A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Are there any happy marriages out there? I'm afraid that if I marry my high school sweetheart, he'll stop loving me later on and want a divorce. He's made it pretty clear that he wants a future with me, but I don't know since I hear a lot of high school lovers get married but regret it because they didn't have a chance to be with anyone else. Is there hope for us? Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2011): Just understand that the whole "high school sweetheart" novelty will wear off rather sooner than later. Marriage is a full time job that involves a lot of compromise, communication, and tolerance, so it's essentially a full time job to make a marriage work. People are dynamic as opposed to static as time goes by, and keep in mind that your current state of infatuation and being "in love" will change; love alone will not sustain a marriage in this day and age. There are a lot of couples who truly love each other but still end up filing for divorce.....they just don't see eye to eye on finances, etc.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): My parents met in high school, married when they were 21 and they are still (very very very) happily together 20 years later :) so i'd say, why not?
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 that is a big question. I think for a marriage to last you both have to be very good communicators and you should also be really into each other in a mutual way. my parents have been together for nearly 60 years. they are happy. but then later generations seem to be more flippant about relationships, but then once you get involved for a long time and things are going great there's no reason to get out. mind you people that know each other for a long time get picky about little things. run the race as best you can from where you see it now. only time will tell.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 That is all up to the individual and how well they know themselves. Will YOU regret not having slept around and experienced other people? No? Even if SOME regret it, not all will regret it. And even if you sleep around, experience, do whatever crazy, and then get married, they might still divorce.
It all comes down to two things: How well do you know yourself, and, do not have divorce as an option. That means, even if the marriage goes down the drain, to stick to it. When divorce is not an option you will seek solutions and work on your marriage. If you do not intend to get divorced, you will not get divorced, quite simply: it takes willpower. A happy marriage on the other hand is something you need to work out with your partner, and you will both change over the years. So this is all about you knowing yourself, and your partner knowing himself. To me, marriage is not so much about the grand love as it is a choice to make a commitment and stick to each other through thick and thin. Marriage is a lifestyle. Make sure you are suited for it.
Just because you love each other does mean you have to get married, if the lifestyle of marriage isn't best suited for you. Especially as you and your partner are young it will be more difficult to adapt into a different lifestyle that is marriage.
I say, don't worry about this too much now. Reflect on marriage and what it means to you, and why you wish to (or don't wish to) get married. Then let the years go by and grow a deeper relationship, and see how your relationship tackles hard times and the transition from high school sweethearts to adult and grown up relationship. Then, when you're old enough (at least 23-28), think about it again and see how you feel.
Don't get married if you don't feel secure about it.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 You are a little young to get married in my opinion. Has the guy proposed? Are you planning on proposing?
Marriages are marriages hun. Some are good and some are bad. There are just NO guarantees. The relationship depends on ALOT of work from both partners. Communication, dedication, patience, time etc. Then you have careers, kids and mortgages etc. I think perhaps the best idea is to spend some years together before marriage to figure each other out. In the meantime get started on the initial career building stage after college AND THEN get married! But thats just my opinion and who knows ... your particular marriage could be like Christmas everyday. No guarantees!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2011): My parents got married really young... my mum was 17 and my dad 21. They're now 50 and 54 and still very happy together. Fair enough, times have changed since they got married, but I truly believe there's still hope!
My boyfriend and I got together in school when we were both 16. We're now coming 21 and are still together and happy. I understand your query about not having a chance with someone else - often I have thought about this also. But then I realise that I wouldn't WANT to be with anyone else.
If you truly loved each other, you wouldn't want anyone else...right?
Have you talked to your BF about it? being childhood sweethearts doesn't mean you have to get married in your childhood. There's plenty of time to settle down together!
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