A
female
age
41-50,
*onelyalone
writes:So.....I started dating this guy. He had just gotten out of jail. We were just friends at first. Spent Christmas....New years together. Didn't want him to be alone. We started dating right after christmas. He has moved all his stuff into my house. Stayed here ever since we met. I do everything for this man. I cook I clean I do his laundry....do anything he asks of me. He has a baby on the way with another woman...baby due in April. All of a sudden....the ex comes back into the picture. BOOM! He takes off one night and says he needs to be alone. He is working on this house that he is going to be moving into. There is NOTHING in this house. It isn't even clean. He asked me to borrow a few blankets that night so he could go to his house and stay...he needed to clear his mind. Well.... ever since that night....he has been staying at his house at night only. Comes here every morning...every day....eats...showers....changes clothes. Kisses me like nothing happened...but his whole story is changed! Now he isn't ready for this and isn't ready for that...yet he isn't changing anything when he is here. I feel like i am being used or something. I am not changing anything I am doing. I have noticed him more distant. Not talking as much...not so lovey dovey. Won't hold me or anything. I am so confused! Can anyone help me?
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female
reader, lonelyalone +, writes (5 January 2010):
lonelyalone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell....he came and stayed last night with me. he made the comment that "if we were to get involved in some beautiful healthy relationship...I will still have my own place...and you yours... and our own lives". Then he told our friend David....All I really wanted was a cool chick to kick it with for the holidays. Well Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to you too! I fell for him...and I am being punished. I told him today....thanks for staying...we make such great friends. he got mad at me. Part of me wants to end it and part of me doesn't. What if it could be something....what if it's not? I just don't know. I am so confused. I'm alone every night anyways. Why does it bother me so much?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): CaringGuy said it. This guy just needed a place to hang his hat for a while after getting out of jail. I bet he was just looking to have fun over the holidays, then get his life back in order. As for why he might stay around, it's simple; you do his laundry and make sure he's showered and fed. This is a great situation for him because he is getting something without giving in return. I am sorry if what I said offended you, but you need to know that he is clearly taking advantage of you. He won't leave his baby mama. Even if he does, she will always be in the picture. You should end this. Now. Cut your losses, call it a fling, and move on.
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A
female
reader, lonelyalone +, writes (4 January 2010):
lonelyalone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow do I get out? I don't want to put him on his butt with nothing. I have such a big heart and I really do care. I just feel so used and hurt right now. He leaves at night...says he is gonna go stay at his new house...then his phone is off all night. She showed up the other night at BW3 when him and one of my friends BF's were eating there and watching the Bangles game...well...then he went out and talked to her for like 10 minutes...then resumed what he was doing. She texts all the time. he says he needs to get his life in order and get things going for himself. He was homeless when he got out of jail...HOMELESS! I helped him. I have too big of a heart. How can I just stop what I am doing and make it not noticable. How can I make him see what he has with me...and make him want this?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Yes, dear, he's using you. When he came out of jail, he had nowhere to go and there you were, ready to give him support. He took it. Now that he's found other things to think about, he wants out. Don't let him use you anymore.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
I can. He's used you. Move on now before it's too late. Everything has moved far too fast here, and you need to move on now. You don't run a hotel. It's your home. Get rid of him.
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