| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: At age 25 i have never been in a relationship and obviously still a virgin never kissed anyone and as each day passes i see myself growing older and lonlier.I suffer badly from depression and anxiety i have no self esteem at all no confidence and self loathing.As i wake up everyday i realise that nothing can ever change for me because i have herpes, that right someone who has never ever had any sexual contact with anyone in their life has a sexually transmitted disease.My heart is so lonley and is crying out for someone to fill the missing piece of me but i know it can never happen.What i want is not just about having sex but i just want to know what it feels like to love someone and to have someone to love me back, someone who isnt just there for the night but someone to be my best and closest friend too.I really wonder if there is a single person in this world that can relate to the pain that i feel everyday.Is it really hopeless, are some people destined to be alone forever?
View related questions:
confidence, herpes, self esteem, still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): I was in the same situation. My first time sex was at the age of 43. (Now I am 54) The relationship continues up to this day and there is plenty of sex in it too! She is 41. The first time I bought shoes for myself was at the age of 39. The first time I visited a doctor without being accompanied by a parent or brother was at 41. The first time I got a personal acquaintance was at 41. I left a notice at a tourist club: "looking for a party for hiking on weekend"...A great deal of bitter experience, and then there came a wonderful love to a very young girl. It was all in the sky -no sex involved. Then a long series of datings and more despair, until I met that/this girl. She is mute, but we are getting along nicely together.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Love starts within yourself. You can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself as well. Consider seeing a counselor. Straighten yourself up first and life won't look so hopeless.
...............................
A
female
reader, stephanie,jayne  +, writes (1 February 2010):
herpes is treatable if not curable so go to your GP and they may be able to prescribe something for you! take up a few hobbies (this is a brilliant way of meeting new people!) start going to the gym a few times a week, this releases something simply knows as "happy hormones" this should help with the depression! tell your friends to set you up on blind dates if they meet a nice single girl! reinvet yourself, have a mini make over, for example, new hair style, new clothes, new diet. read a few books on dating so that you understand how women think and how you can make yourself more appealing.
You moan about how you want love but you dont sound asthough your doing much to persue it. concentrait on bettering yourself and before you realise it, your depression will ease, your confidence will boost and all this will show when you talk to girls! if you dont love yourself how can you expect others to love you?? xx
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 A lot of people have herpes. I wonder, you are a virgin, so you have herpes on your lips only? Make sure your diet is more alkaline than acidic. Vegetables, fruits, and avoid bleached flour, white sugar, corn and corn syrup. Eat food with a higher lysine to arginine ratio. There are lysine pills in the drug store but fresh food is always the best. Once you make changes in your diet your life will be so much better. Try online dating. Someone close to your area and is single, looking for long term relationships also. You don't have to mention herpes, if your lifestyle is healthy, herpes won't come back to you. There are people who are destined to be loners, but since you want company, you have to do something rather than just wallowing.
...............................
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 No it is not hopeless but frankly you are in a bad way and some fairly radical reinvention is called for. The best way to completely chance your life is to move yourself to a new city, better still a new country or new continent. Go somewhere where no one knows the old you so that the new you has room to grow. Go somewhere that takes you out of all of your comfort zones. Do something which helps other people less well off than you are so that you stop thinking about your own misery.Do you have skills? What are you good at?
...............................
A
female
reader, curious0hot  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 I don't think you have to be alone if that's not what your looking for. It will be hard, maybe impossible, to convince someone without HSV (herpes) to engage in a romantic relationship. I suggest joining one of the many dating websites for people with HSV and other std's.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): In truthIts your choice. It always has been. Its you who chooses not to make any changes in your life. I wonder why this is so. Why do you hate the man in the mirror so much, what has he really done thats so bad? I always look at him and think that he deserves my best effort, because he has a good heart and a kind soul.Why dont we start at the beginning, easy thing first Herpies is very easy to manage so dont worry bout it, see your doctor and get the right medication. See how easy that was, you can do that :)Next depression and anxiety are very difficult to get over. you are going to have to be very honest about who you are and whats going on in your life. Make an effort to be better as a person, simply give some money to a charity. there you are a good person because the world is better :)Confidence is quite difficult at first, you have to focus on whats good and not on whats bad. Bad things need to be recatagorised as "needs work".Im sorry this wil be a long and slow process, but the sooner you start the sooner you be with the girl of your dreams. So what are you waiting for?
...............................
A
female
reader, Car88 +, writes (31 January 2010):
Hey,I think you need to put your positive hat on. Ok so you may not be too confident, but maybe a few online dating sites will help build your confidence and you might even find someone special while your there. As for your experience levels, dont worry if you find the right girl she will be happy to teach you a thing or too. If you go on google there are dating sites for people who want to be open about having STI too so if the girls are there they understand.Keep smiling and remember there is nice people out there, hope this helps Car x :)
...............................
A
female
reader, CherryBoom  +, writes (31 January 2010):
nobody is destined to stay alone for the rest of their lives.in my opinion, i would first want to work on my self esteem and talk to a professional about my problems.u need to be at peace with urself and to cherish who u are. u may think that u are unworthy or uncapable of doing something but u shouldn't understimate urself. u shouldn't look frantically for someone cuz who knows u might find someone through a funny or unsual incident. don't give up. besides my mum found her ideal partner at the age 43. always have hope and talk to someone who can help u overcome ur depressions. it might take long but have patience with urself. in the meantime u could try out a new hobby where u might even find someone :))so good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Rosygirls92  +, writes (31 January 2010):
Hey, I haven't been in a relationship myself. But maybe you shouldn't have such a bleak outlook on life. Realise that life has so much to offer, of course there are downs but we won't appreciate ups without them. So hold ur head up high. Smile, Joke, wear a bit of makeup and trust me. Boys will come :)
...............................
|
