A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently my gay friend invited me to accompany him to the gay club. I'm straight and I was kind of in two minds about it. I'm not homophobic at all but somehow I felt like I don't belong in there and as a straight person, I shouldn't occupy places meant specifically for gay people. But he assured me it's going to be fun and it's totally fine with me going with him, so I agreed. In the club, it was exactly as my friend described - fun, great music, good drinks. After a while of being there, some guy came up to me and started to feel me and touch me. I politely pushed his hands away and explained that I'm straight. He looked at me, quite annoyed and was like " Then what are you doing in a gay club? Don't you straights have your own clubs?" So I don't really get it now - are straight people welcome in gay clubs or not? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ECorbi8  +, writes (23 June 2019):
As a gay woman, I don't expect that every other woman in a gay bar is gay / bi. In fact, I live in Ireland and love being at the Dublin Pride parade each June to meet new people regardless of sexuality, because it seems to attract all types of characters and it means they're open-minded and interested in celebrating with the community. They're all welcome.
It sounds like the guy in the bar was out of line and didn't like his advances being turned down - tough. That's his problem. You are welcome as long as you're respectful of the people there.
I hope this experience doesn't put you off going again because I have a few straight male friends that are simply too afraid of their sexuality to go to a gay bar and I think it's just so sad to see!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 June 2019):
 Yes, straight people are welcome at all gay bars and events. But jerks are everywhere, and of every sexuality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2019): As a gay woman I would tell you you can go anywhere you want. There's no way to stop straight people going to gay clubs. However, some people will be annoyed. There are limited spaces for gay people and the whole point is going there the idea is that you know everyone there is gay.
You were with your friend though and he asked you to go so I think that's ok. But in gay bars people will get sick of straight people coming into their space cos it feels like tourism.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2019): Want an answer from a gay man? Yes, and no! Nobody cares if you're straight in a gay-bar. It's gay-guys who get rejected that don't like you there. You had a good-time until someone made a pass.
Gay-men are men. Men tend to be aggressive, they make unwanted passes, and they don't like being rejected for it.
When you're in a drinking situation; you may face a confrontation no matter what kind of bar or club you're in.
How would that amount to straight-people not being welcome in gay bars? Gay-people go to straight-bars! They know they are welcome as long as they behave. Same goes the other-way around. You just had an unfortunate incident, that could have happened to a gay-man who wasn't interested. You humiliated the guy by rejecting him; so he had to hit back to save his own pride, by making you uncomfortable.
Next-time, just smile and say..."I'm here with a friend! You're just not my type! Go grope somebody else!"
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (18 June 2019):
 This guy's approach was crass and uncouth. No small talk, no introduction, just straight in for the grope. Oh please. Just because someone is in a gay club does not make them meat for others to grope without permission.
That aside, there will always be people who will be "territorial". It says a lot about THEM and nothing about YOU. Most people will make you welcome, regardless of your sexual orientation.
You were unlucky. This guy was out of order with a very inflated sense of entitlement. Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - has a right to do anything to your body you do not want. He was pissed off because he is obviously someone who thinks he has a right to have whatever (or whoever) he wants.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2019): It is a public place, not a "safe place", it's just patronized by mostly gay people most of the time. In my experience as a straight woman, I was always welcome at the gay clubs I patronized on occasion. They did have the best dance music.
I think you should go and have a good time. It is not exclusive to gays to go to that club, and you really don't even need to be escorted by a gay friend.
The guy that tried to touch you without permission is a jerk, and unfortunately are not exclusive to "gay" or "straight" clubs. There is always a few around no matter where you go, so don't worry about what he thinks. Just because he is gay does not give him license to grope anyone.
Hope this helps.
R
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2019): U just went to a wrong gay club and met the wrong gay guys. I’m a gay guy in Sydney and loads of straight men go to gay clubs, becos they love the attention or easier to pick up girls or some go with their friends. But we wouldn’t say anything like what they said to u
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2019):
 If you accompany a gay friend, it's fine. You should have answered " I am just hanging out with my friend " and , at least in my experience both in Europe and USA, not even the most militant gayprider would have found fault with that. What, rightly so, pisses mightily off gay people is having groups of heteros going to gay venues in the same spirit they'd make a trip to the zoo, or to some wild Amazonas tribe- site; you know , staring and gawking and oohing and aahing and commenting….
Your " suitor " acted annoyed just because … he wanted to get it on and he could not; some as , some times, straight guys in straight clubs get snappy with straight girls who turn them down. Sexual frustration makes people irritable :)
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (18 June 2019):
 They are in my town. I spent a lot of my youth hanging out with my gay pals. I actually felt far more safer there because I was straight and didnt have to worry about slime bag dudes trying to crack on to me all night. Your going there to hang out with a mate-so be it IMHO
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 June 2019):
 Gay clubs are MADE for gay people to give them a "safe space" to make connections - PRIMARILY.
Doesn't mean you aren't welcome, I would guess. However, from my experience you will also find that SOME (not all) gay men are WAY more tactile if interested in your looks, than ANY woman at a club that caters mostly to straight people.
And yes, I can kind of see why he was annoyed, he was hoping to get laid. And you shot that down with a "I'm straight". It's not like it's tattooed on your forehead that you are straight.
Gay people are PEOPLE, just like you. Doesn't your gay friend go to "straight clubs" too, as you call them?
I don't think people need to segregate themselves based on sexual orientation. Seriously. But it DOES make sense that gay clubs are primarily for GAY people as it makes it easier for a SMALL group of people to meet "kindred spirits".
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 June 2019):
 Like anything, some people accept it and others don’t. Frequenting them regularly isn’t usually a good idea, but going occasionally with a gay friend seems fine. I also don’t think you need to tell people you’re straight, just that you’re not interested in flirting with anyone and obviously don’t hit on anyone while you’re there, even if they’re straight.
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