A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am an 18 year old virgin, who has never been in a relationship. the reason is because i have no confidence in myself. i have stretch marks all over my boobs, thighs and hips and im totally ashamed and feel discusting.i have met a lad, 21. who has been in previous relationships. before now i have never committed myself to anyone as i have felt too ashamed. i have been seeing this lad, and we decided to take things slowly which suited me great.he then randomly told me he has a high sex drive. although he says he respects my views about leaving sex for a while he said it would be weird. i feel that perhaps all he is after is sex, but then i wonder because would her bother with me if that was the case.i feel comfortable with him and with time i would definately have sex. but im too scared to tell him about my stretch marks incase he runs a mile and then humiliates me. if he is that keen on sex, the isnt he going to want a perfect body?please give me your opinions...1. is he just after sex?2. what do lads think of stretch marks? do they care? will he laugh and tell all his mates?HELP PLEASE HELP
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boobs, confidence, sex drive, stretch marks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): i am 19 years old and i have had stretch marks since i was
17 and im a male. i have been in alot of relationships and
have come to realize that sometimes it is bout sex and its
really hard to find somebody who will love you for who u
are. Its been hard on me because before i had never had one stretch mark,i used to walk around without a shirt when ever i wanted to just to feel tha breez on my body and now huh. So i know how u feel when u get into a relationship and are so afraid of what your partner will think. But sometimes who you are shows more than whats on your body because ive been in love once maybe twice and
the thing thats stoped me from being happy are these horrible fuckin things,excuse my language but honestly it has a hard impact on ur life when u never used to have them and you used to have a great body n now its jus somethin you have to adapt to? Every woman i have ever had sex with say that it doesnt bother them when i know it does. i cant find anybody that i can feel comfortable with
because i know they dont know what i feel,but yea youll never know if you never try so its honestly up to you
A
male
reader, Kohjakza  +, writes (15 September 2007):
there are things you can do for stretch marks, you can either gain some weight, or you can use aloe vera vitamine E enhanced creams to help yor body heal them.But in the end, it is YOUR worry, not his. If he likes the personality not just the body, then you will win out in the end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): They are completely normal. There were some pics on the internet of young Hollywood actresses who have them on their boobs. That girl who was in "Girl with a Pearl Earing" (can't recall name)and loads of others. I got them when I hit puberty on my bottom, but they don't show at all now. Got a few on my boobs when pregnant, all gone now or so faint you can't see. I did not get any on my tum though which was amazing because I was huge. My husband had them on his bum too, from a quick growth spurt. They will fade and you will forget all about them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you ALL so much for your help and replies! I am so happy that so many of you have spent the time to reply, and its really helped.
I find it bizarre that I have really fallen for this guy, as he says he has for me. I still just fear that its all about sex though, which if it is would never work from my point of view.
Please can anyone help here? Can a lad have a really high sex drive, yet still care and look after their girlfriend and want her for her as well as the sex?
I also really dislike this whole idea that lads talk to other lads in graphic details about their relationships, is this true of most lads? and why do they do it? i would have thought in a conversation like this, stretch marks would get slated and then i would feel highly embarrassed round mates of his that know all about me and my relationship.
my stretch marks are rather silvery I have had them for years, as i went through puberty really early. I have tried all the potions and lotion like bio oil and cocoa butter. i have even considered saving for laser removal as that is how much they get me down!!
i know my next step from here is just to spend more time with him and talk things through if i ever feel confident enough to do that, but part of me feels bad of letting him respect my opinions about sex, as there is two people in a relationship with two opinions, and also i feel that if he gets so involved with me and then i tell him and he freaks out and runs a mile that i have wasted his time where he could have been meeting other girls.
it really does get me down so much as im such a shy person i dont feel i could ever bring it up in conversation!
but guys, thanks so much you have all been a great help! and i cant express my thanks enough!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Hi. When i fell pregnant with my child i was size 8 (UK) when he was 5 months old i feel pregnant again. And never really got back to shape between them (didnt have a chance/time) My second was a bigger baby and carrying him i got strech marks on my tummy and hips. I hated them. I was also a size 16 which made me feel worse. They didnt bother my husband at all, he said he always liked them and likes how they feel smoother!! When my second son was 9months old i fell pegnant again. Frustrated about my weight and getting more stretch marks i started dieting, (totally healthy diet plan from doctor not to harm the baby) I went from size 16 to size 12 while pegnant which made me feel better but i still got down about my strech marks, Then i found Bio Oil. Amazing stuff! Pricey but amazing. they fadded and went all silvery, couldnt notice them unless i pointed them out, in about 6months of putting it on all the time. What im trying to say is, almost everyone gets them, horrible fact of life. Most decent men arnt bothered by them, if they are then they have so real growing up todo.If he truly loves you, he will love your body. Also when you are comfortable with your body, around a guy remember you never have to get naked there are loads of kinky little numbers you can wear!!Oh and try Bio Oil. Its brilliant!!!good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): I had a baby & got them all over my stomach, and my b.f. does not care. However he loves me & this guy may just want you for sex. I would wait on this & see what his true intentions are before you make yourself vulnerable to this guy who you're unsure of & think he may just be using you for sex. Get to know him 1st & if he splits, then screw him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your help. I am just scared to bring it into conversation and how to tackle it. Im petrified he may laugh and humiliate me then tell other people I know. Then everyone would find out and I would be highly ashamed! It's so tricky. I feel they don't allow me to be myself. I want to be out there having fun, showing a bit of cleavage, meeting lads who I feel I can get to know and then have sexual relationships with, but these marks stop everything. I am also scared that he sounds a bit too keen on sex for me. I know he said he respects my opinions and I appreciate that so much, but if just feel that perhaps if I did tell him and things went further that all he would be after was sex. Is this something you could ask a guy, without him thinking I was weird?
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A
female
reader, honestheart +, writes (13 September 2007):
I have to say i have loads of stretch marks and my body's not that great but i'm about to get married and my boyfriend loves me for who i am not what i look like. Many men feel uncomfortable with the "perfect" woman, they would rather have someone who is natural and has confidence in themselves.
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A
female
reader, lisa21 +, writes (13 September 2007):
i'm so sorry about how you feel, i sort of have an idea how it feels, i was 20 when i met my partner and trust me i have quite a few stretch marks, on my belly backs of my legs, on my hips, i also had a car accident when i was 18 and broke my spine, luckily i can still walk but i,m left with a whopping great scar on my left hand side of my hip, i have always been ashamed of my body even before scars and stretch marks and i thought as soon as my bf saw the state of my body i'd be alone. but once we got to know eachother a little better i started to talk about my body, it was a hard conversation to start but i got there, and he understood why i wasn't comfortable to have sex yet, anyway after a while i did but with the lights off {i insisted that} after we made love he turned the light on and begged me to move the cover off my body i cried but i did do it, he just smiled and said he loved me the way i was and wouldn't change anything about me.if you think your bloke is after one thing theres two things you can do. 1:dont have sex 2:tell him thats what you think.dont have sex if you dont want to because you will regret it. i think we judge ourselves too harshly and expect everyone else to be the same, stretch marks will fade with time, men get them too, the bigger deaL YOU MAKE OF THEM THE MORE OF A PROBLEM THEY WILL BECOME. X X X
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 September 2007):
He is after sex. He probably won't be turned off by your strech marks. By losing weight, exercise and tightening cream you can probablly eliminate the strech marks.
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A
male
reader, Grz +, writes (13 September 2007):
Honey, a good guy will not pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. I know when my girlfriend isn't in the mood I don't force it.Just bring them up to him, if he doesn't want to be with you after seeing them. Then in my opinion hes a jerk. You deserve better than someone like that.Besides, theres a chance he might not mind them! My girlfriend has stretch marks around her hips and breasts. Guess what, I DONT CARE! Stretch-marks are normal, guys have them too. I love my girlfriend for who she is. And if he doesn't mind them you have figured something out about him and you can finally be comfortable around him.
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