A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help - due to a irrational fear of dentist when I was younger, I did not get the neccessary dential work I needed to correct the over crowding with my teeth which has resulted in vampire looking teeth. I am now ready to correct the problem but have been told that braces or cosmectic surgery is my only two options. I have no confidence when it comes to relationships due to this and therefore allow myself to be treated badly because I feel that I can not attract anyone better. All the men I have been with have left me and I am sure its because of my appearance. I don't smile and refuse to be in pictures and I obsessed with Hollywood stars smiles cos of their perfect teeth. I am desperate to sort my teeth out but just cannot bear the thought of wearing braces for two years at the age of 27 and I cannot afford the surgery. I am working full time and could afford to pay for the surgery in installments but I have not found any dentist who will accept payment this way. I am really ready to settle down and don't feel I can do this unless I fix this problem.I would really appreciate any advice or solutions cos this is all I think about. I feel so childish but this is really beginning to take over my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Oops! English is not my first language folks.Kindly excuse.
"At 29 I am married today with a lovely baby"
That should have read as
"At 29 I am married today and have a lovely baby"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): My screen name is Bugs.I have buck teeth and my teeth are so asymmetrical,they are a dentist's dream.
I was born literally with a silver spoon in my mouth.I was not scared of dentists.At 14 my mom at her wits end and tired of the way my teeth looked tried to take me to the best of dentists.In India moms are more worried about the daughter's appearance since imperfections can make the groom's side ask for more money as dowry.
I put my foot down and I still remember the words that I said that day."I will not get my teeth corrected.If any guy wants to marry me he can take me as I am.I am least bothered if I will not get married at all".
At 29 I am married today with a lovely baby.My mom had to chase away guys with a stick.My bro had to bash up a guy who turned into a stalker.My sister had to turn our dog loose on a guy who got obsessed with me and tried to enter our gate.
My dear Poster I probably look ugly.The difference in my life was that I love myself the way I look.I told myself in the mirror that "you are beautiful.buck teeth and all.Don't let anyone tell you otherwise".Slowly as the confidence started seeping in I was least bothered by the snide comments and teasing.
Confidence brings a sexy charm to a woman that is undeniable.When you are good at heart and not hurt anyone with out any reason there comes a glow that is oh so angelic.
I am not saying you shouldn't correct your teeth.If it would make you happy go ahead and do it.
The guys who left you definitely didn't leave you because of your appearance.In order for others to love you,you should love yourself.
Please don't compare yourself to Hollywood celebrities.Its a silver screen which is fiction.I am sure those guys have their own personal devils and insecurities to contend with.
No you are not childish.You need to build up on your self esteem.Do that and guys will be beating down your door.
All the best dear.Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Have you thought about going aboard to get surgery. You would have to do in-depth research but more often than not you can get the exactly same procedure for a fraction of the cost.I think people under estimate the importance of a great smile but I would agree with every1 else when they say that ur teeth do not hold the key to ur happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): I'm sure your teeth really aren't THAT bad. I have ridiculously oversized canines, and they really do look like vampire teeth, as people regularly point out to me. I just take the opinion that it's one of those features which make me... me! I'm sure that really, you're beautiful as you are. People pay far too much attention to the images projected by hollywood.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 November 2008):
I think the fact you have no confidence and allow yourself to be treated badly is all in your head.
Just deal with it, get a brace, modern ones are pretty unnoticeable, and then get your head together, and get on with life.
Are you honestly going to use your teeth as an excuse for ever? See your problem for what it is and deal with it. Get some self confidence.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Hey, Vampire teeth? sounds awesome!!My friend has teeth like that haha, she loves it too.Don't feel embarassed, many people are afraid of the denist, and hate getting braces. The best I can say is, don't think about anyone else or what they may think, after it all, your teeth will be amazing, then all the comments you may or may not get will be irrelavent. You'll be happy with yourself and that's all that matters.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Ummm.. are you saying that the teeth on the side overlap a little? Actually, I have always wished my teeth had done that! LOL I like that look a lot. David Bowie has this as do a lot of famous people in music and acting. Cher's teeth used to do that but she had them fixed and I liked how her teeth were before she fixed them.
TOo bad you see this as a flaw rather than a really cool feature.
Anyhow, as long as your teeth look white, people notice that more than anything else, and of course if you are missing a tooth in the front,which luckily you don't.
I have a feeling a lot of people like how your teeth look.
By surgery do you mean having some teeth in the back removed? There are also invisible braces here in the US, do you have those in your country?
I guess you know that its not your teeth that ruin the relationships as much as your low self esteem. You are probably very pretty and don't realize it.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Personally I think your inner demons are making you act irrationally and that needs to be dealt with before any expensive dental work, after all of that it may not resolve the lack of confidence you feel.
Perhaps what you need to do is some form of counselling about your appearance and maybe try some hypnotherapy as it is often the subconscious that has a lot to do with our fears, stresses and inability to allow ourselves to love someone, mainly ourselves as we often find fault with the image staring back at us.
The movie stars have an enormous amount of money to fix any blemish or wrinkle and they often have huge amounts of surgery to keep them in the profession of being actors/actresses as their image is what brings in the all important bucks. They have a limited amount of time to land the big roles for the young stars so they do whatever it takes including fake boobs, pecks, face lifts, teeth fixing or often the whitening etc. Some look good but there are a lot who look like they had a bad scare in the night and they have a fixed expression.
You are at an age where you want to fix a problem but you cannot overcome the braces at your age, personally I think if you are that desperate to fix this all consuming problem that you hate then you will do whatever it takes, however, I think you need to get to the root of the problem first by going through counselling as you will need to pull on all of your emotional resources to deal with anything that comes your way i.e. the fact that even with corrective braces etc you might still want to bear a bag over your head until they come off.
It comes down to your self confidence and that is not going to do it on it's own.
Do some research in the privacy of your own home and on the net to find a reputable hypnotherapist or counsellor depending on what you feel is appropriate for you. The power of the mind is amazing and even ailments such as IBS, asthma , smoking, weight loss or gain can be attributed to our state of mind, I am trying hypnotherapy right now for weight loss and so I would say do some research and find out what is right for you.
Don't go down an expensive route of surgery etc until you know you are going to deal with the outcome with a strong attitude and willingness to cope with anything that is thrown at you.
Keep us posted eh!
Good luck.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Here in America, most dental practices have credit plans. You can apply for a loan through the dental office and then make monthly payments just like car payments. If you have good credit, or no credit, you could probably get the loan. Keep checking out different dentists and don't give up! You may find someone who is willing to work with you even if you have to make payments and pay in full, before they start the work. There are some dentists who just want half up front. Just don't give up!
I was in your position for years. Although my teeth were straight, they were very yellow, and I hated to smile. All the whitening products failed and even the professional whitening systems didn't work well enough to satisfy me. I too was obsessed with all the Hollywood smiles and perfect teeth. So, about five years ago, I made a drastic decision to have all my top teeth pulled and get a denture. At times it's a pain in the butt, but well worth it! I can smile now and feel so much better about myself. I had to find the right dentist (and did!) Alot are going towards the more expensive options and some don't believe it removing good teeth but if you can find the right dentist and explain the situation and how you feel, that may be the way to go! Keep an open mind and look at all your options! I know how it is to hate your smile. And I know how it is to be able to smile and feel good about it!
Good luck
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A
female
reader, AuntBeth +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Sweetheart, don't feel childish: this is perfectly understandable.We all have something about us we'd like to change, and it just so happens you can change yours. If you want the surgery, start saving up now. Put a little bit aside each month, and you'll soon have enough.Until then... love yourself! You won't be stuck with your hated teeth forever, so just enjoy yourself. Go out there with the air of a woman who thinks she's gorgeous... and others will do, too!As for guys, as a race they are totally shallow. But you get the odd guy who doesn't care for appearance at all. Don't give up: your Mr Right is out there. He just takes some finding. :)x AuntBeth x
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