A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently turned 18 so I've been going out clubbing and to pubs more often. I'm single, and I see a lot of girls there that I am far too shy to talk to! I have REALLY low confidence and I think I'm too ugly for anyone to notice me. Plus, the guys I go out with are really good looking. Does anyone have any advice for being able to talk to/dance with girls like that? I'm really eager to meet some new people see.
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clubbing, confidence, notice me, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 First, write down a list of the things you would do if you *were* confident, outgoing, socially savvy, and basically awesome. Then start doing that stuff. Force yourself - never give yourself time to think, just act on impulse.Second, if you can handle it (and bring a wingman you can trust), go out to a place in an inconvenient location where you're unlikely to go very often, and hit on every girl you see. Try different approaches, anything from just smiling and making eye contact before walking over and saying "hi" to standing next to a girl and delivering a cheesy pickup line. Get shot down, take the risks you wouldn't take in a club closer to home, and basically get used to rejection. You may even have some success; either way, it'd be a great learning experience.Also, never get more than slightly buzzed before talking to strange girls. I know it's easier when you're a little drunk, but you're also far less likely to succeed. You can always increase your alcohol intake later; you can't un-drink just because a girl is turned off by your intoxication.
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Looks like you're going through a tough time. I don't have any advice on how you can talk or dance with women. But I do have some advice on how you can improve your life in general. Don't ask personal questions on internet sites because some of the people (including the people who run this site) are insincere and voyueristic.
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A
female
reader, cooListic kid  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 imagine your in a parallel universe, where everyone are more confident, flirty, happy with the power of alcohol. (not that everyone will be like that).
not every chick is gonna be the same and you have to remember to back off when the obvious signs arise!
get one of your mates to be a wing man if your really need.
just go up to a chick and say hey, how ya goin? and see where it leads you.
i used to just get guys just come up behind me and start dancing with me, which didn't bother me cause percentage of the time i was toasted and i was just layback that i didn't care!
don't forget we learn from our mistakes and confidence is sexy!
all you really have to do is chill out and don't over think things, your there to have fun right!!
just don't get to cocky and "expect" anything!
anyone who's just gonna judge you on how you look isn't worth it!!
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (1 July 2011):
Secretly a lot of girls all feel that way about themselves too, with the added problem of being convinced they're too fat. I can guarantee you're not circus fresk material either. Just smile, ask, and take rejection well, because sometimes that will happen and it's not the end of the world- a steak will still taste just as good. And don't be self-conscious about how badly you're dancing, as most guys can't and girls do expect this. Oh, and never approach a tableful of girls to ask one of them, as if she says no it's a long walk back to your table and you'll be convinced they're all laughing at you even if they aren't.
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A
female
reader, Mickkiee +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Hiya, I've recently turned 18 and probably have quite an average confidence level. But i know what you mean the best thing you can do is have a luagh girls like guys who can make them laugh. On a night out there are guys who come over and start dancng like i mean they could be dancing with there best boy mate and then come over and start dancing with the girls in the circle. Honestly the best thing you can do is try to make them laugh. I bet yuor a lovely guy and as for your good looking mates its probably that they just have a bit more confidence thats all. But you'll get a lovely girl in no time :) Hope this helps
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