A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it a turn off if a girl's eyes are super watery after/during a blowjob? I'm excited because I finally got the hang of deep throating and I can fit my boyfriend's entire dick now. And don't worry, I wasn't forced to learn or anything; my boyfriend's never even mentioned deep throating to me (honestly, I'm not even sure he really knows that's a "thing" ha...) but I've always wanted to learn because I figured it would feel good for him, but also because I already love bjs and I thought learning to deep throat would make it even more fun/enjoyable for me. Turns out I was right in both cases; but the only downside is that it makes my eyes water A LOT. I just wondered if that's considered unappealing to guys or anything. Because I'm sure sometimes it almost looks like I'm crying or something ha which couldn't be further from the truth. Sometimes if my head is at a certain angle when he ejaculates my nose will "run" (with something other than snot, if you get what I mean... sorry if that's gross) and I know he thinks that's hot, which I was kind of surprised about because I don't really know many of the "quirkier" things guys consider hot I guess ha... But I don't know if watery eyes is one of those "hot" things too or if it's just weird to a guy.I mean anyway I'm sure over time I can learn to repress my gag reflex even more (I'm already pretty good at that - ever since I was little it's always taken a lot to make me gag) which will cut back on the eye watering, so I guess it probably doesn't matter much either way. Just curious though.I'm not hung up on this or anything; it's just something I've been wondering lately I guess ha.[Moderator's note to the OP and others: You should feel free to ask any sex questions (using the link: "Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!"), while you understand there are no trained sexologists here, or specialists in other fields. Some questions will not be allowed if they are commonly asked - in which case we invite you to search through our archives, this question has passed because it was slightly different than the usual questions we receive on oral sex. On a final note, it should be expected that the answerers will usually come with a variety of insights and new ideas, thus it is recommendable to read them with an open mind and not take offense on some of the comments. Thank you.]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): I'm glad I found your question, I was wondering exactly the same thing. I only just discovered how to deep throat, and was really worried I looked like a prat what with the gag reflex & tears pouring down my face.
The more you do it and get used to it, the less you will gag or cry, so um... practice makes perfect!
A
female
reader, soinlovewithhim  +, writes (8 October 2009):
Congrats, it takes time for alot of girls to get used to deep throating. As for the watery eyes.... All guys I know find it a huge turn on (to see a little make-up run while he is looking down at you.) ps:it makes it hotter when you look in his eyes at the same time.
XOXOX soinlovewithhim
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for all the helpful answers! I appreciate it.
I always make sure to tell him that I'm enjoying it (not just because I don't want him to feel bad for me, but because it's genuinely true). It's really not even uncomfortable the majority of the time - I'm not in pain while giving oral except for maybe the occasional jab in the tonsils but that's my own fault cause I'm the one controlling the action ha. I do feel tired when I'm done, like Illithid, but that's also because I'm propped up on my arms in a half-push up position most of the time ha, and at a scrawny 110 lbs I am NOT cut out for even simple weight-bearing positions ha.
The most uncomfortable thing that really happens is just the occasional gag, but even that really isn't that bad... personally I think brushing the back of my tongue with a toothbrush gives a worse gag than oral sex. And I think it's probably just because I'm in a more pleasant frame of mind when I'm giving head which makes the overall thing more enjoyable, gags included ha... plus it just makes me feel more connected to my boyfriend and I think that would be a huge incentive for oral sex even if it was extremely physically uncomfortable for me to perform.
But yeah I do try to always tell him that I'm enjoying it so he knows not to feel bad for me or anything... as he puts it blow jobs are a "win-win" for us, which I agree with ha. It's good to know that the teary eye thing isn't a weird problem to have... I mostly was just wondering because I'd like to make more eye contact with my boyfriend during oral, which is already sort of hard for me to do (despite the fact that there isn't a human being on this planet that I'm closer with ha) and I always feel slightly uncomfortable looking at him when my eyes are watering just cause I think if I was a guy that would seem unappealing to me for some reason ha, and I don't want to gross/weird him out.
I think I just have low confidence sometimes because even though I'm almost 21 I feel like I still look and act more like some kind of shy little girl rather than the "sexy woman" image most people conjure up as the ideal when they think of sexual stuff ha... it's just hard for me to muster the guts to look up at him when I'm worried about something even as tiny as watery eyes because I'm not confident it will look sexy; I just don't think of myself as some bold kinky type of girl that can pull that stuff off and look good doing it ha (even though he's really good about telling me that he thinks I'm sexy and beautiful etc, etc - I know HE thinks it, but it's just hard to convince MYSELF that I really am for some reason). But I think your answers will all help, thanks so much. I think I just need to be more confident with myself.
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (8 October 2009):
 First, thank you Cerberus for saying what I was thinking.
Second, Poster, I know kinda how you feel. I'm a guy, but I would regularly push myself too hard while eating out my ex, getting sore wrists and a crick in my neck and a sore bump on my lip and a smashed and runny nose and an overall fatigue that probably wasn't helped by the partial asphyxiation that comes with a girl's hands being on the back of my head. I still loved doing it, no matter how many sore areas I had to nurse afterward. 30 to 45 minutes of discomfort (doing the job) and another half an hour recovering were a small price to pay for giving her pleasure, and I had fun doing it.
So I'm gratified to hear that there's a girl that feels the same about doing that favor for her guy. And I'm THRILLED to hear that you are picky about who you do this for and even waited five months into the relationship to start. More power to you. Just make sure your guy knows that you are not upset, that you're doing this because you want to, so he won't feel guilty about your discomfort.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): no. he will be happy you are doing that for him in the first place ;)
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male
reader, FrequentFlyer  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Haha certainly not a turn off. Any guy would be happy knowing he is getting a headjob in the first place! You know, even for some guys, it could be a major turn on knowing that you are trying that hard to give him head in the first place. Don't worry about it, If anything, feel real secure about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): No, it shouldn't bother him at all, as a previous poster said as long you don't have tears for any negative reason then it isn't a problem.
Sex questions are welcome here, no matter how graphic. Sex even has its own tag.
Perhaps there are other Aunts on this site that don't think sex is part of a loving relationship and therefore should not be discussed, or perhaps they don't realize that everything that is asked on this site is in fact a deeply private matter that is discussed in public because people feel they need help with it.
One thing I can tell you that this site definitely isn't: It's not a site to air your personal views on the morality of what is being asked. It's not a site to insult and have a go at a person asking a question about something they need help with.
It is a help site, therefore it is common courtesy to post a helpful answer not a condescending insult aimed at the mods and poster of the question. If you don't agree with, or like a question it is polite then not to answer and just go on to another question.
FYI: Teenagers have sex, and they're arguably the ones that need the best advice on those issues because they're inexperienced and have the potential to create the most serious problems for themselves because they don't know what they're doing. The mods on this site aren't going turn people with genuine problems away because you are squeemish about sex.
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female
reader, Jayney Y +, writes (8 October 2009):
 Sorry, but I can't stop laughing after reading the answers here.....and I can't answer the question from experience, but my guess is that he's probably not looking at your eyes.....BUT, I guess it would be OK as long as your mascara's not running all over the place and making you look like The Joker......... :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Wish I knew how to like doing that. I think sperm taste the worst, and wouldn't dream of having it come out of my nose... So kudos to you! As for the watery eyes, pretty sure it's a normal body reaction to the gagging. Whether he likes it or not you'll have to ask him. Everyone likes different things, but if he hasn't complained yet I think it's safe to assume he enjoys it.
PS. I also enjoy giving bj's a lot, so you're definitely not the only one who likes to please her man. It feels good for us too.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): These are some pretty sorry answers. You simply came to this site and were asking advice about your sexual relationship with your boyfriend. Thats exactly what this site is about. You want to have a healthy and happy sexual relationship with him and now that you are experiencing something new together, you want to make sure it turns him on. Honestly, I think it would be sexy if my girls eyes watered when she went down on me. Its a turn on to think of the girl struggling with it a bit, but still wanting more and still going for it no matter what. Just keep doing that and your boyfriend will always love it.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (8 October 2009):
Highly doubt it's a turn off. If anything, it makes the guy think that he's large enough to make you gag resulting in watery eyes. You could always ask him yourself and I'm almost 100% sure he would say that it isn't a turn off but a turn on.
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 You are a lucky girl if this is the worst of your worries at the moment : ) - of course he won't mind.
And don't worry about the comments - this site invites questions about sex, and you have just been candid and honest when asking your question. That's fine. Older people in particular might find such graphic descriptions a bit of a shock, but don't feel bad - you just had a question and you asked. That's ok.
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female
reader, karasu10 +, writes (8 October 2009):
 lol it is not a turn off. guys actually dig it. just keep working on that reflex and the tears will go away. i dont tear anymore ;) haha
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response, I understand where you're coming from now. I realize the format of my question seems a bit overtly candid but my reasoning behind it was mainly 1) I tend to beat around the bush and figured I might as well cut to the chase since the question was already pretty long-winded, and 2) I've honestly seen way worse and more explicit sex-related questions (and answers - probably answers moreso, really) on this site and I didn't think mine would be the straw that breaks the camel's back. And correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a whole "sex" section of this site with similarly candid content; I just get used to seeing very explicit text on dearcupid sometimes, and I guess I was just under the impression that this was a normal sort of question for the site.
But like I said, the anonymous thing makes it way easier to ask something really bold like this; there's no way I'd feel comfortable asking something like this with even a hint of my identity attached to it ha.
I'm honestly sorry if the way I worded things was offensive to you or the community in any way, I tried to avoid using derogatory or smutty sexual slang but maybe I should be still more careful of explicit content in the future (I'm being genuine here by the way - sometimes I'm not sure if what I say over the internet comes off as sarcasm so I just want to clarify that it's not).
As for the book idea, I've considered that before but there's no way I'd be comfortable just waltzing into B&N and buying a book like that haha... I've thought about ordering one online for privacy's sake but I still shudder to think of how embarrassed I'd be if my boyfriend (or anyone, for that matter) found a sex book lying around my room ha... like I said I'm pretty shy... or just awkward maybe is a better word ha. Is there any way to order a book digitally (without buying a Kindle or something)? For some reason I think I'd feel safer keeping something like that on a flash drive as opposed to buried under my mattress ha.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Actually, the manner in which your question was written, I am really surprised that the moderators approved it...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Dear Cupid is not really a Sex site for Sex tips, it is a relationship site, I don't know that your question falls under relationship issues. Sex tips maybe should go to a site that is all about sex and sexual technique.
I get rather offended at all the barage of questions from preteen girls about how to perform oral sex, yours came accross as just another vapid teen girl wanting to know how to service a man....sure sex is a very personal thing, if you don't know a lot about sex, how about going out and buying a book about sexual technique, they are actually sold in conservative bookstores like Barnes and Noble.
To ask these kinds of questions of the general public at large just seems well rather boorish.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the other answers so far, by the way! I'm not trying to be exhibitionist here by posting this question (hence the anonymity, I guess) and I appreciate the rest of you actually answering my question instead of jumping to offensive conclusions ha.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, sorry I didn't realize this was offensive...No, I don't think I'm meant to "perform" for men... this guy has been my best friend for 5 years and we've been dating for a year now... he's the only guy I've ever even given a blowjob to and it took me like 5 months to even do that much. I'm extremely conservative with whom I give this stuff to... I don't just go around giving out blow jobs like candy. I happen to enjoy giving blow jobs simply because I do, and because they make my boyfriend (whom I love deeply) happy... he never even asked me to start doing them and he always waited til I was comfortable enough to do it on my own terms... I never even watch porn, much less dream of being a porn star. I think porn is pretty disgusting honestly and it goes against my personal morals. Just because I happen to know what deep throating is doesn't mean I watch porn - I read up on things because I want to have a well-rounded sexual relationship both for myself and my boyfriend. And I haven't even had sex yet for god's sake, and hopefully will stay that way til I'm married. I'm not some kind of whore; I'm sorry but you don't know me at all, I haven't done anything to you and I think an advice site like this is a pretty poor place to start coming down on someone just for asking a simple question.Like I said, I'm *not hung up about this*, I was just wondering if what people thought about it because I was just CURIOUS. I barely know anything about sex so I don't know what's normal and I'm just curious, geez, sorry. I would never even dream of asking this question in real life because I'm an extremely shy person (hence why this question is anonymous) and I take sex very seriously... I thought I'd be safe asking this in an objective and anonymous environment but maybe I was wrong. Please next time be considerate before you make hurtful assumptions... next time maybe I'll think twice before I ask a question here...
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (8 October 2009):
As long as he knows you aren't crying so he doesn't feel guilty for hurting you, it should be fine. Just make sure to mention that you're enjoying yourself (if indeed you are) and he'll enjoy the feeling. Congrats on your success.
Just make sure he realizes how lucky he is to habe you. Neither of my girlfriends would suck me at all, much less swallow, much less deep throat.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Congratualations, ha, you have learned a skill, ha that will get you a job as the next biggest porn star, ha.
This is a stupid question, you act like you are only meant to perform for a guy and are all concerned about whethere or not your tearey eyes will be a turn off to him while you have his manhood down your throat and his spunk is running out of your nose? Good God girl, get a life.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 I really don't think he's going to mind.
Keep up the good work.
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