A
male
age
41-50,
*onfusedsoul
writes:I feel being constantly looked at by other people or being judged by them for any imperfections in my physical appearance or behavior, based on which they try to judge my morality or dignity as a human being. Are these things really related? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Maybe people judge you, maybe not...the point is how you feel about that. If you feel ok about being you then what other people think should really not matter. It is ok to take opinions from other people as long as they are constructive, but it is important to recognise that people who are pre-occupied with your appearance, personality or whatever have something sadly lacking in their own lives to (a) have the time to care about trivial matters and (b) to place value on judging people instead of more creative ways of existing (i.e. feel sorry for them). Try not to worry and focus on how you feel about you...then what other people think really isn't an issue!
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Most people are too busy trying to live their own lives to have enough time to keep judging any specific person. Everyone has his/her own insecurities that they believe must be blatantly obvious to every passer by, but which strangers never notice. We're all in our own little worlds. Don't compare your insides to others' outsides.
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A
female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Everyone tends to judge themselves much harsher than others do, and therefore, tend to think that others are judging them just as harshly. Consider this--how often do you look at other people and assume things about their morality or dignity based on their appearance? I'm guessing not too often. The same is true for other people. No one ever notices you as much as you do.
As to the other half of your question--there is a slight perception bias that people have towards thinking Pretty/Clean/Healthy-Looking/Cheerful people are more likely to be Kind/Moral/Intelligent and that Unpretty/Dirty/Unhealthy-Looking/Grumpy people are more likely to be Unkind/Immoral/Unintelligent. But it is a very slight bias, and usually only lasts through the first initial impression.
In truth, of course, there is no correlation between any of these factors. You can be just as unattractive, dirty, and slow as you want and still live a life of dignity and morality. The opposite is just as true.
Feeling that others are examining you for flaws is normal--but know that it is more your own harsh critic's voice that you are hearing. In reality, most people just don't bother to look so closely at the people around them.
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A
female
reader, gf123 +, writes (15 May 2007):
 I very much doubt that people are judging you in this way. Why would they? I think this is more likely to do with a problem with your own self-esteem. If you feel insecure about your physical appearance this can have a great impact on your psychological well being.
When people feel this way, they are more likely to scrutinise others which in turn makes them believe that people are doing the same to them. Most people walking down a typical street wouldn't even recognise you 5 minutes later though. People are wrapped up in their own thoughts most of the time to make judgments.
Try to feel more confident about yourself. Maybe seek help from counsellors or other services if you need more support. In the mean time, remember that most genuine people will not be making judgments about you. The minority that do are only trying to disguise the inadequacies they perceive in themselves.
Best of luck
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