as being by the original poster of the question This is my real problem: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080412162926AAJwy9O
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012): Hi Bryndis,
I think it is unfortunate that he ended things and I'm not sure he'll accept to get back with you unless you work on yourself to stop this unhealthy behaviour (emotional abuse), and promise him to not use threats, or verbally abuse him when angry. As a start, you could try finding out more about the concept of healthy relationships by googling 'healthy relationships'. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, bryndis +, writes (18 February 2012):
bryndis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's complicated as to why I acted the way I did. The day after he sent me an email saying I was too needy, too high-maintence to deal with, and that I have unresolved issues I need to work with...and that he doesn't ant to be in a relationship with someone who uses him as a crutch to be happy.
He liked me a lot...but I don't know.
...............................
A
female
reader, eternallyinfinite  +, writes (18 February 2012):
Well, to be honest, threatening to break up with him when you don't really mean it is manipulative, and telling him that he's a bad person is actually emotionally abusive. So, I'm not surprised that he broke up with you.
You can care about someone (even love them greatly!) but not want to be with that person anymore because that person hurt you too much. So, I think if you want to reconcile, YOU have to work on YOURSELF and make up for your past behavior...
...............................
A
male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Yes, there is a possibility that you may reconcile.There is always hope, but if you say or do something wrong that causes you to lose your lover, you must apologize for what you said or did. That is the only way to get them back and to make amends. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. The same goes the other way around. I lost a girlfriend once, and I really loved this girl. So, I had to stop and take a good long look at myself to see what I did to make her want to leave me. I did apologize to her and won her back. I didn't go to extremes, but wished her well in life and said that I was very sorry for everything that was my fault. Then letting go in my mind of the situation.Five days later she called me and wanted to come over.I would say, that if you want him back, just tell him you're sorry for what you said or did, and that you will try to change for the better. Then wait to see if he contacts you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Well, I don't know. If you liked him that much abd you both got on so well, why on earth did you threaten to break up with him and tell him he was a bad person? Apparently you issued these statements more than once.
You should NEVER give anyone an ultimatum, or say the kind of things you did, unless you are prepared to follow through and expect that the person hearing it will take it very seriously.
He evidently did.
Again, why, if you thought your bond was really special, did you say such things to him? You'd better think about this.
If you decide you want to try and reconcile, you'll need to "eat humble pie" as the saying is, and tell him you have thought it over and realize you made a big mistake, and apologize profusely.
It will be up to him whether or not he is willing to give it a second chance.
...............................
|
