A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:what should I be feeling about my situation?I had sex with a married man. I am barely 18 he is 42 and works in the same place i do.I have a boyfriend. he at first wanted to talk to me all the time after the sex he kept asking how the sex was after I blew him off and acted like nothing happened he seems to not want to talk anymore he only speaks when he wants to hang out ... he mostly talks about his life which i find very weird.i just wanted sex and thought of him very attractive.He says he's seperated but i dont know him that much i didnt feel anything about the sex, but now i feel bad about the situation and dont know how to feel.My friends tell me you cant grow a conscience your born with one whats wrong with me???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2012): Yes the Aunts will get criticized for being blatantly honest....but why aren't your friends as well?
Look you are a mere babe, barely 18 and now planning a homewreckers lifestyle? Come on surely u have more sense? Which part of "he is married/ he has a wife / he has a wife and kids" did you not comprehend? To top this off you have a boyfriend? This MM used you for sex and will continue using you if you let him. Giving it away freely at work to any and every man will just make you the company slag.
What to do with your bf? Breakup? Pretend you havnt cheated?
Did you take precautions? Birth control/condoms?
18 without much of a conscious. Listen kid, u are not a sex addict so u cannot just feel horny and do the nearest male. Learn self control. Mastubate more if you have to. But keep those legs closed. Oh and no oral sex for MM too. These old
MM like the young ones.
Enjoy being 18 kid. Don't start your adult years being a MMs Fxxx toy
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (3 July 2012):
Well I'm happy you came here to ask this question. If you had absolutely no conscience you wouldn't be on this site right now. So not all is lost.
Like others have pointed out your actions (and your lack of consideration for the consequences) show poor judgment, naivete and a lack of morals. You have done something that impacts and hurts 2 people greatly, with little gain. If you want sex it's easy to get it from another single guy. Why sleep with a married man who is 24 years your senior (pretty creepy if you ask me) knowing it will wreck the life of his wife (and maybe his children)? Sure, he is as much to blame, but the fact you didn't stop to consider this shows me something is wrong.
If you have trouble deciding where your moral boundaries are, use this guideline: before every action you take, ask yourself how it would make YOU feel if someone else does it to you. Next, try to do things for others, that does not gain you anything. Learn to live doing selfless things and see how good it feels to cater to someone else's needs instead of just your own. Care about people.
Do you care about your friends? Or are they just puppets to suit your own wishes and needs. I doubt the latter is the case (if it is you need professional help), but you need to ponder this. Every action has a consequence. You're young, but not young enough to get away with ignorance on this particular subject..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I do agree with your friends. Having a BF and then going out and having sex with your married boss shows a lack of morals and conscience. Obviously your libido and whatever you want is more important then both of those things.
If you think having sex with whomever pleases you, then why be in a relationship? Why not be single?
What is wrong with you? You are young, naive and immature as far as relationships go, not really anything "wrong" otherwise. And honestly, I think your boss to advantage of your naivety and your immaturity. So honey, please watch out for men like this in the future. Just because an "older" person wants you to do something doesn't mean it's the "right" thing to do. You need to learn to trust your own instincts.
It's time for you to realize that EVERY action has a reaction and more or less EVERYTHING you do affects others. YOU are an adult and thus, responsible for YOUR actions.
So own up to what you did to your BF, let him decide if he wants to stay with you or move on.
LEARN from it and think before you do, in the future.
Stop beating yourself up.
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A
female
reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 OP by posting this question you're putting yourself in a really bad position to get criticized by Tom,Dick and Harry. However I'm not gonna judge you or put you down I will tell you though to end this relationship with your married lover. Secrets have a way of coming out. Please end it, nothing good comes from sleeping with a married man, they are weak, spineless users who are looking for a thrill and you the "mistress" will come off looking like the whore of Babylon and a homewrecker. End it before its too late
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A
female
reader, HughHefner'sPlaymate +, writes (2 July 2012):
OP by posting this question you're putting yourself in a really bad position to get criticized by Tom,Dick and Harry. However I'm not gonna judge you or put you down I will tell you though to end this relationship with your married lover. Secrets have a way of coming out. Please end it, nothing good comes from sleeping with a married man, they are weak, spineless users who are looking for a thrill and you the "mistress" will come off looking like the whore of Babylon and a homewrecker. End it before its too late
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (2 July 2012):
This isn’t a case of whether you have a conscience or not. Your friends are being rather pious and sanctimonious: of course people can develop a conscience, and of course they can look back later in life and regret something even if they didn’t regret it at the time. If you now feel bad about the situation but didn’t at the time, who are your friends to question that? They can’t get inside your head to truly know how you feel. And the idea that you’re born with a conscience that never changes, grows or evolves is utterly ridiculous! What’s important is that you learn from your mistake. If the married man still wants more meaningless sex, tell him a firm no. Concentrate on building a strong relationship with your boyfriend. There is no excuse for cheating, but there are often reasons why people do it. Were there problems in your relationship with your boyfriend? Think about what made you look elsewhere and what changes you could make within your relationship to resolve those issues. Even if it really was all about sex, think of ways you could spice up your sex life with your boyfriend. The main thing is that you make sure that you’ve completely broken things off with the married man, before some-one gets hurt. Don’t be drawn in to any philosophical discussion about conscience, or allow your friends to disregard any feelings of guilt that you have as not being genuine. Your concern now should be your relationship, the married man should get on with his life but you should stay out of his business and keep focus on your future.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): Your friends are right, you cheated on your boyfriend with a person who is married.
What should you feel? No one can tell you that, you either feel bad about it or you don't.
The simple truth is though you'll get a reputation as a cheater and then guess what, guys won't trust you at all and they'll gladly cheat on you too.
You see OP karma has a funny way of hurting you the way you hurt others and if your friends know that you're a cheater and don't mind hurting people to get what you want then they'll not only lose respect for you but they won't trust you either.
It doesn't matter how you "should" feel, all you need to know is that if you screw over others to get what you want without thinking of the consequences, life will be very difficult for you in the future, it really will. If people don't think they can trust you or that you can't control yourself then you're going to have a long life of drama, failed relationships/friendships and getting used by guys who see you as only good for sex.
To us guys cheaters are fair game to fuck over, why shouldn't we? They don't care who they hurt so it's okay for us screw them and leave them, certainly would be foolish to actually want a relationship with a cheater.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 I highly doubt there is anything wrong with you. At the end of the day you saw him and you felt you wanted to have sex with him end of story. You never at the time thought about how this would make your boyfriend feel, or his wife feel if they where ever to find out. You acted on a selfish impulse to get what you wanted. Stay clear of this man, you are still only young and you have much to learn about being in a relationship and staying faithful. You can get a reputation for going around having sex with married men and it could ruin your life. Also you should get checked out for STI's as well. Get yourself off to a clinic. I don't think you are ready to be in a relationship, and if you are going to cheat on your boyfriend, then please break up with him so that he can find someone who will respect him.
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