A
female
age
30-35,
*arahlouise
writes:hi ya all im 18 and female and just wanted to no what it is a guy wants in a girl? and what a girl should do to make a lad/man love her for who she is? i do not want to change and all i want is to be happy and loved. i have low self asteem and just need a boost. i have not had trouble pulling before at all but the lads i get are good looking but complete assholes and i just want to betreat in the same way i am with others can smeone please give me advice it will be taken into consideration and i will be so grateful thankyou Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): oh my god, i am sick of meeting arseholes, and good looking knob heads!
is it impossible to meet a good looking faithfull intersting man?
NO NO NO,its not impossible.
do you know why?
because i am, as im sure you are, looking for the guy who is the equivilant of you and me!
and if we exist, so do they!!!
get what i mean! the perfect guy for you is out there!i havent found him, but im only 23!!lol, enjoy looking, it could take a while. But isnt that what its all about!!!
A
female
reader, sarahlouise +, writes (24 October 2007):
sarahlouise is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou so much for saying what you all think you are all so understanding and honest i want to thank each and every1 of you and yes the guys i meet are mainly at clubs and i now no to hae confidence and to not expect alot from lads at niteclubs thankyou all xxx
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A
male
reader, Superdave67  +, writes (24 October 2007):
I think you're learning lesson number one in how not to deal with your low self-esteem. If you want guys to treat you with respect then you need to respect yourself first.
Stop hooking up with dudes for a little while, figure out what you want to accompish in life, set some personal goals and starting working towards them, make a list of things you like about yourself. As you improve your image of yourself, you will find that you will respect yourself more. As your respect for you improves, your ability to judge the assholes from the good guys will definitely improve.
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A
male
reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Well coming from my point of view all I want from a woman is to be understanding.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 Hi,
I think you need to differentiate between the two types of lads out there.
One type are looking to get laid. They will meet the girl have sex and then move on. The girls usually are into the same thing. Everyone's happy. It's call the meat market.
But eventually this lifestyle becomes empty. You get sick of waking up in a strangers bed and the previous nights closeless is gone. You need to re-assess how you meet men. For one drop the shallow prerequisite. ie. the guy has to be good looking. If this is the way you determine a potential bf's qualities no wonder you are meeting arseholes all the time.
A lot of guys unfortunately ( i am not one of these! ) think that if a girl sleeps with them on the first date, then they are not worthy relationship material.
This is a hypocritical stance, but tragically its true.
These good looking guys you are bedding see you as a notch in their belt, you will never have a chance of a relationship with this type of guy ( and you are probably lucky in this sense)
The bottom line is, if you meet a guy you like and you want them to get to know you as a person first then you should get them to treat you with respect first ( by not sleeping with them until you know them really well ). If a guy is not prepared to hold out on sex then he is not worthy of a relationship. Think about it, if he dumps you because you havent slept with him then what type of guy does that make him?
You admit to a low self esteem, I imagine the attention males give you helps boost that self esteem. But you know, that this is self defeating, by giving yourself to these guys they then lose respect for you.
Holding out to you meet someone nice will be much harder, if you are meeting guys at pubs and clubs then the majority are going to want a shag and that's it. But if you are looking for a relationship then you need to avoid these types and most likely expand your horizons - try meeting men at different places - clubs for instance (not nightclubs!!). Not all of us men want to take advantage of a girl , and some of us even like being in committed relationships. You've just got to put yourself out there as a girl who looks like she wants to commit. The first step in that is not going home with the first guy who pays you a compliment.
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A
male
reader, Dextro69 +, writes (24 October 2007):
 There are decent good looking guys out there, they are just harder to find.
one of the problems is that good looking guys around your age know that they are and tend not to want be in a stable relationship, they want to have a bit of fun before they settle down and this makes them come across as assholes.
You need to look at where you are meeting these guys as well. If you meet them in bars etc on a Fri/Sat night you are going to have a hard job finding a guy not after just the one thing. Try going to clubs or hobby groups to meet some with the same interests.
Also don’t just go for the best looking guys. Beauty is only skin deep to find true love you need to look beneath the skin and into the heart, Mr average tends to know there place on the looks scale and don’t mind because they are truly a good and kind person and can get the best catches without there looks.
If you want a Man to love you for whom you are, then if they love who you are, they will love you warts and all, be that farting in bed biting your toenails off or any other fault you may or not have.
As they say “love is blind”. When the right person comes along you will know so grab them and hold on tight.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Proverb: A royal feast is never found in a peasant's kitchen.
If your finding the wrong type of people, try looking in a different place.
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