A
female
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anonymous
writes:My ex bf broke up with me because his friends didnt like me. They thought I was weird because I am quiet/shy and dont drink. Whenever I would go out with him and his mates and I wouldnt say much, as soon as they would leave he would start yelling and abusing me. I am going out with a different guy now and he made a comment that I was close quiet around one of his mates and his mate's gf. I am worried that he will want to dump me for the same reason my ex bf did. Its like no 1 understands that it takes me a while to get to know people and to feel ok around them. Especially when im in big groups, I am very shy. I am ok when its just me and one other person, but when in a group with people I dont know Im really shy.So my question is, do you think its a fair reason, to break up with someone because they are quiet/shy around your friends? If your gf/bf was like that, what would you do? Would you be patient? Or dump them?Also any tips on how to overcome this quicker?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): I'm quiet shy & quiet when I'm around new people or people I don't know also. It just takes a while for me to get to know them and trust them before I can over come my shy/quiet part of me. Just explain this to your boyf that you are naturally shy & quiet around new people til you get to kno them. I'm sure he'll understand then how you feel.
I do admit that its lousey the way your ex dumped you because "his friends didn't like you" = what sort of reason is that?? He obviously thought more of his mates than he did of you to do that. He's not worth worrying about if thats the case.
A
female
reader, Holz  +, writes (14 March 2008):
HI,
It isnt right that your ex boyfriend dumped you because his friends didnt like you to be honest that just pathetic and imature, if someone likes you that much then they would understand that it takes you a while to feel comfortable aroud people and they would accept that. Your bofriend has no right to shout abuse at you just because you didnt talk its a bit silly isnt it. You need to explain to him what youve said in your question about you taking time to get to know people he will only dump you if hes an idiot. Its no reason to dump someone so waht if his friends didnt like you your not going out with them are you. Listen huney tel you boyfriend and see what he says if he does dump you then you need to know that you acn do better because frankly that pathetic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Hi Hunny
I wrote a whole page then it dissapeared her goes again sweetheart...No!!!! It is no a good reason for splitting up with someone at all he was a pig!!!!!! My fella is like you and he is lovely just as you are...Just say to your new fella It takes me awhile to relax with people and get used to them it not your mates I think they are great love....social phobia is what you have hunny and im sending you a link its ok you can sort this and im sending you a link for self esteem as that last fella of your knocked yours...
http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/shyness/tips.html
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
These 2 sites will help you hunny dont panic your ok always remember your special, TAKE CARE WIYH LOVE N SQUISHY HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (14 March 2008):
Your ex was stupid. You can't help being shy and any decent person would explain to their friends that you are a little nervous around people you don't know well and expect their consideartion, not start abusing you after they leave.
Your new boyfriend could help you with this, he could make sure that you get to know a couple of his friends on a one to one basis by inviting them round or out with you one at a time, rather then a big group. That way when you next go out as a big group you would be more confident because you know someone other then just your boyfriend. Once you know more of his friends it will be easier for you to talk to them. It's always hard to meet lots of new people at once, so talk to him and see if he would be prepared to help you.
Any decent boyfriend will not break up with you for being shy!!
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