A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:During the summer I had a relationship with a girl. The relationship had to end, because we were both going to university. In the first couple of weeks back at university, I met somebody else. I was a free man, and saw nothing wrong with entering a new relationship. The girl I started seeing was keen to make it public knowledge, and though I hesitated to begin with, I eventually changed my relationship status over facebook. It's been about a week, and now out of the blue, my ex girlfriend has started sending me some nasty messages through facebook. I've chosen to simply tell her that if she's going to be bitter about the fact I'm seeing somebody else, she can keep her nose out of my business. Having told her this, I've blocked her!Was this the right thing to do? I'd like to think I handled this in a mature manner, while she was being very immature. What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
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ex girlfriend, facebook, immature, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Dude if your the same guy from last week then seriously stop worrying about facebook or bebo or any of those sites.
You guys broke up. She cant handle it now, and shes upset. That doesnt give her the right to to trash talk you.
You dont need the hate so yeah blocking her is the right thing.
Thats its its done, dont worry about it.
Your new relationship just chill about it,
As long as you can say youve treated someone fairly you will have your dignity.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): i still think you have unfinished business with the ex and the new one is a mere diversion. you were pressurised in changing your status on facebook by the new gf. you were not ready to announce to the world that you had moved on but you did just to please the new girl. now you are regretting it and you are feeling the heat.
you had a good thing with the ex . you know it and she DID to. now you just made it seem inconsequential. meaning you made your time together amount to nothing.
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A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 I hope you gave your ex a chance to stop posting nasty comments before blocking her, gave her a chance to be civil, but if she was being bitter and angry then yes, you had every right to block her from your friend list because she was no longer being friendly. Nasty comments from an ex could hurt your new relationship, or at the very least your mood, and really had no place in a public forum like Facebook.
I would however suggest perhaps unblocking her, sending her private messages explaining why you felt you had to block her, and being ready to delete posts off your wall from her in the future if she is angry again... but only if you feel that you need to remain friends with this ex. Only you can decide if your ex-girlfriend is someone you can cut ties with, or someone you should try to stay friends with.
Nasty comments warrant being blocked, but not staying blocked forever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): I believe that only you have the answer to this question. Sounds like you moved from one person to another and it is apparent that you both had feelings for one another. I would feel very hurt by this myself if I was treated like this so I can relate on some levels to her anger at the moment which most certainly is part of the grieving process.
You yourself sound like you are questioning your move and in my opinion only someone who cared would react this way. The answer is within you only. If you want her gone completely from your life than proceed with your current course of direction. If you actually give a shit that she is hurting than consider how your actions are contributing to her hurt at the moment and suck it up.
You come accross as someone who is just thinking of himself for the record and appear to be cold while justifying your choices. Actions have reactions. You can choose to push away and justify what you are doing or you can accept the fact that your actions are hurting others who obviously have grown to care for you in some way, shape or form.
Don't forget that we usually get what we put out and karma has a way of teaching us valuable lessons if we are unable to recognize how we are treating others.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): you wrote in last week asking about changing your status right?
i think you have hurt this person tremendously therefore she has done what she has. this in no way excuses her behaviour however. so you had to do what you had to doo.
when you break up with your NEW gf, handle it differently. do the right thing and just tell her that you have moved on, don't let her see it on Facebook, like your ex did.
this girls feeling are hurt. she is upset that you maved on so quickly and she had to find out on facebook. in her mind it means that she meant nothing to you and that you are basically a player. she may be wrong but it is feelings you are talking about here. so when emotions are involved expect the worse. was the messages nasty but true??
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