A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been married to Mike for 4 years. The past year or so, I caught him contradicting himself constantly. Example 1: He took home a football team lanyard several months ago. He told me that the guard at work gave it to him. Yesterday he blurted out that he found the lanyard at his work parking lot! When I reminded him of the difference between what he said now and then. He became irritated and started accusing me of having a memory problem. Example 2: Last Friday he told me his coworker (female) invited us to a party at her house. I was shocked to hear it because Mike always says he has no female coworkers. When I questioned him, his explanation was the lady is from the same program but not from his current project. Realizing I was still confused by his account, he became angry and argumentative. These kinds of examples can go on and on. I found it is very tiring and frustrating to cope. I try to talk to him about this situation; however it has not been successful. Mike also refuses to go to therapy with me. “Therapy breaks marriage” his words. I’m running out of ideas and patience with all these going on. Is it a sign he’s cheating on me? I start having doubts on his honesty. Please help.
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at work, co-worker, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Wifeyindistress +, writes (27 October 2010):
 That is a little fishy. My husband when I knew something was up he was hiding his cell phone from me and always reminding me like two weeks in advance of some bbq with the guys or of working overtime, always anticipating something. So I knew something was up I confronted him ofcourse like your Man he got irrate and started arguing I was told my my brother nonetheless if he gets defensive its because he is hiding something sure enough he was seeing a girl behind my back. I looked online at our cell bill, noticed the paycheck stubs with NO overtime, Just pay attention to the inconsistencies and keep confronting him. If he is doing something shady hopefully he'll tell you the truth and quit stressin you out.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Hun, seems like Mike is stretching the truth to many times.
check up on him....seems like he is up to no good.
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Yeah I find that to be dishonest and that shouldnt imply cheating. Nonetheless, what he did was wrong and I think he's stubborn in refusing couseling and also ignorant. It can help greatly and I think you should do a little research on it and try to sell it to him. Best to you on this.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 October 2010):
 I wouldn't call those examples a sign of cheating, just more a sign of general dishonesty. It could be for any number of reasons. Often when something isn't important to men, we tend to not pay that much attention to details. The guard may have given it to him, or he may have found it, who cares? Are you thinking it was a gift from a GF he's keeping on the side?
The argumentative nature isn't a good sign. He gets caught in an inconsistancy and gets mad. That way he can keep you from further questioning him. If anything was a sign he's hiding something, that would be the one in my opinion. What he is hiding is hard to say. It could be an affair, or it could be something else (gambling debt, illness). Do you have any example that would lead you to think he's having an affair?
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