A
male
age
41-50,
*W_80
writes:So here's my situation. I have been seperated from my ex of over 8yrs for about 2months ish. In the first month we still used to see each other quite alot and usually end up in bed but then all of a sudden she cut contact with me. I started to think about her all the time again and wanted her back. Sounds simple enough, but the problem is this has happened in our relationship 4 times over the eight years and is now becoming a laughing stock. Every time it has been the same sort of thing where we have split(me doing the splitting), remained friends, visited each other all the time (again ending up in bed) and then finaly get back together. When we are together we have a generally good relationship, we're totally comfortable in each others company, have lived together for 3yrs ish and rarely argue or fight. The thing is we both tend to bottle things up - more so me, and then loads of small unimportant things end up being a huge source of frustration. Another thing is we are chalk and cheese personality wise, she love's to be out and about partying an is always doing something where as I am more laid back and sensible (or maybe boring)anyway she has run up huge debts in the past which every time we split tend to get much larger, then every time we get back, we end up working through, putting pressure on us from the very start. the last time we split and got back together I sorted her debts out once and for all with an IVA, which means she cant get credit anymore but going through it all was quite stressful and there were still other bills that came up that i was having to deal with and i think my head went down and the reationship was over before it started.I'm at the point now where I really want her back again but she says how can she be sure it won't happen again like last time. I do love her but I loved her last time too and things went wrong so I'm just looking for advice as to what to do for the best.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Good luck! I hope that things work out for you.
A
male
reader, CW_80 +, writes (28 October 2010):
CW_80 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who have answered my question. My head has been in a bit of a mess this week and getting that off my chest has helped alot. I suspect that you're all right but it's gonna be tough letting het go and watching her move on ( i'm a very jealous person as i have found out recently!). Suppose i just have to get myself together, be strong and sort things out once and for all. Thanks again for your help !
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 October 2010):
Yep. What Dirtball says. This has happened 4 times already, and it will continue to happen. You've got to move on now, or you'll just be the doormat at her pleasure.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 October 2010):
Most of the time in situations like this you just keep repeating the same thing over and over and over. You've already done it 4 times.
This relationship isn't working. It is possible to love someone and still not be right for eachother. You two may not be right for eachother. Maybe it is time for you to search out someone who is right for you.
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