A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this problem me and my husband is getting along well,he recently started a new job. But he and the lady that works together is getting along but too much if you ask me,we went to a bbq the other day she where there he looked at her the whole night not once did he looked at me,stand by me or talked to me.Some days it would be asif i dont excists anymore it feels like im just the one that cleans and cook after him not like he's wife i mean he doesnt treat me like a lady at all. He is a good person. But i can only take so much,a few days back i were sick with the flu really bad he didnt even bother to ask me what is wrong or can i get you something just freaked out and said i dont have time for your complaining on how you feel. So wether i had the flu or not i still had to the house stuff i feel so sad. He told me he is going to treat me like a ...... well i dont wanna say the word. Is it me over reacting or what? Oh and btw everyone is alowed to email him at work except me nor can i phone him then he is mooody all day with me!! I just feel that i also have a heart, im also a person like him,but he doesnt.I have to make plan if we need money or if i do extra work to get extra money i dont even get any. He just spends it on himself haircuts and much more. I asked him for a juice im thirtsty he says there isnt money for crap like that. So i ask him please could i have money for some women stuff (perfume ect.) he says no its a waste of money but he buys for himself. Each month i bring in more money but doesnt see anything!! Yes we have a bind account. The other night i told him he is hurting me he wanted rought intercourse he said shut the fuck up!it were so painfull Then in the middle of it he says fuck it im not going to do all the work! But i never complain if i do it all the time making love even 3times a day because i love him and i do it with love,i dress up sexy,i always look good.So i ask again is it wrong of me to be sad? And if im wrong how can i change?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Now, exactly why are you still with this guy? This isn't a husband, it's a monster from the pit of hell!
A
female
reader, smiley_1  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Hello,
He doesn't have any respect for you,or your feelings. He acts like you don't exist stares at other women, talks to you in a vulgar manner, doesn't consider your feelings.
I understand you feel as though you've taken oaths but he also took those oaths and is treating you badly.
You deserve to be happy,loved,wanted, and respected as a lady.
You need to have a voice in your relationship. Tell him his behaviour is unacceptable and he needs to change. Try counselling if your not wanting to leave the relationship. If he doesn't want to attend,or compromise then its time you truly think things through.
Good luck
;D
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (15 June 2010):
 "He is a good person."
Really?
You were not the only one to make vows to God; he's supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the Church and your husband is not keeping up his end of the deal. Yes, there are good time and bad times in any relationship, but what you are describing is abuse. You have not mentioned one thing in your post that justifies staying in this relationship.
Why are you afraid of leaving?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): reading through your story, i have no doubt that (as much as im sorry to say) ur husband is a very selfish man. I would never let that happen to me with my husband. As a woman, I think you should understand that you should be cherished and cared for by your man, and you shouldn't deserve that kind of hurtful acts by your own husband. No, you are not wrong at all for saying youre sad. This is beyond sad, its absurd by my standards. I think you're a beautiful woman, and you deserve a real man, who can treat you like a princess.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): you have to go to the bank and work out how to set up your own personal bank account. This guy is a jerk, he does not care about you or even consider you to be a human being like him. Marriage is not the end of everything, if your husband treats you this awfully you should not feel bad at ALL for leaving. Save your own money, have your own account or keep it in cash. By denying you any money he is denying you an opportunity to be independent, but if u work and earn for yourself you can set up a life for yourself.
good luck sweetie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Im the one that post it. Well you see me and my husband have gone trough alot off stuff together. And i did make vows towards him and god. With good time's and bad time's.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (15 June 2010):
 To answer your question - No you are not wrong to feel sad. Reading your story made me feel sad. Why are you even with this guy? He treats you like shit! You may think you love him but a man who loves you does not say "shut the fuck up" to you during rough intercourse if his woman complains that it hurts! An man who loves you would not even want to have that type of sex with you unless you were totally into it yourself and it dos not sound like you are to me. You described a selfish, uncaring, inconsiderate man who ignores you and your feelings. Tell me again why you think you love him?
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